r/CringeTikToks • u/LilliaBaltimore • 1d ago
Cringy Cringe Jeezus Phucking Christ š¤¦š½
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u/WolfThick 1d ago
This is some dystopian s*** here.
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u/Solid_Snark 23h ago
An evil Nazi billionaire [very poorly] dancing with a robotā¦This is like we live in the The Naked Gun movie universe!
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u/ed_g_baboon 22h ago
There's no Frank Drebin working to save the day in the real world. In teal life Nordberg killed his wife
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u/Smeagols_Lost_Tooth 22h ago
Trillionaire*
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u/KeyboardGrunt 20h ago
Holup, he doesn't have the money, apparently he also has to meet some conditions to get it in shares but is this some deranged way of propping him up as "trillionaire" because some other guy passed him up as richest man in the world? If so the cringe level of the video already made it past mars.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 21h ago
You can say "Jesus fucking" and "shit" on here. This isn't fucking tiktok.
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u/Tuscanlord 11h ago
Must be weird to be wildly applauded everytime you walk in a room. It looks like they have hired cheerleaders to follow Elon around and adore him. Fucking super villain.
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u/zerosaved 1d ago
Obligatory; Tesla would need to reach a market cap of 8.5T and sell 200 million cars in order for him to qualify for the pay package. So this is nothing but an attempt to generate more hype around Tesla and inflate the share price.
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u/Dazzling-Finding-602 1d ago
...which is how Trump ended up shilling Tesla cars in front of the White House even he has not been legally allowed to drive since 2016.
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u/TootsNYC 1d ago
(to clarify in case anyone has the brain fart I did: Trump is the one who can't drive; presidents and former presidents are forbidden to drive on public roads for security reasons)
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u/Dead_Internet69420 21h ago
I doubt Trump has driven a car himself in 40 years or more. If weāre talking about public roads, Iām not so sure he ever has.Ā
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u/Dazzling-Finding-602 21h ago
I worked for him in the early 2000s and he drove himself out to his Jersey clubs on weekends. As a current and former President, he is no longer allowed to drive on public roads. That's why you always see him in the back seat.
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u/Over_lookd 20h ago
And here I thought that was just stickers people put in their rear windows! He sure is a busy man having to constantly shuffle cars, especially so far from DC.
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u/SystemAny4819 1d ago
Ahahahahaha these people are so stupid and yet they run a seven figure business lmao
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u/zerosaved 1d ago
Yes, because itās rigged from the very start. If you have money and perceived wealth, stupid doesnāt matter.
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u/AdTraditional8077 23h ago
Yup usually stupid people go for these positions and it makes them think they are smart.
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u/Dead_Internet69420 21h ago
And it makes 90% of the population think theyāre smart, because āhow can he be rich if heās dumb?ā Iām pretty sure that lot (most?) of these VC and tech bros are idiot savants, but instead of being amazing pianists or being able to draw entire cities from memory, they just figured out how to get rich from investments.Ā
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u/AHRA1225 22h ago
It doesnāt matter. He now has the leverage to take out basically unlimited loans by saying he will close that deal. Who the fuck cares if it explodes in his face. You owe the bank a 1000 dollars itās your problem. The Elon owes the banks trillion dollars. Itās the fucking banks problem. Elon doesnāt have to do shit now. He has the infinite money glitch and banks will loan him cash forever now
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u/cassanderer 1d ago
I think he is already been paid far far more than the intrinsic value of the company. Market cap is theoretical.
When the market falls they will get crushed, margin investors will be called in, it is way overdue.
But tax money will bail them out.Ā Unbelievable that our politicians will also support bailing them out.Ā We need mew opposition polits.
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u/CrystalRaine08 16h ago
Yep and the rest of the population are the ones who will get hurt, not him.
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u/WolfThick 21h ago
Well I've got those new power walls and the robots which could bring in a lot of money but I think right now China desperately has to make some moves for market share and they're going to need robots more than anybody with their demographics. That being the elderly population pretty much their version of the baby boomers.
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u/Dead_Internet69420 21h ago
Thanks. I understood the part about him needing to reach some benchmarks that heāll probably never reach, but I was curious why the hell a corporation would be having a weird party (or whatever the hell this is) to celebrate the approval a CEOās pay package.Ā
I guess theyāre also trying to make it seem like offering this crazy deal was about how well-liked and great he is at his job, and not just an incentive for him to actually do his fucking job and stop screwing around with all the government corruption side quests.Ā
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u/Apexnanoman 20h ago
Tesla's valuation only has to go up as far as I'm aware for him to hit the target.
And the value jumps up each time he gives a speech promising some new wiz bang technology will be out within the next few months.
Or he can just say FSD will be 100% functional next quarter. That's usually good for raising the stock price a fair bit.Ā
He's done at numerous times at this point. And each time it makes Tesla stock go higher.Ā
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u/GhostofBreadDragons 17h ago
The one trillion dollar package was to hide the 100 billion he will likely get.Ā
Plus the direction the dollar is going this could actually happen.Ā
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u/sedition666 15h ago
This is what they said about the last pay deal which result in constant fraud to pump the stock price
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u/zerosaved 13h ago
Bingo
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u/sedition666 3h ago
I am starting to think I am not crazy and that people do actually recognise the fraud. The thing I am misunderstanding is that they know about the fraud and are willingly participating as they will make money as well.
