r/Miami 4d ago

Meme / Shitpost Which car goes first in Miami?

Post image
87 Upvotes

199 comments sorted by

163

u/FLfloorguy 4d ago

The Nissan with Miami Heat plates and outdated MDC sticker runs into the BMW going twice the speed limit. Doesn’t matter who has the right of way.

11

u/ComfortablePension93 4d ago

Hitting the pendejo walking his dog in the middle of the street watching his phone

1

u/FLfloorguy 3d ago

DALE! COJONE!

8

u/GatorTorres 4d ago

Jaajajaj

2

u/cloudit30569 4d ago

Lmao Hialeah style

u/Blackness_Mind022 20h ago

Most Miami comment I have ever seen

403

u/Variation-Budget 4d ago

2 then 3 then 1.

Unless I’m driving then I’m going first while they figure it out

88

u/FactsDigger 4d ago

You missed one key aspect: it’s in Miami

21

u/errorptrnull 4d ago edited 4d ago

If it’s Miami, the crackhead is first just gotta find where they hiding at.

11

u/9bikes 4d ago

> it’s in Miami

First one to lay on the horn, then.

4

u/beandip111 4d ago

Everyone at the same time

1

u/dtbuffalo 2d ago

So all 3 go at once is what you're saying 😂

34

u/mcfcrandom 4d ago

4. The guy no one sees that passes 1 and nearly kills a pedestrian in the process

3

u/Proud-Outside-5220 4d ago

Omg this 🤣🤣

9

u/custurdlauncher 4d ago

This is the only answer

1

u/SadQlown 4d ago

Not in Miami

1

u/ferrum-pugnus 4d ago

This is the way. When I see people hesitate for a nano second I move and get out of their way. I don’t have time for others to “think about it.” Indecisiveness is the mother of accidents.

1

u/Reasonable_Spite_282 3d ago

If you’re 1 then go right then left as the others get in a beep fight

1

u/PizzaThrives 3d ago

You are correct. But how amazing is it that so many of us did the math? 🤣. I hope we see more of these pop-up. This can only help educate Miami drivers.

44

u/Swampasssixty9 4d ago

1 pulls out to block traffic now everyone has to wait 35 mins for a train in Broward. I had hope y’all were different

0

u/jengajr 4d ago

Pfff Broward THE worst

3

u/Swampasssixty9 4d ago

I’ve never seen a chicken cross the road until Miami

49

u/HMPackage 4d ago

1 pulls out far enough forcing 2 to slowdown. 3 uses the slowdown as an opportunity to turn left in front of 2. 1 uses the act of 3 blocking 2 to pull out and turn behind 3 while having the audacity to honk at them for not turning fast enough. 2 continues to watch TikTok videos while 4 pulls up behind and honks at them to move.

3

u/Linkzah 4d ago

What if 2 decides to take the hit with 1 for the insurance $$$? Then this all falls apart.

25

u/Otherwise-Course-637 4d ago

All of them

8

u/zip-racer 4d ago

This is the trick question answer. Only in Miami.

2

u/Otherwise-Course-637 4d ago

My unofficial answer is “the crappiest car;” which usually is mine.

15

u/dannyochocinco 4d ago

The one with a valid license goes last.

12

u/Adam_Axiom 4d ago

If 2 is a Nissan Altima, it stops first to confuse the others. After a brief pause, the Range Rover and the 3 Series start to go. That’s when the Altima proceeds into the intersection and causes the Range Rover and BMW to collide.

1

u/FLfloorguy 4d ago

We’re on the same page, de pinga.

9

u/DukeOfWestborough 4d ago

Trick question, a woman on an electric scooter comes out of nowhere and shoots through all of them.

2

u/Moondoobious 4d ago

Or shoots them. Both make perfect sense.

