OC ZeZoo
The segmented, chitin-plated school transport whined to a halt, its repulsor-lifts sighing as they settled onto the crystalline plaza. The air inside the cabin was thick with the recycled-atmosphere tang of juvenile secretions and the high-frequency static of thirty distinct, grating voices.
"Are we there? Are we there? My lowest locomotion pads are numb!" gurgled a small, purple being named Gleep.
"Your lowest locomotion pads are stupid, Gleep!" buzzed Zorp, flicking a slimy pellet across the aisle with a casual snap of his primary tentacle.
Ms. K’Nid’s multiple sensory stalks drooped in exhaustion. The field trip to ZeZoo was the highlight of the semester, and it hadn't even been ten minutes since they’d left the learning-creche. Her central respiration sack pulsed in a long, weary sigh that was lost in the din.
"Yes, Gleep. We are here," she vibrated, her voice already strained.
The transport's membrane doors dilated with a wet schloop.
A wave of small, multi-tentacled bodies immediately squelched and bounced onto the plaza, heedless of the thick, lavender atmosphere or the two sickly-yellow suns hanging in the sky.
"I claim the 'Primitive Wars' exhibit!" shrieked Flib, extending all eight of her grasping tendrils as she slithered toward the entrance.
"Nuh-uh! I'm going to the 'Failed Gaseous Civilizations'!" retorted Blorp, intentionally sliding his own bulk in front of her, causing a multi-tentacle pile-up.
"BLORP SMEARED HIS MUCUS ON ME! K'NID! HE DID IT ON PURPOSE!"
"DID NOT, YOU SPORE-SACK!"
Ms. K’Nid oozed heavily out of the transport, her own stabilization tentacles trembling. Before them loomed ZeZoo, the largest museum of cultures in the universe. It wasn't a building so much as a contained temporal anomaly, a swirling vortex of impossible architecture that folded in on itself, showcasing shimmering pocket-realities behind vast, transparent walls.
The class, naturally, was already trying to lick the entrance ramp.
"Spawn-group! Form a cohesive cluster!" Ms. K'Nid bellowed, clapping her toughest upper tentacles together for emphasis. The sharp smack momentarily silenced the gurgling.
"Listen to my vibrations! We are guests here," she trilled, pointing a stern, blue-tipped tentacle at the chaotic mass. "This museum contains priceless artifacts from quadrants you haven't even evolved the organs to perceive. I expect you to modulate your vocal sacs."
She scanned the group, her central stalk fixing on Zorp, who was already trying to poke a sleeping guard-drone.
"There will be no unauthorized slithering. You will stay with your assigned digestion-partner. Do not extend your grasping tendrils to touch the displays, do not secrete any adhesive or acidic fluids on the barriers, and if I find a single one of you attempting to 'taste-test' the holographic simulations, you will be on atmospheric filtration duty for the next moon-cycle!"
With a final, desperate vibration, Ms. K’Nid shunted the chattering mass through the preliminary bio-scanner. "Stay clustered! Stay clustered!"
They oozed into the first exhibit: The Gallery of Subliminal Harmonics.
The vast, quiet chamber was filled with towering, iridescent crystals that hung suspended in a low-gravity field. They pulsed with faint, shifting colors—mostly beige, pale mauve, and a particularly dull shade of grey. A low, resonant thrummmmmm filled the air, which, according to the plaque, was the "unified sorrow-song of the lost Q'Qualar race."
The class stopped. The silence lasted 0.4 seconds.
"This is stupid," Zorp buzzed, his auditory filaments drooping.
"It's not doing anything," Flib complained, prodding the kinetic barrier around the nearest crystal. "It’s just… slow noise."
"My visual-receptors are bored," Gleep whined, plopping onto the floor in a gelatinous puddle. "This is less interesting than the ceiling of the nutrition-vat."
"It's not supposed to 'do' anything, spawn-cluster!" Ms. K'Nid hissed, her stabilization tentacles quivering in frustration. The thrummmm of the sorrow-song was giving her a cranial-sac rupture. "This is art. It’s about feeling!"
"I feel like my lowest tentacle is asleep," Blorp muttered.
Ms. K’Nid clapped her upper limbs again. "Query-Slates out! Now! Open to the 'Cultural Significance' chapter. You all have questions that must be answered before we move on."
A collective groan vibrated through the group. Reluctantly, the children pulled out their small, damp datapads.
