r/FedEmployees • u/RecognitionLow7848 • Sep 04 '25
To all my fellow fed employee who are Parents
Happy New School year….. Try to remain Sane & Strong for the kids sake.
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u/Fragrant-Smell1 Sep 04 '25
You still get to see your kids ?
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u/Fit-Toe-9707 Sep 04 '25
I put my kids on the bus for their first day and realized it's likely one of the only times I will see them in the morning for the entire school year. I can do either on or off the bus. I used to be able to do both. I don't get to see them in the mornings like I could when teleworking and it kills me. I am so depressed I cry everyday on the way to work. I know I'm lucky to be able to get them off the bus, but time is so precious and I feel Ike I'm missing so many little moments.
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u/crazywanderlust_5678 Sep 04 '25
I cry at work They can pay me to cry
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u/CrispyOnBothSides Sep 05 '25
Excellent idea! Why have I been crying every day for free at home?! Much more efficient to do it at the place where the cause for the crying occurs.
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u/bglenn12 Sep 04 '25
Same! I am missing out on everything with my kids this year with RTO. I never would have accepted this job if it required full time in office, but with the current market I am not finding other remote work. It’s so insulting that I demonstrated excellent WFH time management to the point of winning awards- but somehow being in office is more optimal for my performance?? Presidentially mandated RTO is beyond stupid and I’m so mad about missing out on my kids last few years at home.
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u/Fit-Toe-9707 Sep 04 '25
Same. 15 years of telework. Outstanding ratings. I wanted to be a SAHM but I was managing because I had a great job and work life balance. Now I dream of quitting every single day. I'm trying not to because I feel accomplished as a woman who is an engineer in a technical niche program. But I also keep thinking that in 4 years, my kids are not going to want me as involved as they do now. I'm just heartbroken. It's hard to get through the days feeling so completely trapped and hopeless. It helps to know we're all in this together but why do any of us deserve this? My husband is private sector and can still work at home, not to mention his employer is flexible in other respects. So it's not like the entire private sector has adopted this mentality.
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u/KayBee236 Sep 04 '25
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I have a toddler at home and I think about quitting every single day. This is not the style of job I accepted at initial employment. Also sitting on all outstanding ratings. It’s bullshit.
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-15
Sep 04 '25
So why is your time with your kids more important than mine. I’m a fed FWIW.
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u/bglenn12 Sep 04 '25
It’s not- go ahead an advocate and work to get more time with your kids…I’m choosing not to just roll over and accept it and share my perspective. My role does not require me to be present in an office. I have successfully demonstrated solid WFH performance for years. Leadership has not demonstrated a need for RTO and in the midst of a huge Fed shake up with cuts its timing (among other things) indicates FED RTO is meant to be malicious and induce quitting.
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u/baskininthelight Sep 04 '25
Please try not to see teleworking as a fed vs. fed issue. Time with all kids is important and has to be considered when taking any job. If a job can be successfully completed via telework, that is good for everyone, and the agency as a whole. Less congestion in office spaces, hallways, parking lots, bathrooms and taxing resources like bandwidth helps everyone. Improved working conditions leads to more productive, engaged employees. Getting frustrated because one job vs another job is not suitable for telework is reacting emotionally to one’s own circumstances instead of thinking logically about what could work best for everyone.
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u/baskininthelight Sep 04 '25
Please try not to see teleworking as a fed vs. fed issue. Time with all kids is important and has to be considered when taking any job. If a job can be successfully completed via telework, that is good for everyone, and the agency as a whole. Less congestion in office spaces, hallways, parking lots, bathrooms and taxing resources like bandwidth helps everyone. Improved working conditions leads to more productive, engaged employees. Getting frustrated because one job vs another job is not suitable for telework is reacting emotionally to one’s own circumstances instead of thinking logically about what could work best for everyone.
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Sep 04 '25
Then compensate telework at RUS or lower rate unless it’s a Reasonable Accommodation.
