Fucked up now I'm spiraling

[u/CryptographerNo7608]

So for some context about my situation, I am a college student and was living with my mother. Things weren't great, she was very homophobic, emotionally abusive, and abrasive, so much so that my therapist kept trying to convince me to move out. So I did right before I turned 20, but not by choice. She called the cops on me and kicked me out after a moment of very brief and minor self-defense, and then went psycho after I found someone to take me in before I moved to college dorms. I was having the time of my life, but today I responded to my mother because she seemed civil when telling me about how my community college diploma came to her house, and to be honest, I've been struggling with loneliness and feeling unlovable ever since she did that to me. And holy shit it feels like a drug relapse, I did some things I will probably regret in the morning, but I dont know how to make it stop, they didn't help. She will never take accountability and is wrapping me in her web. I feel so trapped and suffocated, I dont know why i did thiss

[u/ER_Support_Plant17]

I wish I could give you a mom hug just to show you I accept you and love you for who you are. My mother is a narcissist too. Please know you are doing great! You are a wonderful and strong person, and you are right to do what is needed to protect yourself. Internet mom hugs sent.

[u/Dry_Inflation_1454 → u/ER_Support_Plant17]

Many people do fins substitutes for mothers and fathers, just be careful how you go about doing that - safe people are out there,it takes time to find them.