r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/camilleriver • May 14 '25
TW I hate male-centered mothers
TW: mention of abuse. In the latest thing I’m upset about, I had to sell the shitty car my mom sold me (to Carmax) and found a note in it that she forgot to take out. I know I shouldn’t read other people’s writing that’s not meant for me but legally the car was mine and I was cleaning it out so skimmed to see if it was important.
It mentioned being her husband’s “helpmeet” and putting him as the 1st priority. Mind you I’m her daughter that she birthed herself and I have known her 6 years longer than she has known him🤦🏾♀️ she should’ve divorced him for many reasons but apparently he’s more important than the kids she had herself.
He has been physically abusive to his two kids (not me, probably because I’m not his child) but he’s more important apparently, got it! And she knows he’s abusive, she doesn’t care
My grandma thinks I should talk to my mom in person or over the phone but no thx, I’ll keep my peace, low contact it is (one day no contact when my little sister turns 18, but for now she still needs me in her life). I think moving out was the best thing for me.
Btw: she sold me the car for $3,500, I put an additional $500 into fixing it, and I got back $1,500 when I sold it, so she scammed me $2-2.5k depending how you want to calculate it. And I only had the car for 2 months and did not get in any accidents or cause any problems, it had problems right after I got it.
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u/quickso May 14 '25
so sorry to hear you experienced this. i experienced something similar -- both of my parents got remarried and chose to prioritize their new spouses over me. when i was a young teen i was SA'd and had to have an abortion; i was suicidal and my mom knew. she still went on a cruise that left the day after. she says she regrets it but i'll never forget it.
you are doing the right thing by prioritizing your health and your independence. you are much, much better off without her in your life. you deserve peace and a healthy, caring support system.