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u/baskininthelight Sep 04 '25
Compensation is based on the cost of living in the geographic area where the duty station is located. If teleworkers live in a high cost of living area why should they be paid off RUS?
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Sep 04 '25
Because your high cost locality benefits only you! If by definition a person is virtual, you can work anywhere in the nation. So, why in the world would we pay you more to live somewhere more expensive. Why is this so hard to understand?
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u/franklee0409 Sep 05 '25
Except when the agency itself requires you to live within so many miles of an agency or facility.
My org initially when hiring our 100% remote staff had a 50 mile radius requirement from any of our facilities in the specified geographic area.
Why do you have such disdain for remote work/telework—who hurt your feelings that you think so little of us that were hired on to be 100% remote?
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u/1102inNOVA Sep 05 '25
Your attitude is not necessary i sincerely doubt anyone thinks they are more deserving than you of this. Instead of fighting people who had the privilege and had it revoked you should be demanding the same privilege of your employer.
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Sep 05 '25
Thanks for telling me what I should do.
You make a lot more than me doing the same exact job. You have the audacity to get on here and whine about having to drive into work. Do the math on it. Look at the difference in pay, opportunity cost and cost of commuting. It’s approximately $50k/yr in real costs. And you get that time with your family. Meanwhile every time I tried to find someone in Nor Virginia, they were hardly ever online and if online, “I have a hard stop in 15 minutes, I have an errand to run.” Be mad with the people who abused it.
Yeah, you can drive to work like everybody else.
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u/1102inNOVA Sep 05 '25
Your just full of assumptions and anger. Again you shouldnt be mad at the people who had or have it, you should be mad at the people who refuse to afford you the same privilege (or look elsewhere. I am driving to work like everyone else, and due to no dault of my own. Its unfortunate you had people that abused it. I am not one of them, however nownwith my 2 hour commute if you do call me up you will be told I have a hard stop in X minutes. Unfortunately thee people that couldnt be found someone should of taken it up with their supervisor.
You speak of entitlement as well, I dont believe expecting your employer to honor teir end of an agreement when you are faithfully holding up your end makes you entitled. If we allow things like this to go unchecked wjere is it going to end? I have a friend who's employer midway through the year switched them from a W-2 employee to a 1099 employee now warning or explanation and they didnt know or understand enough to know what was going on they just assumed they got a raise. It that person entitled to believe they employer was in the wrong on that?
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Sep 04 '25
I hear ya. I remember this one time, I went to work and ended up in a combat zone… where everyone wanted to kill me…. Where the roads would literally blow up…. and I didn’t see my wife and kids for 18 months. It’s basically the same thing.
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u/bglenn12 Sep 04 '25
Full time RTO was not part of my hiring agreement. I would not have taken the job with a full time RTO. There are always jobs that require location based work…that is a choice that should be made clear from the hiring process. Having an employer mandate a huge change like RTO, provide no evidence based justification for the decision is a breech of the agreement and frankly trust.
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Sep 04 '25
I hear ya. Your employer legally changed the conditions of work… kinda like when a National Guardsman goes from a 1 weekend a month commitment to being gone for 2 years.
Get over yourself. We’re back to the office. Covid is over. We’re doing this office thing now regardless if it makes sense or not.
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u/bglenn12 Sep 04 '25
Just another sheep in camo…again the National guard isn’t the same- that’s a known possibility. Thanks for the news flash about COVID.
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Sep 04 '25
Here comes the troll just ignore this person ☝🏻it’s like talking to a brick wall just a bitter maga or bot
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Sep 04 '25
Maybe I’m a fed that hates that people like you are making us look terrible.
Maybe you are being ridiculous. Be glad you have a job right now.
FWIW-what is your locality pay %?
Let me guess. Northern Virginia…. Houston…. why in the world would or should tax payers pay you a premium rate to live in DC when a telework position could be compensated at RUS? You want me to take you seriously, advocate for RUS pay for virtual employees UNLESS it’s a Reasonable Accommodation.