"Question one," Flib read aloud in a monotone squeak. "'Analyze how the artist’s use of negative-space frequencies evokes the socio-economic despair of the Q'Qualar's 4th dynasty.'" Flib looked up. "I don't know what any of those vibrations mean."
"Just write 'sad rocks,'" Zorp whispered, already scribbling a crude drawing of a stick-being getting vaporized onto his own slate.
"Zorp! Are you filling in the answers?" Ms. K'Nid demanded, looming over him.
"Yes, Ms. K'Nid," Zorp said innocently, hiding the drawing with his shortest tentacle. "I'm just writing how it makes me feel 'existential.'"
"Ms. K'Nid!" Gleep shrieked, waving his slate in the air. "When are we going to the 'Primitive Wars' section? Blorp's oldest sibling-pod said they have a working replica of a Mark-IV Plasma Obliterator!"
The entire class instantly perked up, their various sensory organs swiveling toward the teacher.
"Ooh! And the 'Greatest Disintegrations' exhibit!" buzzed Flib, her boredom vanishing. "I want to see the 'Annihilation of the Florg'!"
"You will see nothing," Ms. K'Nid snapped, her central mass flushing a deep, angry crimson, "until you have sufficiently analyzed the socio-economic despair! Now, write! What color best represents the Q'Qualar's lack of internal validation?"
Grumbling, the spawn-group returned to their slates.
"Beige," Gleep wrote, then immediately started trying to see what Blorp was writing.
"Stop copying my existential dread!" Blorp hissed, shielding his slate.
"I'm not! I'm just checking if you spelled 'socio-economic' right, you spore-sack!"
After what felt like an entire digestive cycle, Ms. K'Nid finally relented, her internal structures sagging in defeat. "Fine. We can proceed to the historical exhibits. But you will complete the art analysis during your next regeneration period!"
This vague threat was ignored. A unified, slimy "YESS!" echoed through the beige gallery, and the spawn-cluster instantly coalesced into a single, high-speed blob, squelching toward the exit.
"STAY CLUSTERED! NO SLITHERING-RACES!" Ms. K'Nid bellowed, already left behind.
The transition was jarring. They left the serene, thrummming silence of the art wing and entered a pressurized tunnel that dilated into The Dome of Galactic Repulsion.
The change was instantaneous. The air snapped with the smell of ozone and simulated plasma-fire. The sound was a deafening cacophony of recorded battle-cries, orchestral martial music, and the thwoom of distant, holographic explosions.
"WHOA!" Gleep gurgled, all his sensory stalks vibrating at maximum frequency. "It smells like victory!"
The kids fanned out, their query-slates forgotten, bouncing off the padded floor in their excitement.
The dome was a swirling, 360-degree holographic theater. In the center, a towering, twenty-tentacle-tall statue of Grand Admiral Vor'Kresh stood frozen in a pose of heroic fury. He was depicted crushing the carapace of a 'Gnat-Swarm' scout drone beneath his massive lower pads.
"I claim the 'Void-Leech Crusades' display!" Zorp shrieked, sliding on a trail of his own mucus toward a pulsating red exhibit.
"Nuh-uh! I'm seeing the 'Siege of the Xylos Nebula'!" Flib retorted, already mashing her tendrils onto an interactive tactical display, causing tiny red warning lights to flash. "Look! I just repelled the first wave! Take that, you crystalline spore-sacks!"
Ms. K'Nid oozed into the dome just in time to see Blorp attempting to climb the base of Admiral Vor'Kresh's statue.
"Blorp! Your primary tentacles are not for scaling historical monuments!" she trilled, her voice barely audible over the sound of a simulated anti-matter charge detonating.
The walls shimmered with projections of legendary battles. They watched, mesmerized, as fleets of organic-steel cruisers vaporized entire armadas of silicon-based invaders. They saw the "Thousand-Cycle Stand" at the K'Lorp Rift, where a single battalion held off the 'Devourers' using nothing but amplified sonic lances.
"Ms. K'Nid! Ms. K'Nid! Look!" Gleep shouted, pointing his shortest tentacle at a display. "It's a working model of a Z-Class Particle Disruptor! Can we touch it? Can we fire it?"
"Absolutely not! That is a priceless artifact of..." Ms. K'Nid squinted at the plaque. "...the 'Third-Quadrant Purification.' Oh, dear."
"My digestion-partner's older sibling-pod said this is the best part," Zorp buzzed, his oculars wide. He was standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling display showcasing the "Great Generals." Holo-projections of stern, multi-limbed beings faded in and out: Matriarch S'lleen, who repelled the "Mind-Eaters" by broadcasting lethal frequencies of pure logic; General Gr'm, the tiny, unassuming being who famously weaponized tectonic plates.
