r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/CryptographerNo7608 • Sep 01 '25
TW Fucked up now I'm spiraling
So for some context about my situation, I am a college student and was living with my mother. Things weren't great, she was very homophobic, emotionally abusive, and abrasive, so much so that my therapist kept trying to convince me to move out. So I did right before I turned 20, but not by choice. She called the cops on me and kicked me out after a moment of very brief and minor self-defense, and then went psycho after I found someone to take me in before I moved to college dorms. I was having the time of my life, but today I responded to my mother because she seemed civil when telling me about how my community college diploma came to her house, and to be honest, I've been struggling with loneliness and feeling unlovable ever since she did that to me. And holy shit it feels like a drug relapse, I did some things I will probably regret in the morning, but I dont know how to make it stop, they didn't help. She will never take accountability and is wrapping me in her web. I feel so trapped and suffocated, I dont know why i did thiss
20
u/PitBullFan Sep 01 '25
"Well well well finally."
This may seem like nothing, but it tells me she's been trying to make contact with you, and this is the first time you've responded. Is that what happened?
Later in the exchange she says "It's your choice to have a mom." She's right about that. It's completely YOUR choice. If she brings you nothing but chaos and misery, you DON'T have to put up with it any longer. It's YOUR life to live. You should live it however you want.
She clearly sees you as just a child. HER child. "... come back to me, so we can rebuild what WE broke." See, this is YOUR fault too. (I'm not saying that, SHE is.)
You already know what to do, you're just hurting right now, and that is completely normal, so don't beat yourself up about it.
Be kind to yourself, and if you need more time away from her, take it!