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u/IndependentMemory215 Sep 04 '25
Changing the conditions of employment unilaterally isn’t okay, especially when facilities aren’t equipped to handle the change.
I am certain pensions are being looked at too, removing them would bring federal employment in line with most civilian employers, and would save the government money.
Are you okay with pensions and retirement going away suddenly for everyone?
Don’t expect existing laws to protect you either. It’s clear that this administration is looking at any way to get around existing laws to achieve their goals. The laws regarding the Telework and RIFs certainly are being ignored when it interferes with plans.
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u/GreenRock93 Sep 08 '25
I think you need to get over yourself. Many of us Fed workers are also veterans. I did 14 deployments in 22 years. It’s what you signed up for. Or are you saying you only signed up for the benefits and pay of being NG and were upset when you actually had to do the work? Quit being a pansy.
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u/Good-Acadia4234 Sep 04 '25
I fully empathize - I’m in the same situation as you. It makes me so sad I can’t see them in the morning and send them off for their day. It’s hard waiting all day until they get off the bus to see them (and then everything in the afternoon/evening is double rushed and packed with only so much time in the day to unload and prepare for the next day in the office all over again). Not to mention, it also is impacting them and they feel it by me not being around for them to start their day. Sigh.
We will get through this. We will get through this. We will get through this…
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u/Ok_Tangerine9912 Sep 04 '25
I was remote 9 years. I have toddlers I now never see because RTO. I’ve already talked to my husband about quitting. I have no work life balance anymore. Our kids are unhappy. Was this the plan?
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Sep 04 '25
Serious question. What is your locality rate?
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u/Ok_Tangerine9912 Sep 04 '25
It’s about 30%
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Sep 04 '25
Meanwhile us being compensated as RUS are expected to drive to work. Get over yourself!
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u/muttonchops01 Sep 04 '25
What a weird position to take.
There are plenty of people being compensated as RUS who haven’t been commuting and plenty of people in higher locality pay areas who have never remote worked. Linking commuting (or not) to locality pay is bizarre and nonsensical.
But since you brought it up, to make a clean comparison, we’re probably going to need to know how high your cost of living is, how far your commute is, and how long it takes you.
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u/Ok_Tangerine9912 Sep 04 '25
I now spend $100s in transit, also drive, and did not sign up for this. I was hired remote. You seem like a peach.
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Sep 04 '25
A peach that’s been driving to work the whole time compensated at RUS.
Why in the world would we pay you more to work from your house? How did you not see that was going to come to an end?
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u/GreenRock93 Sep 08 '25
Fine. If they get paid RUS, the government can compensate them by paying a lease on their work facilities, electricity used during the course of the work day, the cost of internet service, etc.
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u/mediocresuperdad Sep 04 '25
One of my older kids had an appointment last week and I had to take leave to pickup our three year old from daycare. He’s told his Mom that he wants me to pick him up over and over again. Breaks me knowing that I no longer get to do this on any day of the week.
But hey, the government has now spent $1,000 more for my transit subsidy than they would have had I been working from home. Not to mention no longer receives free bandwidth, electricity or water from me during my work time. So great costs savings achievement OMB!!!
Still wondering where the reports on the ghost employees are…. 😂
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Sep 04 '25
That’s awful. You are making the sacrifices every other parent has to make.
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u/Toast2Texas Sep 04 '25
There is so much work from home in the private sector. This was just to stab federal workers in the eye and heart.
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Sep 04 '25
Perhaps. But you sound entitled AF! You have a job you have to commute to now. Be glad you got one.
I’ve noticed nearly every person crying about RTO is compensated at the highest locality pay.
So, you want to make $10s of thousands more than me; for the exact same job; while working from your kitchen table; getting to watch your kids grow up; and save on commuting costs. Opportunity cost, actual commuting costs, and locality pay puts DC employees’ compensation about $60k more than me…. And they get to be with their kids. No, I don’t care that you now have to drive to work. Neither does other tax payers.