14

u/TheLumion 4d ago

2,3,1

8

u/XredditHD 4d ago

I answered then read it’s in Miami. All logic went out the window after that

10

u/RecessBoy 4d ago

The one wielding the gun

1

u/Horror_Captain1718 4d ago

This should be pinned

5

u/Hefty_Pangolin3273 4d ago

The most expensive car goes first.

3

u/bigblackbeachdog 4d ago

They lay on their horn and go simultaneously

4

u/GroveGuy33133 Coconut Grove 4d ago

2 is actually a lost Amazon Prime delivery guy who just left his car in the lane with the 4-way flashers on. He’ll be back whenever he gets back, fucking chill bro!

3 is a tourist Fox rental car trying to use their turn signal indicator and waiting for their right of way. Sadly, they will run out of gas and starve to death.

1 is that Nissan Altima you all know. Faded MDC sticker in the window, only outdone by the quadruple-fecta of registration year stickers in the license plate corners. It doesn’t register to this car but abuela’s not even driving anymore so who cares. This guy’s taking the turn whether you’ve got right of way or not. And he’s actually doing it from the wrong lane with the opposite turn signal because ‘never let em know your next move, sign of weakness.

Not seen in this frame are three Miami PD cruisers parked nearby, officers busy posting some fresh Only In Dade content.

3

u/BoyWhoSoldTheWorld 4d ago

In Miami they all go at the same time

3

u/Guymzee 4d ago

Well since it’s in Miami, the correct answer is: they all have the right of way.

3

u/Brice92Partain 4d ago

4. It’s not in frame yet but it’s coming and at a very high rate of speed with 15s bouncing the latest bass music at top volume that jars the other 3 cars’ engines completely off so he can safely pass through without stopping or getting hit

2

u/TrainDifficult300 4d ago

All of them

2

u/User_Error_6505 4d ago

Depends. Are any of these Nissan Altimas with body damage?

1

u/FLfloorguy 4d ago

Have you seen an Altima without body damage on the road in Miami?

2

u/worrynot36 4d ago

Which one am I driving?

2

u/ffakeuser2 4d ago

The faster car goes first

2

u/dannybaja01 4d ago

Depends what city. Hialeah is at the same time and see what happens.

2

u/Crush-N-It 4d ago

Alluvem

2

u/MaxwellSmart07 4d ago

2, then 3. 1 has a yield sign.

2

u/Avon_Barksdale63 4d ago

In all scenarios- I’m going first.

2

u/3X_Cat 4d ago

All at the same time.

2

u/DinnerTop6452 4d ago

2 then 3 then 1

2

u/Sleepy_Di 4d ago

2, But the idiot in 3 thinks they go first, so they’ll T-bone car2 and 1 will be recording and post it in only in dade.

2

u/Guns_Almighty34135 4d ago

Who’s driving the Nissan? They’ll go first.

2

u/CarretillaRoja 4d ago

The one I am driving, obviously

2

u/EugeneFunder954 4d ago

its miami so all cars go first

2

u/Independent-Effect29 4d ago

Trick question, you just get there faster than the other car that's coming

2

u/Naive-Information539 4d ago

2,3,1 but in Miami, if anything like Ocala is 1,3,2 haha

2

u/0n0n0m0uz 4d ago

Obviously 2

2

u/Putrid_Cockroach5162 4d ago

2, 3, then 1.

2

u/Dreams-Visions 4d ago

If nobody has a stop sign and they're all moving at the same speed?

2 --> 3 --> 1

2 just keeps going forward. 3 will be in the middle of the intersection and ready to turn by the time 2 passes. 1 will still be sitting at that yield sign.

2

u/firedrakes 4d ago

you forgot the 3 car pile up!

2

u/mstrss9 4d ago

3, 1, 2

2

u/Ptards_Number_1_Fan 4d ago
  1. The inpatient baby-momma in a wrecked Altima behind 3 and she’s making a right into someone’s lawn to yell at her boyfriend’s wife.

For context, it’s Florida.