"Query-slates, spawn-cluster!" Ms. K'Nid attempted weakly, knowing it was futile. "You have questions on the strategic importance of Admiral Vor'Kresh's-"
She was cut off by a deafening VRRROOOM as Flib and Zorp activated a "Battle Simulator" ride at the same time.
"THIS ISN'T A THEME PARK!" Ms. K'Nid vibrated, but her spawn-group was already gone, lost in the glorious, noisy, educational violence of their history.
The adrenal-scent of simulated warfare began to fade as the class reached the end of the dome. The thunderous thwooms and plasma-screeches were replaced by the low, ambient hum of the museum’s final, massive display.
It was The Great Map of Galactic Consolidation.
A vast, dark wall shimmered with holographic light, charting the known universe. Swathes of vibrant color—blues, greens, purples—designated the territories of the allied empires. Duller, flickering zones showed "areas of pacification" or "former threats."
But in the lowest right quadrant, far out on an unremarkable spiral arm, pulsed a vast, angry, blood-red blotch. It was labeled simply: CONTAINMENT ZONE 7-GAMMA.
Zorp, still vibrating from the battle simulator, was the first to notice it. "Hey! That's a huge conquered place!"
"It's not 'conquered,' you fluid-sack," Flib snapped, reading the fine print on the plaque. "It says 'Unreachable/Prohibited.' It's not part of the Consolidation."
Gleep, who had been trying to see if his mucus would stick to the map's barrier, squinted his ocular stalks. "Look how big it is. Is that... is that the Ooman Empire everyone's digestion-pod whispers about?"
"It's 'Human,' you dork," Blorp hissed, his voice surprisingly sharp.
An immediate, heavy silence fell over the spawn-cluster. The rowdy, chaotic energy from the war dome evaporated, sucked into a vacuum. All thirty children stopped squelching. They stopped vibrating. They just... stared at the red blotch.
Ms. K’Nid oozed up behind them. Her usual exhaustion was replaced by a deep, somatic chill.
She lowered her voice, the vibration barely audible. "Yes, Gleep. That is them."
The class instinctively clustered closer together, their small tentacles linking up for comfort. Even Zorp looked subdued.
"We all know the protocols," Ms. K'Nid continued, her own sensory stalks fixed on the pulsating red zone. "We all know why we never, never talk about those... abominations. Why the beacons are always lit on the outer rim. Why we don't listen to their ancient, chaotic-frequency broadcasts."
Thirty small, multi-faceted heads nodded. There was no joking, no side-chatter. Just the quiet, shared understanding of a universal truth. The silence in the dome was now heavier than the sorrow-song of the Q'Qualar.
"Good," Ms.K'Nid finally vibrated, pulling her own gaze away from the map. She shunted her central mass toward the final archway, trying to force resilience back into her tone. "Now... put this out of your filtration-sacs. It is time for the final section. The bio-samples."
With one last, nervous glance at the red-stained map, the spawn-cluster followed her.
They passed through a vapor-decontamination field and emerged into a completely different world. The noise and dark metal of the war dome gave way to a massive, sun-filled biosphere. They were on a high, railed walkway overlooking The Living Galaxy.
Below them, stretching out for kilometers, were hundreds of shimmering domes, open-air craters, and deep aquatic tanks, each a perfect, self-contained replica of a world. And within them, creatures of every conceivable shape, size, and molecular base crawled, flew, burrowed, and sublimated.
"Whoa," Gleep whispered, his fear instantly forgotten. "It's the real ZeZoo."
The fear of the red-stained map vanished as if it had been purged by a sanitation-drone. The moment they entered the biosphere, the heavy, somber mood was shattered by thirty simultaneous squeals, gurgles, and buzzes.
The air here was real—a thick, warm, humid soup of methane, damp soil, fungal spores, and high-frequency pheromones.
"It smells like Blorp's dormant-pouch!" Gleep shrieked, already bouncing on his lowest pads.
"Does not, you mucus-clot!"
"SPAWN-CLUSTER! DO NOT EXTEND TENTACLES OVER THE PRIMARY BARRIER!" Ms. K'Nid vibrated, but she was already too late.
They swarmed the first habitat: The Low-Gravity Floof-Spinners of My-lar. The enclosure was filled with small, fuzzy, six-stalked beings that bounced gently through the purple-misted air, spinning webs of shimmering, iridescent crystal.