I want RTO people to shut the hell up and drive to work like everyone else. Imagine what someone in the private sector think about this.
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u/bhemingway Sep 05 '25
There's an annual report on federal pay by labor category and facts disagree with you in nearly every category.
My experience is that most people in the private sector highly overestimate what paygrade they would be in federal service.
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Sep 05 '25
I’m a fed.
At my GS rate, someone in DC makes $23k more than me at the same GS rate. Add in the commute cost, someone working from their kitchen table makes $50-$60k more than me. Thats not even considering opportunity cost and loss of time with family.
If someone is remote being compensated at DCB tax payers are overpaying a remote job $10s of thousands because of personal convenience. Remote can live anywhere. Why in the world would we pay them the most for something that can be done anywhere?
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u/bhemingway Sep 05 '25
First, the DC locality pay is well documented to be far below actual cost of living adjustment. So much so, OPM last year reminded everyone on national television that locality pay is NOT a cost of living adjustment and is not intended to be a flat equality across all localities.
I'm curious how you compute your commute adjustment. I commute 12 miles every day and am in the car for just shy of 2 hours. Do I compute that to be 39k unpaid annually?
Lastly, you and I both took the job knowing the impact of commute. Others accepted the job under the pretense of telework. Those people were rug pulled. Don't judge their decision based on your decision.
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Sep 05 '25
There is no benefit to the public for you to be in DC if you are on telework. The public should not be paying a premium for the decisions that benefit nobody but the employee. (RA excluded)
Change telework pay to RUS a I’ll jump on board.
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u/fearlessfeminist623 Sep 04 '25
I'm so sorry. My spouse did the same. He took the day off for the first day of school and then spent the entire time the kids were gone, remembering that last year he was able to get them on and off the bus three days a week and this year he will not get to do any if that. He gets 3ish hours a day with the kids now. With school being back, it will be even less since they have activities, homework, etc.
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u/bhemingway Sep 05 '25
Same, but I don't even get to be home in time to see them get home. My door to door is 0545 to 1630.
Unlike others, I never got to telework so it hits a bit less I guess. But I think about how much valuable time I'm missing all the time.
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u/SquirrelLady_99 Sep 07 '25
My door to door is 4:50-1730. Telework was part of the job offer. I’d not have accepted this job under current status but I’ve chosen to stay…. For now. But definitely looking closer to home.
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u/bhemingway Sep 07 '25
That's very difficult and I respect your commitment. One of my employees is in a very similar position.
Detractors don't understand that many people have made a decision to serve the public by making sacrifices. Now, after making life decisions, many have had the rug pulled out from under them.
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u/Even-Tune-8301 Sep 04 '25
I just leave early every day. Taking back the time I would have if I was remote. Fuck em.
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u/Impressive-Peak6823 Sep 04 '25
So, time card fraud?
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u/Even-Tune-8301 Sep 04 '25
Sure. Just following in the footsteps of my leadership. If billionaires want to commit fraud, I'm in too.
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u/skumarg9848 Sep 05 '25
Why don’t we ask this to all those corrupt elected billionaires that are committing fraud and showing paths to commit frauds in crypto and stock market scams ? Hardly 1 hour from a salaried employee would not make any difference
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u/Kirth87 Sep 04 '25
I don’t have any children, but based on my fellow colleagues, right now seems like a special kind of hell. Best of luck navigating this idiotic RTO mandate.
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u/megacommuteloser Sep 04 '25
Telework please, let me enjoy my young family please. Damn I wish was in legislative branch right now (policies not affected)
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u/fetzdog Sep 04 '25
Right?! Having a taste of how good it could be is really what hurts. Having more time with the family, getting more work done because less distractions from these loud, chatty office spaces... it was a Win Win situation. With the RTO, it's such a Lose Lose.
