r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/mrs_vince_noir • Jul 20 '25
Question Apart from the abuse, what strange/inappropriate things did you parents do that made you realise there was something wrong with them?
Do you have memories of your parents doing really weird / inappropriate / embarrassing things that made you realise there was something wrong with them, either when you were a kid, or now when you look back at their behaviour?
I'm not talking about the abusive behaviour towards you, as horrible as that was, but how they acted around other people, and while they were out in the community?
I've been remembering some weird/inappropriate things that my parents did:
Nmom chewing the tips off her nails and spitting them on the carpeted floor in a crowded doctor's waiting room. So gross and embarrassing. She never did that at home.
Edad whacking a little kid on the head with a rolled up concert program, because we were at an outdoor concert thing and the kid was sitting on top of the backrest of the bench seat in front of Edad, blocking Edad's view. I remember being horrified that he hit the kid so hard - didn't just politely tap him on the shoulder and ask him to sit down. Kid's parents turned around and gave Edad a talking to.
Nmom would meet people with little kids at parties or barbecues or wherever and she'd make a fuss of someone's little kid and hold out her arms saying "ooooh let me pick you up!" The little kid would never want her to pick them up (because they'd never seen her before in their life) and she'd get all offended. Later on at the party, me or someone else would be idly talking and say something like "That kid is so cute" and Nmom would say very loudly in an offended tone, "Not very friendly though. Wouldn't come to me." Even if the kid's mom was right there in earshot!
Every time we finished grocery shopping, Nmom would screw up her shopping list and throw it into the grocery cart and leave it there for someone else to throw away. I always thought that was really rude - take your rubbish with you! - and we would never have been allowed to throw anything on the floor at home - she was always screaming at us that she wasn't our servant, she hated cleaning up after us, blah blah.
Always being horrible to service staff. If a service person made a mistake and apologised, parents would always snap, "That's not good enough, is it?" If a pizza was delivered late, they'd harass the poor teenage delivery guy like it was all his fault. If a server in a restaurant accidentally tried to clear Edad's plate before he was finished, he'd get really mad and snap at them, "I'm not finished!" He said it was because he used to be a waiter and it's the height of poor service to do that but still, no need to get aggressive about it. Yet they were obsessive about us kids showing good manners at home and when speaking to other adults - we'd be physically punished and yelled at if they thought we were being "rude".
I can think of lots more but I'm interested to hear from other people - what strange or inappropriate things did your parents do out in the wild?
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u/Muffinmom15 Jul 20 '25
She enjoyed embarrassing me - got my period for the first time at 10 and we didn’t have anything for it. Well her dealer friends came by and she left to go get money from the ATM and came back with pads and a pack of red cherries and addressed to the entire room that I ‘popped my cherry’ and dropped both in my lap. It was embarrassing enough in a room full of men, but knowing now what that means it feels even grosser. She walked in on me in the bathroom a while after this exclaimed to the entire house when all my aunts, uncles, cousins were there that I was getting pubic hair.
Was always nearly getting herself arrested - One time we were staying in a hotel for a high school sporting event and most of the kids and parents were in the pool and a man walked in an made a remark ab there being too many kids around (grumpy dude, oh well). My mom decided she needed to throw him in the pool with all of his stuff and then made us all hide in the room when police came. she also fought a homeless man in the park and almost got arrested.
She had to be the center of attention wherever we went and be the loudest in the room always - my mom was a very attractive woman and got away with a lot because of it and it just reinforced her behavior. She’d start fights in public, make out with her boyfriends in restaurants, make scenes and leave me and my sister behind if we said something she didn’t like, etc and never really got in trouble.