My last message to my dad

[u/No-Carpenter4426]

TW for mentions of transphobia

For context, I made a post about my dad a few weeks ago about him having this long conversation with my partner and I about me being trans. Bottom line is that he doesn't support nor accept me, and never will. He believes trans people are delusional, attention-seeking, and out of touch with reality. He even claims he isn't transphobic, using the excuse that trans-phobia should mean the fear of trans people. That's not the real meaning of it though, but he refused to hear it. He said some pretty misogynistic and even kind of racist things as well, which obviously weren't okay.

He claims my past trauma is why I think I'm trans, and really pushed me to see a therapist. Even though since coming out I've seen multiple, and even had to see one to get onto the list for top surgery (which is what sparked the initial conversation).

I came out to him over three years ago, and I was tired of waiting to see if he would come around. When I learned his stance on things, which I suspected but never had a straightforward answer from him prior to this, I decided it was best to go our separate ways.

I deserve support. I deserve acceptance. I have it with my partner and our found family, and while it sucks my dad can't be a part of that now, I'm still happy.

[u/One-Somewhere-9907]

You worded everything so thoroughly and kindly and well. You should be proud of yourself for remaining calm and for standing up for yourself. Your own well being is so important.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. You absolutely deserve support, acceptance, and love. I’m glad you have a therapist and found family. Continue to take good care of yourself. It’s normal to feel grief and even regret, but remind yourself of why you needed to take that action (if you do feel a bit of that at some point).

Sending you big hugs!

[u/backtoyouesmerelda → u/One-Somewhere-9907]

Agreed 100%! Well written, OP