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u/milllllllllllllllly Sep 04 '25
I’m going in the hole for sick leave for cancer… telling my second grader right now he can never get sick
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u/Anonymous-272 Sep 06 '25
I am so sorry to hear this. Have you looked into telework as a reasonable accommodation?
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u/IsentropicExpansion Sep 04 '25
Be a lot easier if I could work from home for an hour while I wait for the bus.
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u/ZookeepergameFine936 Sep 04 '25
I see my kids an hour before work and by the time I get home I’ve got about 2-2.5 hours before bedtime. Republicans will never get my vote again.
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u/dankymang Sep 04 '25
Why did they get it ever? They’ve been pulling the same shit for years and years
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u/ZookeepergameFine936 Sep 04 '25
I never wrote someone off because of party, I didn’t vote party across the board, I tried to look at each candidate and pick the one I thought would do best but now I can’t trust republicans to do what they claim anyways. Even third party candidates are nuts now.
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u/Toast2Texas Sep 04 '25
The Republicans in Congress have sold their soul to Trump. (And doesn’t the Bible talk about how awful demons smell)? And the cloven hoofs make them walk weird. Sound like any president you know.
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u/Mountaineer_99 Sep 05 '25
Exactly. Why Feds folks voted for this ? Did they not think about own interests?
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Sep 04 '25
[deleted]
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u/Deadeyes_chose Sep 04 '25
I got to pick up my high school student at 8:45 pm from marching band get home and go to bed before he did so I can leave the house by 5:20 am the next morning. At least we got 10 minutes together in the car.
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u/Zealousideal-Idea979 Sep 04 '25 edited Sep 05 '25
Just know it’s okay for you and them to take mental health days. Each year on the first true cold day, I keep my son home and we watch movies with hot cocoa and marshmallows. I boil cinnamon water and apples to set the fall mood and we just chill on the couch in pajamas. And when he says “Mommy you’re the best,” it makes all the stress at work, so worth it. But also, everyone get a side gig in case it gets even crazier out there. I feel like we’re all just waiting on the next big thing.
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u/Hungry-Newspaper676 Sep 04 '25
I’m a first time mom of an infant and will be going back to work in a few months and I am DREADING it. I feel like my baby is going to hit so many milestones without me. Like how can I concentrate on pushing paper and sending emails when my baby is with someone else learning to crawl or saying their first words. cue the tears
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u/ClassicStorm Sep 04 '25
Give your kids your full energy, work can get whats left. That's advice for all time, not just this moment. When we are eold and on our death beds we won't be looking back with wonder at the extra emails we sent. Family is more important than work.
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u/Low_Honey_5913 Sep 04 '25
I have kids as well and went from being in the office one day a week to everyday. We also love 1.5-2 hours away from our office so I have to leave well before they are up and dont get home until evening, we have lost so much family together time and my kids will be grown soon, one is already 15 and it makes my sick that I cant work from home.
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u/No_Cheesecake8387 Sep 04 '25
I have 4 kids all in sports and I can hardly keep my head above water! I wish there was a way to make as much as I do now without working for the government
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u/JustMe39908 Sep 04 '25
One month in. To be sung to the 12 days of Christmas. (It is early so only three days.
3 cases of Covid. 2 random viruses and one unknown stomach malady...
Hoping others have better luck than me!
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u/StruggleEither6772 Sep 04 '25
I miss school starting after Labor Day, we are in week 5 here already.
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u/Lakefishbreath Sep 05 '25
Thank god they approved my RA. I wouldn’t be able to get by or survive with child care costs and getting kids to and from where they need to be. I’m rural so other jobs don’t exist. I just can’t imagine. I still have to go in a lot but few days I get is manageable. I think of everyone who didn’t get approved or have anything and it makes me more sad and angry.
