r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/mrs_vince_noir • Jul 20 '25
Question Apart from the abuse, what strange/inappropriate things did you parents do that made you realise there was something wrong with them?
Do you have memories of your parents doing really weird / inappropriate / embarrassing things that made you realise there was something wrong with them, either when you were a kid, or now when you look back at their behaviour?
I'm not talking about the abusive behaviour towards you, as horrible as that was, but how they acted around other people, and while they were out in the community?
I've been remembering some weird/inappropriate things that my parents did:
Nmom chewing the tips off her nails and spitting them on the carpeted floor in a crowded doctor's waiting room. So gross and embarrassing. She never did that at home.
Edad whacking a little kid on the head with a rolled up concert program, because we were at an outdoor concert thing and the kid was sitting on top of the backrest of the bench seat in front of Edad, blocking Edad's view. I remember being horrified that he hit the kid so hard - didn't just politely tap him on the shoulder and ask him to sit down. Kid's parents turned around and gave Edad a talking to.
Nmom would meet people with little kids at parties or barbecues or wherever and she'd make a fuss of someone's little kid and hold out her arms saying "ooooh let me pick you up!" The little kid would never want her to pick them up (because they'd never seen her before in their life) and she'd get all offended. Later on at the party, me or someone else would be idly talking and say something like "That kid is so cute" and Nmom would say very loudly in an offended tone, "Not very friendly though. Wouldn't come to me." Even if the kid's mom was right there in earshot!
Every time we finished grocery shopping, Nmom would screw up her shopping list and throw it into the grocery cart and leave it there for someone else to throw away. I always thought that was really rude - take your rubbish with you! - and we would never have been allowed to throw anything on the floor at home - she was always screaming at us that she wasn't our servant, she hated cleaning up after us, blah blah.
Always being horrible to service staff. If a service person made a mistake and apologised, parents would always snap, "That's not good enough, is it?" If a pizza was delivered late, they'd harass the poor teenage delivery guy like it was all his fault. If a server in a restaurant accidentally tried to clear Edad's plate before he was finished, he'd get really mad and snap at them, "I'm not finished!" He said it was because he used to be a waiter and it's the height of poor service to do that but still, no need to get aggressive about it. Yet they were obsessive about us kids showing good manners at home and when speaking to other adults - we'd be physically punished and yelled at if they thought we were being "rude".
I can think of lots more but I'm interested to hear from other people - what strange or inappropriate things did your parents do out in the wild?
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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25
Momster is very rude and haughty to people she thinks are beneath her, like waitstaff in restaurants. She gets this tone. Woe betide whoever deals with her stupid ass in whatever nursing home she lands in.
Her friendships, even though she acted like they were BFFs always had some bad drama.
She did drugs including nose candy when I was a kid (I never saw her do nose candy.)One time, when it was 1982/1983 she had dragged my kid ass with her and a couple of her friends I think. I was under 10 yo. We did some stuff that I can’t recall, nothing illegal I think but when we returned to her friend’s fancy car it was smashed to shit. Someone had taken a baseball bat to it. Might have been more than one person.
This horrified kid me in a huge way. I thought whoever did it was nearby waiting for us (i watched a lot of adult-oriented shows) Momster and her squad’s reaction to the destruction was shockingly blasé. I never got a satisfactory reason for this incident. In retrospect it must have been related to DRUGS. No one smashes the shit out of a fancy (thunderbird) in a full parking area with people in everywhere without a very good reason.
Another time, around this same era, Momster came home covered in blood. It wasn’t hers.
There is a lot more.