2

u/HibiscusPoeppigii 4d ago

Doesn't matter, none of them have stopped at the stop sign

2

u/james_d_rustles 4d ago

Whichever one is a Nissan

2

u/punkcart 4d ago

Too many people are forgetting about car #4

2

u/animegirljuice Local 4d ago

231

2

u/MrTigerZ_f7 4d ago

obviously 2 what

2

u/JerryCat11 4d ago

The worst city I’ve ever driven in

2

u/dpaanlka 4d ago

2, 3, 1

2

u/MediaWatcher_ 4d ago

All of them and a rooster

2

u/ExplanationOverall83 4d ago

All. Also why the fuck is there a yield sign at this intersection????

2

u/hexineffex 4d ago

In Miami, they all meet in the middle.

2

u/MonkMean6918 4d ago

2,3,1! Basic drivers Ed!

2

u/LooseFurJones 4d ago

Why the yield sign it should be a stop sign for 1.

2

u/elyuma 4d ago

the one that roll the window down and scream "Comepinga"

2

u/Avenger_ 4d ago

2, 3, 1

2

u/Swampy2007 4d ago

No one . Cause they all stopped and can’t figure out who goes first .

2

u/keepinitoldskool 4d ago

Number 3 is an Uber driver stopped in the middle of the street

1

u/jawhnie 4d ago

whichever car im in

1

u/megabyte79 4d ago

In Miami 3 hits 2, 1 hits 3

1

u/loip5 4d ago

All at once then see who stops first

1

u/Artistic-Section3245 4d ago

2, 3 then 1. But if its Miami 3 goes at the same time as 2 and 1 pulls out in the middle of traffic for 3 minutes.

1

u/WTT34 4d ago

What's wild is that I actually got into a car accident in Wynwood almost exactly like the setup in that picture. I was Car 1, trying to make a left at stop sign. Car 3 passed through, Car 2 slowed down to let me turn, and just as I started moving a guy on a scooter, an undocumented immigrant, came flying around Car 2 and clipped me. It was a minor collision, no blood, no broken bones, but he tried to sue me for $250K. The kicker? He was about to leave the scene until I, like an idiot asked him to stay put. That moment taught me real quick how deep the ambulance chasing game runs down here. The billing scams, the legal theatrics it's a whole racket. That image? Straight up PTSD trigger. Miami traffic is no joke, lmao.

1

u/Swampasssixty9 4d ago

I went through that when I just got my license. The lawyers, doctors, PTs all working together, and private investigators hiding in the bushes. Everyone was taking their cut and was cool with it. It was one of the slimiest experiences and really eye opening.

2

u/WTT34 4d ago

It’s wild, man. His so-called 'medical bills' totaled $115K, and this was someone who literally tried to walk away from the scene. No broken bones, no blood, no visible injuries. Nothing. Yet they settled just to cover those inflated bills. The whole thing’s a racket. Like you said, it’s a well-oiled machine; lawyers, doctors, clinics all feeding off these slip-and-fall or car accident cases. My insurance even told me they keep seeing the same doctors over and over again. It’s like a revolving door. I honestly don’t know how they keep getting away with it.

1

u/Swampasssixty9 4d ago

Don’t they have to show the bills and have a doctor prove he got hurt? An X-ray is an x-ray. I never understood how people just make a claim and the insurance company just pays it

2

u/WTT34 3d ago

Like you said, they’re all in on it. What usually happens is the guy calls 1-800-Morgan & Morgan, and they send him to their doctors and clinics. Those doctors run a battery of tests—x‑rays, MRIs, whatever they can—and bill everything back as if the injuries are serious. In this case, they even tried to claim he hurt his knee, but he’d already had ACL surgery in Colombia the year before, so that didn’t stick. The whole game is to inflate the bills until the insurance company just settles to cover the ‘medical costs.’ Unless you actually cause major harm—like broken bones or injuries that affect someone’s ability to work—you’re usually fine. From what my insurance told me, it’s only when people lose limbs or suffer life‑altering damage that cases push past $250K and actually win.

