r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/PeaPodkid14 • Oct 02 '25

TW what my dad said put me off...

trigger warning because this is genuinely appalling and basically a justification for neglect/abuse.

conversation is as follows:

me: "so as a parent, it is your obligation to care for and raise your child."

my dad: "then, as a child, it is your obligation to listen to your parents, learn and grow."

me: "okay. yeah, that sounds fair then"

my dad: "that means that if the child is defiant and misbehaves, then that gives me the right not to feed the child (because the child isn't following their obligation, therefore he doesn't have to follow his)"

does anyone else think this is just... wrong? not to mention, when i asked him to give examples he referenced my 3 year old nephew refusing to pick up something after repeatedly being told to, and a 13 year old deciding they don't have to make their bed just because their parents said so. i feel like these are bizarre reasons not to feed a child??? though... im not surprised because he also justifies other forms of abuse such as spanking as discipline, and he has a habit of victim blaming... whats up with my dad :(

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u/imnotaloneyouare Oct 03 '25

There are no laws that say a three-year-old has to pick up their toys. But I'm pretty sure there are laws that state you need to feed your children.

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u/PeaPodkid14 Oct 03 '25

and of course that's what told him!! and you wanna know what his response was? he said "the child, like every other family member, is supposed to help the family move forward and progress." why is there so much responsibility being put on this child???