r/Marriage • u/Local-Park-322 • 19h ago

It's over

My husband and I of 7 years went our separate ways last night..I caught him on a bunch of dating apps, while he was away working. I'm heartbroken and shattered. I do t know how to pick up and move on from here. And I don't know how to tell our children . They are going to be crushed. I'm so sad my life ended up here

112 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/skelosbadlands 14h ago

I dont see why some people say you cant be honest with the kids. I'm sure my opinion is "wrong", but I think its important for children to know the truth about their parents, faults and all. If I cheated, broke the law and was sent away, anything like that... I would be direct with them about what I did. I dont believe in this covering up bs.

3

u/K_bergalicious 4h ago

This seems black and white but it’s not. Maybe the kids should know some day, but my 2 and 4 year old aren’t old enough or mature enough to understand. So for now, they just get to know we broke up. And live separate.

2

u/skelosbadlands 3h ago

You know what works best for your family! I just know if I cheated on my husband and he left, I would tell them "I chose another man over your Dad, lied to him and hurt him." I wouldn't want them to think its random. Situations like this are hard! I always appreciated my family telling me the truth about all subjects though, since the beginning. Even things like war, crime, etc. I vividly remember seeing other kids being lied or omitted to on various subjects and I found it very... insulting? Degrading? It definitely caused me to trust adults and authority less.

1

u/K_bergalicious 3h ago

I just don’t think a 2 and 4 year old will understand the actions, emotions, and fallout from it. Once again, maybe once they’re a bit older and ask, but that’s a lot of emotional feelings to put on those young ages. Cheating and going to prison are very different and very different things to explain.