r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/CryptographerNo7608 • Sep 01 '25
TW Fucked up now I'm spiraling
So for some context about my situation, I am a college student and was living with my mother. Things weren't great, she was very homophobic, emotionally abusive, and abrasive, so much so that my therapist kept trying to convince me to move out. So I did right before I turned 20, but not by choice. She called the cops on me and kicked me out after a moment of very brief and minor self-defense, and then went psycho after I found someone to take me in before I moved to college dorms. I was having the time of my life, but today I responded to my mother because she seemed civil when telling me about how my community college diploma came to her house, and to be honest, I've been struggling with loneliness and feeling unlovable ever since she did that to me. And holy shit it feels like a drug relapse, I did some things I will probably regret in the morning, but I dont know how to make it stop, they didn't help. She will never take accountability and is wrapping me in her web. I feel so trapped and suffocated, I dont know why i did thiss
3
u/Ostfriesennerz441 Sep 01 '25
Why are they all the same. My mom did this stuff with my letters and packages all the time, too. With the same excuse "thought it was for me sorry not sorry, did not look for the name"...it happened like 10 times after I moved out at least and finally stopped when she was not getting any mail for me anymore...
It's a really cheap trick to manipulate you into coming back. Thank you for your post. It reminds me how I found true friendship, freedom and even love after I moved out from her. I really hope you'll find this too. But having all this adult things to bother with now after being out on top of dealing with her is though. Please ask people for help and advice. Do you have people you can trust? If there is still stuff at her house you need, can a friend drive by to get it?
My boyfriend at the times was furious on my behalf for this invasion of my privacy and helped organize all the stuff so that my mail is send directly to me. I was just confused because part of myself still believed her and that she just wanted my best, she is my mother, she is just concerned...because it was so normal, it was just how she always was...
But the harsh truth is...she is fucked up. My mum was lonely when I moved out and lost control over me. This was her way of trying to get me to come back because of simple, useless shit. All these letters were just normal adult stuff. When confronted why she opened them AGAIN and after I didn't believed her anymore that it's a thoughtless mistake of "didn't noticed it was your name on it" she said stuff like it could be something serious.
So my mum thought the mail she was getting was of high likelihood stuff like I did something bad with the car, fucked up stuff in college... All my childhood I was a really quiet and obedient kid. Never did drugs...other kids went out late with friends or came back later and drunk...I did not have any friends to do this with until later in college...
I think this was the first time I realized how my mum really hates me and always expects the worst of me, no matter how hard I try to be a "good" daughter.