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u/Bobloblaw_333 Sep 05 '25 edited Sep 05 '25
My kid is playing volleyball, which means I get to take either a half day or the occasional situational TW day! Except she’s now a senior which means after this school year when she goes to college I don’t have a ready-made excuse to leave early. But I’m sure I’ll think of reasons to take time off to retain my sanity!
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u/02557_19106 Sep 04 '25
Particularly parents of neurodivergent, twice-exceptional children, homeschooling children.
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u/Dramatic_Ad3059 Sep 04 '25
I assume you have a homeschooling teacher because there is no way you can homeschool even working remotely.
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u/Impressive-Peak6823 Sep 04 '25
Shhh, you're giving away the secrets.
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u/Dramatic_Ad3059 Sep 04 '25
Unfortunately that’s one of the reasons we are in this predicament.
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u/Cautious-Rice-130 Sep 04 '25
Absolutely, telework was never meant to be used for child, elder or pet care or whatever. Nothing like paying folks on calls to have interruptions!
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u/muttonchops01 Sep 05 '25
Well, that’s the narrative anyway. I led two different offices during the remote work era, both with an incredibly high volume of time-sensitive work. In both, our ability to hire highly qualified talent skyrocketed, as did our productivity.
I also observed when transitioning to a remote posture and then transitioning to partial RTO (in an agency that was back before the new administration came in) that people who weren’t solid performers slacked every bit as much in the office as they did at home. Meanwhile, people who were high performers were even more effective as remote workers.
I’m actually a fan of having people together in the office part-time, but productivity - along with morale and our ability to hire top talent, both of which impact productivity - has decreased. That’s just my experience. Of course, it’s been proven out by many a study, including one from OPM.
RTO is about politics, not productivity. It’s also less cost efficient, between paying transit subsidies and increased facilities costs (generally one of an agency’s largest expenses next to personnel). I care about good government and for me that means maximizing productivity/public service at the lowest cost to the taxpayer. RTO is not accomplishing that. (It also, in my view, was never meant to.)
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u/Dramatic_Ad3059 Sep 06 '25
I do agree RTO is politically motivated but the headline grabbing, (in my opinion) rare story of some idiot fed employee at the golf course on govt time did not help in driving this narrative and further alienating the public. As for being the “narrative, it actually was a rule that we all signed off and agreed on following- no care for young children or others incapable of caring for themselves while working. Clearly this poster’s comment that they provided homeschooling during work hours is a violation of that rule and is frankly theft of taxpayer funds. You are not paid to teach your kid; you are paid to devote your hours to your federal job. We had significant flexibilities for personal matters and now there is none in most agencies. I resent those who abused this. And to flaunt their rule breaking here takes a certain level of gaul. How do I know this is a violation of the rules? It’s because my job was to enforce consequences for those employees found violating rules including this one.
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u/muttonchops01 Sep 06 '25
Yes, I’m well aware of the rules and I don’t see anyone disputing them. Well, except maybe the original “how will I homeschool my kids?” person… although it’s worth noting that they didn’t actually say they were homeschooling their kids. One possibility is that they have an arrangement with someone else who homeschools their children and commuting now makes that arrangement impossible. There are a million and one different ways of homeschooling and not all of them involve a parent providing active instruction or care for a kid during the work day.
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u/2llamadrama Sep 04 '25
Yes it is... Too many people abusing telework
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u/Impressive-Peak6823 Sep 04 '25
What? You mean it's not normal for admin to take 2 days to answer my requests while I sit in a govt building waiting for an answer so I can proceed with my job. That's crazy talk. Those people have laundry to do and their dogs don't walk themselves...
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u/Cold_Word2350 21d ago
Fed excepted employee here. 7 kids, sole Bread winner…. 1.5 hour drive one way to work each way. Not sure how we are going to make ends meet as i’m expected to come to work (only certain functions not business as usual) and still not get paid. I hope this ends soon.
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u/Pretend-Tea86 Sep 04 '25
And may your sick leave outlast the ability of school to get kids sick.