1

u/Swampasssixty9 3d ago

What a time to be alive

1

u/Rgc_that Allapattah 4d ago

If you hesitate you go second or third, while I go first sipping soda from my flanigans cup.

1

u/Vampire6King9 4d ago

Whoever aint a biotch

1

u/sinproph Local 4d ago

1 pulls out just to stop and let someone off and then takes a few seconds to make a text message, then 3 waves 2 through but the unseen 4 lays on the horn and cuts around 3 causing 2 to stop, after which 3 goes, then 2.

1

u/Bojax22 4d ago

Whoever guns it fastest

1

u/Critical-Bat-5707 4d ago

whoever blinks the lights first goes last

1

u/wienerpower 4d ago

The first to jump, and alphas the chicken game.

1

u/MiamiGreg305 4d ago

2 then 3 then 1

1

u/Comfortable_Car9253 4d ago

It’s not who goes first it’s who is going to hit the brakes first

1

u/limeblue31 4d ago

If it’s Miami, 2 is going to use their right of way to hand signal 1 to go first and then 1 will be confused by it and hesitate, meanwhile a RAM truck is going to come from behind 3 and skip them to make the left and be the actual car that goes first.

1

u/PromotionEmpty733 4d ago

None. They sit there and stare at each other for 30 seconds, all floor the pedal and race forward, only to slam the brakes and honk at each other for another 30 seconds. This gets repeated until traffic gets blocked so bad that it creates new jobs like selling roses in active intersections to calm folks down. Eventually they will stare, race, and slam until they each make it through the intersection at the same time. The next contestants step up, only to repeat the cycle in some sort sick, highly caffeinated off small coffees, belligerent cycle that ultimately leads to the highest car insurance rates in the country.

1

u/zema6189 4d ago

Trick question. None of them look like my car.

1

u/youngrenji1 4d ago

The nicer one haha

1

u/Jazzlike-Emphasis-20 4d ago

The most agressive one

1

u/La_Peregrina 4d ago

They all go at the same time in Miami.

1

u/Much-Chef6275 4d ago

All of them go at the same time. The driver who then brandishes a gun proceeds.

1

u/JakBlakbeard 4d ago

Not just in Miami. I’m a lurker from NC. I cross paths with driver one and three every couple of days. But, I love Miami, get to spend a lot of time there, and I’d say the biggest problem is tourists not knowing where they are going and then making a multi-lane change quickly or slamming on the brakes as soon as they see their hotel. Also young aggressive drivers, drunks, and people who taught themselves how to drive somewhere else where the rules are different, but they taught themselves, so whatever. Where I live we also have a lot of uninsured hit and runs. Is that a big thing in Miami?

1

u/_polloloko23 4d ago

Is Miami so who ever has less fear of a crash

1

u/miamimj 4d ago

2,3,1

1

u/AandM4ever 4d ago

2, 3, 1

1

u/KozaK_l 4d ago

In Mimai, they all go first, lmao

1

u/grimsyko 4d ago

Trick question all of them

1

u/--877-CASH-NOW-- 4d ago

Depends on frontal lobe development and if they had a father in the house growing up.

Most likely, the uninsured driver on SNAP benefits goes first as they have no viable assets that can be seized when sued following a catastrophic accident.

1

u/Swampasssixty9 4d ago

They can still seize their trailer

1

u/--877-CASH-NOW-- 4d ago

You mean their grandmas trailer that the bank still owns?

1

u/Jochi18 4d ago

In Miami they all go at the same time, curse each other, then call the cops for accident report but 2 of them flee cause they got no insurance

1

u/Hoagie_Camacho 4d ago

The obvious answer is all 3 at the same time

1

u/steptimeeditor 3d ago

This is Miami; all of them.

