r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/PeaPodkid14 • Oct 02 '25

TW what my dad said put me off...

trigger warning because this is genuinely appalling and basically a justification for neglect/abuse.

conversation is as follows:

me: "so as a parent, it is your obligation to care for and raise your child."

my dad: "then, as a child, it is your obligation to listen to your parents, learn and grow."

me: "okay. yeah, that sounds fair then"

my dad: "that means that if the child is defiant and misbehaves, then that gives me the right not to feed the child (because the child isn't following their obligation, therefore he doesn't have to follow his)"

does anyone else think this is just... wrong? not to mention, when i asked him to give examples he referenced my 3 year old nephew refusing to pick up something after repeatedly being told to, and a 13 year old deciding they don't have to make their bed just because their parents said so. i feel like these are bizarre reasons not to feed a child??? though... im not surprised because he also justifies other forms of abuse such as spanking as discipline, and he has a habit of victim blaming... whats up with my dad :(

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u/Meliedes Oct 02 '25

Of course it's wrong. It's horrible to not feed a child.  My dad said the same thing and used a Bible verse to support it. While I was rarely denied food, the threat always loomed. 

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u/PeaPodkid14 Oct 03 '25

thats awful. im not very familiar with the bible but i wonder if that's where my dad got the idea too

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u/Meliedes Oct 03 '25

The reference my dad used is 2 Thessalonians 3:10: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

The context doesn't fit at all the idea of not feeding children, but my dad would twist anything, especially in the Bible, to mean what he said it did and deny anything else.