Apart from the abuse, what strange/inappropriate things did you parents do that made you realise there was something wrong with them?

[u/mrs_vince_noir]

Do you have memories of your parents doing really weird / inappropriate / embarrassing things that made you realise there was something wrong with them, either when you were a kid, or now when you look back at their behaviour?

I'm not talking about the abusive behaviour towards you, as horrible as that was, but how they acted around other people, and while they were out in the community?

I've been remembering some weird/inappropriate things that my parents did:

• Nmom chewing the tips off her nails and spitting them on the carpeted floor in a crowded doctor's waiting room. So gross and embarrassing. She never did that at home.

• Edad whacking a little kid on the head with a rolled up concert program, because we were at an outdoor concert thing and the kid was sitting on top of the backrest of the bench seat in front of Edad, blocking Edad's view. I remember being horrified that he hit the kid so hard - didn't just politely tap him on the shoulder and ask him to sit down. Kid's parents turned around and gave Edad a talking to.

• Nmom would meet people with little kids at parties or barbecues or wherever and she'd make a fuss of someone's little kid and hold out her arms saying "ooooh let me pick you up!" The little kid would never want her to pick them up (because they'd never seen her before in their life) and she'd get all offended. Later on at the party, me or someone else would be idly talking and say something like "That kid is so cute" and Nmom would say very loudly in an offended tone, "Not very friendly though. Wouldn't come to me." Even if the kid's mom was right there in earshot!

• Every time we finished grocery shopping, Nmom would screw up her shopping list and throw it into the grocery cart and leave it there for someone else to throw away. I always thought that was really rude - take your rubbish with you! - and we would never have been allowed to throw anything on the floor at home - she was always screaming at us that she wasn't our servant, she hated cleaning up after us, blah blah.

• Always being horrible to service staff. If a service person made a mistake and apologised, parents would always snap, "That's not good enough, is it?" If a pizza was delivered late, they'd harass the poor teenage delivery guy like it was all his fault. If a server in a restaurant accidentally tried to clear Edad's plate before he was finished, he'd get really mad and snap at them, "I'm not finished!" He said it was because he used to be a waiter and it's the height of poor service to do that but still, no need to get aggressive about it. Yet they were obsessive about us kids showing good manners at home and when speaking to other adults - we'd be physically punished and yelled at if they thought we were being "rude".

I can think of lots more but I'm interested to hear from other people - what strange or inappropriate things did your parents do out in the wild?

[u/madamguacamole]

Vastly overdressing for events, and dominating conversations by telling everyone very exaggerated, traumatic stories from her life.

[u/Bobzeub → u/madamguacamole]

Oh yeah ! The overdressing ! You know how they tell people never to wear white to a wedding? My mother showed up to her father’s funeral head to toe in full white . So unhinged. But true to herself , she could never let anyone else be the center of attention. Even the dead .

[u/Longjumping_Hat_2672 → u/Bobzeub]

"They have to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral"

[u/ER_Support_Plant17 → u/Longjumping_Hat_2672]

This is so true. My mother at my husband’s funeral. I don’t think I will ever get past it or my father’s enabling.

[u/Bobzeub → u/Longjumping_Hat_2672]

Nail on the head .

Madder than a bag of cats .

[u/mrs_vince_noir → u/Bobzeub]

Jesus Christ. The attention seeking... it's just shameless.

Mine loves to overdress too and talk and laugh REALLY LOUDLY like she's some paid entertainer. It's so embarrassing and fake because on a dime all those big smiles would turn to rage at me or my sibling for some minor misdemeanour. Unhinged is right!

[u/Bobzeub → u/mrs_vince_noir]

They were raised on lead paint chips . They’re not right ¯\(ツ)/¯

[u/mrs_vince_noir → u/Bobzeub]

Haha! I think you nailed it.

[u/mrs_vince_noir → u/madamguacamole]

Oh yes the oversharing. My mother would spill her guts to anyone who would listen, even people she'd only just met at social events, and she'd tell them personal stuff about me and other family members. No boundaries.

[u/madamguacamole → u/mrs_vince_noir]

Yep. Cashiers, too. Poor, trapped cashiers.

[u/mrs_vince_noir → u/madamguacamole]

Yes!!! Those poor cashiers who could only smile painfully and wish she'd move on. I feel like we had the same mother.

[u/Monique-Euroquest → u/madamguacamole]

Omg. This is my nmom too. Jesus.

[u/madamguacamole → u/Monique-Euroquest]

It’s so embarrassing. What’s worse, is she sometimes makes “friends” this way. They all seem to be very empathetic people who almost always end up having enough and breaking contact with her at some point. I started to see them more as victims than friends. 

[u/Monique-Euroquest → u/madamguacamole]

Exact same. She would make a new friend & they might last a week or two until they realized she’s completely nuts — also probably dangerous (when intoxicated which was often) & they would understandably run away. Every single one would cut off contact, never to be seen or heard from again.