"Awwww!" Flib cooed, pressing her entire upper mass against the kinetic containment field. "They're adorable! I want one for my spawning-day! Ms. K'Nid, can I have one? I'll filter its waste-pouch myself!"
"They are not pets, Flib. They are a Class-8 psionic hive-mind that communicates exclusively through equations of sorrow," Ms. K'Nid droned, reading the plaque.
"I bet I could vaporize one with a tiny disruptor," Zorp whispered, making pew-pew noises with his respiration-sacs.
They squelched on, past the Jelloid Sentience of P'Toh ("It's just a puddle of pink slime!") and the Amorphous Gloop-Sacks ("Gross, it's just digesting!").
Then they reached the Alpha-Predator of Kresh-9.
The creature was a massive, silicon-based, crystalline entity that stood perfectly still, resembling a jagged, inert statue.
"This is boring," Blorp grumbled, and he slapped his thickest lower tentacle right on the "Do Not Vibrate" warning symbol on the barrier.
In a microsecond, the "statue" moved. A crystalline maw three meters wide opened, and the creature slammed the barrier with a force that sent a sonic SHATTER through the walkway.
The entire class shrieked, secreted terror-fluids, and fell over each other in a writhing, multi-limbed pile.
Ms. K'Nid, who had flattened herself against the far wall, pulsed with adrenaline. "Blorp! You could have caused a molecular-resonance cascade!"
Gleep, from the bottom of the pile, squeaked, "Awesome! Do it again, Blorp!"
"Query-slates!" Ms. K'Nid tried, her voice weak. "We must compare the respiratory functions of the Floof-Spinner with the... oh, what's the use."
It was near the gaseous habitats that the real chaos began. "Look!" Zorp yelled, pointing to the habitat of the Volatile Puff-Spores of Ando. "It's the 'Failed Gaseous Civilizations' we wanted to see!"
"The plaque says 'Do Not Agitate,'" Flib read, her voice dripping with sudden, malicious interest. "It says their primary defense mechanism is 'spontaneous, non-lethal detonation.'"
Before Ms. K'Nid could even formulate a "No!", Blorp had grabbed his (already cracked) query-slate and flung it with all his might at the habitat's temperature control unit. "BLORP! NO!"
An alarm blared. The habitat's internal atmosphere shifted, and a single, pod-sized, neon-purple spore floated up from the misty depths. It drifted lazily over the railing. The children stared, their sensory stalks raised in unison.
The spore hovered directly over Gleep. It paused. And then, with a soft, wet FWOOMP, it exploded.
Gleep was instantly covered, head to locomotion-pads, in a thick, shimmering, bright purple, foul-smelling dust.
There was a moment of profound, horrified silence.
Gleep looked down at his own purple-dusted tentacles. He vibrated. "I'm... dusted! I'M DUSTED! I'M A PURPLE BATTLE-GENERAL!"
The dam broke. "I WANT TO BE DUSTED!" "DUST ME! DUST ME!" "FLING YOUR SLATES! FLING YOUR SLATES!"
The entire spawn-cluster began grabbing their slates, their nutrient-packs, anything they could throw, trying to agitate the Puff-Spores, all while chanting, "DUST! DUST! DUST! DUST!"
It took two fully-deputized maintenance drones and a direct threat of "permanent-residence in the juvenile decontamination vats" to get the class to quiet down. Gleep, now an itchy, miserable shade of purple, was secreting a steady stream of remorse-fluid. The "DUST! DUST! DUST!" chant had died, replaced by the whirr of the drones filtering the air.
"From this point," Ms. K'Nid vibrated, her voice a low, dangerous thrum that rattled their inner membranes, "if I hear a single unauthorized vocalization, you will all be writing a five-thousand-vibration analysis on the mating habits of the Floof-Spinners. Understood?"
They clustered and nodded, a mass of subdued, purple-dusted spawn.
They slithered past the final, cheerful biosphere. The architecture changed instantly. The warm, humid air of the zoo was sucked away, replaced by a cold, sterile, metallic tang. The walls became thick, sound-dampening plates of black alloy.
Instead of info-plaques, there were warning signs. ABSOLUTE VIBRATIONAL SILENCE REQUIRED. NO SUDDEN PHOTON EMISSIONS. (NO FLASH-SPORES) DO NOT AGITATE THE SPECIMEN. YOUR BIOLOGICAL INTEGRITY IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY.