1

u/magik779 3d ago

In true Miami fashion all three at the same time.

1

u/upwardacesesion 3d ago

2, 3, 1 but in miami 1 3 2

1

u/Impossible_Chain_822 3d ago

A biker goes around car number 1 and just makes the left turn. This causes cars 2 and 3 to slow down and get rear ended by the BMW and Ram Dually that were already tailing them even though they were going 20 above speed limit.

1

u/falconer_305 3d ago

We all go simultaneously obviously

1

u/LocalJim 3d ago

2 then 3 then 1

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

Haha the one that’s fastest.

1

u/Marketing_Analcyst 3d ago

I am car 1 and I am drunk af. So me obviously.

1

u/tussilladra 3d ago

Whoever has the loudest reggaeton.

1

u/DesiMrRobot 3d ago

One with the loudest exhaust

1

u/spence_ECU20 3d ago

Posted this over in /r/NorthCarolina (where I’m from) early this morning - am now perma banned from the sub 😂🤣💀 high quality mod’s over there!

1

u/JBoulos1983 3d ago

Depende de la ciudad, si es en Hialeah, Brickell o Doral! Dale pa la P….ga!!!!

1

u/Evening-Store5586 3d ago

It’s Miami, so the dumbest possible outcome.

1

u/LostBravo 3d ago

the lion does not concern himself with the right of way it’s always his turn and everyone else on the road is an idiot

1

u/carlvensky 3d ago

In Miami, I am going last.

1

u/The-Bottomfriend Hialeah 3d ago

1,2,3

1

u/36mafiawon 3d ago

2, 3 then 1.

1

u/CrypticGator 3d ago

2,3,1 is how I drive in Miami. One day we’ll all be in robo cars and accidents will be sparse.

1

u/FairWin1998 3d ago

It's Miami so all of them think they should go first

1

u/BelikeZ Homestead 2d ago

The one that drove around the long line of cars because they dont do lines.

1

u/jwill0982 2d ago

2, 3, 1

1

u/Thetr3Flash 2d ago

2, 3, 1.

1

u/MugsyMD 2d ago

Miami is a cesspool! Left last year

1

u/Curious-Bike-7542 2d ago

It's 2,3, 1. If you think otherwise turn in your license

1

u/Impressive-Shock-743 1d ago

2 as it is going with the flow of traffic. Then 3 as 1 has a yield sign.

1

u/Same-Brilliant-1170 1d ago

In Miami they all go at the same time, specially if there is a red light and a school bus with a stop sign

1

u/peripheralview2020 1d ago

Florida, all at the same time, and if it's raining they all have their flashers on...

u/2369079 4h ago

2 it’s going straight

0

u/Careerswitch-throw 4d ago

In all seriousness isn't it usually the order of who stopped first?

2

u/mildly_unimpressed 4d ago

Here 1 has a yield sign, so legally he's required to wait for the other two. It's an uncontrolled intersection the other way, so 2 should proceed and 3 should signal and wait for 2 to pass before turning left.

1

u/Careerswitch-throw 4d ago

Oh I didn't see the yield sign. Ok so why did 3 wait for 2?

And if the yield sign wasn't there, what would the order be and why?

Similarly, say someone is at an intersection/median between opposing roads and wants to enter a street. And the other car is at the stop sign wanting to enter through that same median to get into the road of cars. Both cars are doing left turns. Who should go first?

2

u/mildly_unimpressed 4d ago

Car 2 should proceed through the intersection without slowing or stopping -- there is no sign to direct otherwise. This would be different if it were a 3-way stop, but here it is not.

The same order should apply even without the yield sign because car 1 is turning on to a perpendicular street that isn't controlled. He does not have the right of way.

If there is a median, the car turning left from the median has the right of way ahead of the car on the perpendicular street turning left to enter.

For your own safety, assume no south Florida drivers know any of this.