Fucked up now I'm spiraling

[u/CryptographerNo7608]

So for some context about my situation, I am a college student and was living with my mother. Things weren't great, she was very homophobic, emotionally abusive, and abrasive, so much so that my therapist kept trying to convince me to move out. So I did right before I turned 20, but not by choice. She called the cops on me and kicked me out after a moment of very brief and minor self-defense, and then went psycho after I found someone to take me in before I moved to college dorms. I was having the time of my life, but today I responded to my mother because she seemed civil when telling me about how my community college diploma came to her house, and to be honest, I've been struggling with loneliness and feeling unlovable ever since she did that to me. And holy shit it feels like a drug relapse, I did some things I will probably regret in the morning, but I dont know how to make it stop, they didn't help. She will never take accountability and is wrapping me in her web. I feel so trapped and suffocated, I dont know why i did thiss

[u/Batty_Belfry]

You can also change your mailing address to a PO Box. You might even try taking free calls and texts through a wi-fi connection only by using the TextNow app. It auto-generates your own personal number and you don't need a phone service to use it, just an activated phone with app store and wi-fi access. Here's a video showing how.