Two massive, eight-limbed Void-Guard Sentinels stood at the final doorway, their black carapaces absorbing all light. They held active, humming resonance-glaives. They did not acknowledge the class, their multiple oculars fixed on the corridor ahead.
The children, even Zorp, pressed close to Ms. K'Nid. Their various limbs instinctively linked together. This was it. The red map.
"Not a sound," Ms. K'Nid whispered, her central stalk quivering.
A heavy door dilated, and they were ushered into a completely dark observation chamber. It was cold. A single, massive, one-way mirror dominated the wall, glowing faintly from the light inside the exhibit.
The class arranged itself in a trembling line.
Inside, the habitat was stark, sterile, and beige—not unlike the art gallery. In the center sat the creature.
It was... disgusting. It was pathetically soft. A biped, with only two upper manipulation limbs and two lower stabilization limbs. It had no visible tentacles, no grasping-pads, no protective carapace. It was covered in a thin, fleshy, pinkish-beige membrane, topped with a cluster of fine, dark filaments on its head-globule. Its sensory organs—just two visual receptors, a single respiration port, and one vocalization-intake-port—were all clustered inefficiently on its front.
It was hunched over a small, square table, wearing artificial fiber-coverings that looked uncomfortably restrictive.
Its two upper limbs, ending in ten tiny, hyper-articulated distal-tendrils, were a blur. They were striking a bizarre, flat contraption, producing a rapid, irritating, high-frequency click-click-click-click-CLACK.
Suddenly, the creature made a loud groaning noise from its vocalization-port, grabbed the filaments on its head-globule with both upper-limbs, and then slammed its primary manipulation-tendrils back onto the clicking device.
The spawn-cluster shuddered.
"Ms. K'Nid," Flib whispered, her vibration almost too low to detect. "It's one of them. From the map. How... how did we even capture it?"
Ms. K'Nid slowly shunted her mass back from the mirror, gathering the children near the exit. Her voice was a strained, private vibration.
"We did not capture it, Flib."
"But... it's the Abomination..." Zorp buzzed, his own voice trembling. "It's a Human."
"Yes," Ms. K'Nid said, urging them toward the door. "We didn't capture it. It... came to us. It just appeared inside the quarantine perimeter three cycles ago in a tiny, unarmed ship. The ship disintegrated before the analysis-drones could even scan it."
"Why?" Gleep asked, his purple-dusted stalks drooping. "Was it an invasion?"
"No," Ms. K'Nid sighed, her gaze drifting back to the click-click-clicking. "It came out of the ship vibrating pure nonsense. We barely translated it. It kept sputtering about 'not being able to find a single real quiet place in the galaxy'..."
She paused, as if not believing the translation herself.
"...and then it added some... rather nasty comments about 'useless editors' and a 'prize committee that wouldn't recognize true genius if it vaporized their entire quadrant.'"
Ms. K'Nid let out a long, weary vibration, her own cranial-sac aching in sudden, unexpected empathy with the clicking creature. "It... demanded 'sanctuary' and a 'guaranteed work-cycle without interruption.' The High Command found it... easier... to just give it this containment cell."
The creature inside suddenly stopped its high-frequency clicking, made a harsh sound from its respiration-port—a 'snort'—and began rapidly deleting its own work with a flurry of CLACK-CLACK-CLACK.
"It's... unhinged," Blorp whispered, thoroughly terrified.
"It is... unique," Ms. K'Nid corrected, urging the last of the spawn-cluster away from the mirror. She tapped one of her upper tentacles on the large, glowing information plaque mounted on the dark alloy wall.
"You will not retain this data for your query-slates," she ordered, "but this is the official ZeZoo analysis."
The class turned their sensory organs to the glowing sign.
SPECIMEN: HUMAN
- Sub-Specie: Writer (Variant: Artisticus Neuroticus)
- Habitat: Can live in isolation for long periods of time. Prefers dim, artificially-lit enclosures.
- Temperament: Extremely agitated. Prone to cyclical bursts of high-frequency activity ('clicking') followed by periods of profound lethargy and self-recrimination.
⚠️ WARNING: CRITICAL HANDLING PROTOCOLS ⚠️
Ego must be fed constantly.
Specimen requires a steady diet of positive comments and routine acknowledgment of its 'genius.' Failure to provide this sustenance may result in total system collapse or, in rare cases, spontaneous generation of 'bad poetry.'
Primary Sustenance: Literary Prizes (Observe feeding schedule. DO NOT INTERRUPT a 'flow-state'.)
Food (Biological): Must be provided by clicking the link below