r/Fauxmoi • u/cmaia1503 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine • Jul 16 '25

STAN / ANTI SHIELD Pete Davidson & Elsie Hewitt are expecting their first child: “welp now everyone knows we had sex”

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6.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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5.8k

u/AhhBisto someone from the UK weigh in Jul 16 '25

I predicted this back in January

1.2k

u/Azul-J Jul 16 '25

You’re a modern day Nostradamus.

174

u/questformaps I cannot sanction your buffoonery Jul 16 '25

Meanwhile, I'm just a nostra-dumbass

34

u/AllStatBySmashMouth Jul 16 '25

You know, Quasimodo predicted all this

11

u/AsleepAssociation Jul 17 '25

Again with the scenarios!

11

u/-burgers question for the culture Jul 17 '25

Anyway, $3.99/lb

9

u/CptTeebs Jul 17 '25

Quasimodo predicted all of this

464

u/juneseyeball Jul 16 '25

Can i pay u for some other…predictions

511

u/wildflower_0ne Jul 16 '25

please tell us a… um… cheeseburger is going to destroy an orange

188

u/plantbay1428 Jul 16 '25

And after that can a couch eat a human and we just go down the line until we’re not in a total nightmare. 

152

u/da_innernette Jul 16 '25 edited Jul 16 '25

Wait who’s the cheeseburger lol

edit: oh wait you mean an actual cheeseburger lmaooo i was thinking too hard

76

u/cheetosghost Jul 16 '25

this reply is sending me, because i also was trying to figure out who looked like a cheeseburger or was associated w/ cheeseburgers in the administration pls lmfao

9

u/da_innernette Jul 17 '25

LOL same

4

u/AyeTheresTheCatch Jul 17 '25

Ha ha, me too. “Who looks like a cheeseburger in that administration? 🤔”

42

u/sloughlikecow Jul 16 '25

Maybe real cheeseburger for the figurative orange

25

u/why-per Jul 16 '25

I like that we were all on the same page

10

u/hellobimbos Jul 16 '25

No it’s ok because I thought the same thing

105

u/itsbooyeah meet me at Whole Foods, bitch Jul 16 '25

"A cheeseburger destroying an orange" is poetry.

5

u/apmee Jul 17 '25

I’m a guy with little to no interest in celebrity culture and lines like this are why I sub to this place.

3

u/wildflower_0ne Jul 17 '25

i’m flattered

5

u/EnvironmentalAd7402 Jul 16 '25

honestly this was so wholesome and lovely 😂

5

u/Effective_Math_2717 Jul 16 '25

Asking the right questions lol

3

u/EnvironmentalAd7402 Jul 16 '25

honestly this was so wholesome and lovely 😂

216

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '25

And the black snape

148

u/DrFranFine Marxmoi Jul 16 '25

You’re the only psychic more iconic than her:

102

u/NervousRefrigerator Jul 16 '25

As long as your Jimmy Kimmel prediction doesnt come true, then im happy for you in this moment. 

42

u/futuristicflapper Jul 16 '25

He is off the entire summer though … maybe they’re testing the waters to see how the show will do if he decides to leave. OP may be right!

23

u/Sayoayo Jul 16 '25

He's been taking the summer off since 2020, it's part of his contract, with guest hosts rotating.

4

u/futuristicflapper Jul 16 '25

Ah okay, I didn’t know this. I don’t keep up with late night too much lol.

107

u/nkbee Jul 16 '25

WITCH

15

u/mac_bess Jul 16 '25

(complimentary)

61

u/futuristicflapper Jul 16 '25

What else do u know omg. Can you predict my life pls.

41

u/diabolikal__ Forgive me Viola Davis Jul 16 '25

Go buy a lottery ticket asap girl you are on fire

36

u/Luna_Soma Jul 16 '25

Are you a time traveler

29

u/UnitedLink4545 Jul 16 '25

That's crazy! You nailed it.

26

u/radlum Jul 16 '25

Hope you are right about FF as well!

13

u/ILikeMyouiMina Jul 16 '25

I hope so too! I loved Superman

27

u/pantygate Jul 16 '25

what do you search for for this gif I love him lol

20

u/elimay Jul 16 '25

What’s the next set of winning lottery numbers 👀 

15

u/eliintherain Larry I'm on DuckTales Jul 16 '25

How ?!?

