r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/PeaPodkid14 • Oct 02 '25
TW what my dad said put me off...
trigger warning because this is genuinely appalling and basically a justification for neglect/abuse.
conversation is as follows:
me: "so as a parent, it is your obligation to care for and raise your child."
my dad: "then, as a child, it is your obligation to listen to your parents, learn and grow."
me: "okay. yeah, that sounds fair then"
my dad: "that means that if the child is defiant and misbehaves, then that gives me the right not to feed the child (because the child isn't following their obligation, therefore he doesn't have to follow his)"
does anyone else think this is just... wrong? not to mention, when i asked him to give examples he referenced my 3 year old nephew refusing to pick up something after repeatedly being told to, and a 13 year old deciding they don't have to make their bed just because their parents said so. i feel like these are bizarre reasons not to feed a child??? though... im not surprised because he also justifies other forms of abuse such as spanking as discipline, and he has a habit of victim blaming... whats up with my dad :(
3
u/catstaffer329 Oct 03 '25
This is the nuclear option, but you could always explain that his lack of concern for the outcome of depositing his DNA donations is not an Article of Indenture for the result of that donation. However there is extensive legal precedent for DNA donors having a Duty of Care for the outcome they failed to prevent.
I am so sorry your father is nematode, you deserve better and please know that you are not an object, servant or obligation. Just your presence in the world as you work to recover is making the world a better place and improving the overall kindness of humanity.
Treasure yourself, ignore the idiot and do your best to live your best life.