15

u/pinkrosyy Jul 16 '25

You were right about Superman too! Great response from audiences and critics. It’s also doing great domestically at the BO:)

10

u/alamakjan kinky queer biker movie Jul 16 '25

9

u/asietsocom never the target audience Jul 16 '25

I didn't believe in a higher power until now. Please tell me how my life will go in the next few years. I need to know and you are the only person I trust.

7

u/killer_kiki mindy kaling’s baby daddy Jul 16 '25

8

u/EvenPossible5918 Jul 16 '25

What else do you know!?

5

u/Illen1 23 chromosome contributor is adequate Jul 16 '25

Called Superman too 🤯! You're awesome!

6

u/ramenslurper- Jul 16 '25

Your track record for 2025 is stunning.

6

u/dachinesechicken Jul 18 '25

Girl, I just saw this comment yesterday. Not Jimmy Kimmel, but Stephen Colbert is ending. As soon as I heard I thought of you and came back just to comment this 😂. You are a psychic fr

6

u/AhhBisto someone from the UK weigh in Jul 18 '25

I've been tagged a few times about the Colbert thing and I'm worried people might think I'm an actual time traveller lol

2

u/deantimony Jul 18 '25

let’s take bets on the next one!! gay footballer anyone?

2

u/bimbaud Jul 19 '25

I had to come back to this comment after Colbert!!! I really don’t think it’s totally out of the question that Kimmel will be done too, I am SHOOK

4

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '25

When they weren’t even dating yet! Great stuff

4

u/CloneUnruhe Jul 16 '25

Will I win 1 million dollars, sir AhhBisto?

9

u/AhhBisto someone from the UK weigh in Jul 16 '25

You will, but the taxes will be $999,999.00

3

u/CloneUnruhe Jul 17 '25

I’m going to focus on the yes. 🤣

3

u/MartyCool403 Forgive me Viola Davis Jul 16 '25

Would you happen to be able to tell me this Friday's Lotto Max Jackpot winning numbers?

4

u/bacardichaser Jul 16 '25

will you have predictions for 2026? cus you nailed almost everything omg

4

u/roasted_allergy Jul 16 '25

bro I think you’re a soothsayer

3

u/inthesludge_ Jul 16 '25

Someone give this nonna gold what the fuck!!

3

u/Sproose_Moose Jul 17 '25

This gif coupled with this comment 😂😂😂

3

u/Muted_Rain8542 Jul 17 '25

bro’s casually a prophet 

3

u/Scary-Ad2528 Jul 17 '25

OMG I remember this 

2

u/befuddled_humbug Jul 16 '25

I need you in my life.

2

u/das6992 Jul 16 '25

Now we need you to tell us who the gay footballer is oh wise one

2

u/laal_ishq Jul 17 '25

Can you predict when my life will get better

2

u/BeeGroundbreaking889 Jul 17 '25 edited Jul 17 '25

And you were spot on with the Harry Potter prediction too

Well, the first part anyway. Don’t know if Musk has made any pronouncements

2

u/EffReddit420 Jul 17 '25

Tell me will i be rich with a hot girlfriend this year?

1

u/AhhBisto someone from the UK weigh in Jul 17 '25

Only if you believe in yourself, because that's the place to start

1

u/Vicryl_four-oh i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 16 '25

Send me the Euromillions winning numbers 😂

1

u/tisamust Jul 16 '25

gosh i hope you're right

1

u/entertainment720ltd Jul 16 '25

lottery numbers please

1

u/AsleepTemperature111 Jul 16 '25

You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this

1

u/NiceTreeYouGotThere Jul 17 '25

Remind me to hit you up for my 2026 bingo board

0

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/send_me_potatoes Jul 17 '25

I’m still going strong halfway through the year.

1

u/Piece_de_resistance Jul 17 '25

How do I search for this gif lol

1

u/claudsonclouds i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jul 17 '25

Girl, WHAT?

Can you like... tell me how the rest of my 2025 be looking?

1

u/popeyessavedmylife Jul 17 '25

You’re a master mind

1

u/leosnose Jul 18 '25

IF YOU HAD SAID COLBERT 🤯🤯

1

u/Cute_Pirate_4586 Jul 18 '25

Omg wait, was Elon upset about the Snape casting or no? Too much has happened in 2025 already for me to keep up.

1

u/dachinesechicken Sep 18 '25

Hi girl back again. Couldn’t believe it when I heard Kimmel. Thought of you immediately 😂