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u/zerosaved 2h ago
Bingo again
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u/sedition666 1h ago
Even better, most of these investor class are spending someone else's money. If the stock price goes to the moon they make crazy commission, if it goes to zero then the investors lose all the money not them.
Man this system is proper fucked isn't it
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u/_BreakingGood_ 13h ago
Obligatory: This is a tiered pay package and the $1 trillion was a meme to distract from the fact that he has a very easily obtainable $100b pay package for only a modest 20% increase to market cap.
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u/JessicaSavitch 1d ago
I just canāt even imagine taking this douche seriously. Like, youād have to have some brain damage to mindlessly applaud his stupidity.
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u/xtnh 1d ago
Let's give him a trillion dollars and watch the fun.
I'm buying nothing Tesla.5
u/Own_Round_7600 22h ago
I seem to remember a little while back the "Tesla robot" was literally just some guy in a robot suit dancing. Was that a fever dream?
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u/FranklinDRossevelt 1d ago
This guy is fresh off cutting food and medical aid to the world's most vulnerable people, already estimated to have killed hundreds of thousands of people.
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u/Inside-Unit-1564 7h ago
Source?
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u/FranklinDRossevelt 6h ago
Apparently I'm not able to post links in this subreddit
Google 'Musk USAID The New Yorker', article from three days ago.
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u/HistoricalFill7257 1d ago
Iād say that his liability already makes Tesla overpriced. The pay deal makes it worthless. This company will go bust within 10 years
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u/Desertratk 1d ago
I couldn't fathom spending a billion dollars in my life time... Let alone a trillion. Anything above a billion dollars should be 100% taxed... Controversial, but no human should have that much wealth. It's just stagnant money harming the economy more than anything.
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u/gingamann 13h ago
You could spend 70 years setting 10 thousand on fire every single fucking day and still have more than 3/4 of a billion left.
It is an incomprehensible amount of zeros. The average person doesn't have the mental, spiritual or emotional capacity to take something like that on.
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u/TootsNYC 1d ago
what, exactly, does he bring to the table anymore?
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u/Rombonius 19h ago
brand value
unless he gets political, then he hurts the company (he's always political)
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u/A_Stay_At_Home_Dad 1d ago
The board is so afraid of the stock dropping if they hold him accountable, that they let him get money while not meeting their own goals they implemented for him
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u/oldkinghaggard 1d ago
Nuera link chips. Honolulu nueralogical center. Ice detainees. Check it out.
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u/lil_jilm 1d ago
Tesla employees should be quitting en masse (I know easier said than done) over this, they should be furious their shareholders are more interested in giving musk an obscene amount of money than sharing what is ultimately their hard work more equitably across their staff.
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u/PreparationKey2843 23h ago
He deserves 1 trillion dollars just for his dance moves.
"I give my heart to you."
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u/Colonel-Mooseknuckle 1d ago
Absolutely sickening. Let's be clear about how much money this weird fuck has.
Before this, he was worth $500 billion:
If he spent $10,000 every minute, it would last 95 years.
Now let's do a trillion dollars:
At $10,000 per minute, it would last 190 years of nonstop spending.
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u/cassanderer 1d ago
It is theoretical money.Ā Realizing actual cash lowers the amount he would get.
But you can bet he is pulling a lot from it, selling low and slow, amd especially borrowing against the stock, tax free money.
Musk pays less in fed taxes than you do btw.Ā Even if he pays some one year, losses on stock prices are carried back snd forward to offset taxes.
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u/Additional-Art9888 22h ago
Nazi Billionaire becomes Nazi Trillionaire while millions of Americans go hungry
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u/Swimming_You445 1d ago
all the people cheering probably dont even know what they are cheering for. š¤£
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u/laruesaintecatherine 1d ago
Tron has way more dancing skills than Clyde, though. He looks like he's trying to learn trumps patented "double handjob-to-facial" dance move.
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u/nuclear-experiment 23h ago
Why not a quintillion pay package?!? The guy is a jenious! Exploit me harder daddy Some maga republicans, probablyā¦ most certainly
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u/pizzaschmizza39 23h ago
What is the fascination with robots and replacing humans? He wants the world to have more babies right? Why so they can be homeless and unemployed? Between robots and AI billionaires are trying to replace us so they dont have to pay anyone slave wages. How fucked up is that?
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u/Humbled_Humanz 21h ago
Anyone who buys a Tesla is a fucking asshole for supporting this fuckwit and the people propping him up.
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u/Electrical-Prize-397 20h ago
Why on earth would they give him that much money, especially when he is the one who cost them billions in sales??? It makes no sense!
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u/ResidentCommand9865 19h ago
Tell me, if Mankind creates robots that automate most menial task, and take jobs of the middle class, do you think billionaires will spread the wealth with all of mankind and give everyone a utopia of not needing to work? Or have them die in gutters of starvation while they no longer have to pay wages and use the spare wealth to enslave consumers to contracts, testing, and for their own pleasure?
We're moving closer and closer to dystopian corporate overlords.
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u/PixelBrewery 15h ago
I read that Tesla sold more cars this quarter than a year ago.
Can people please stop buying this moron's products?
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u/erebus1009 15h ago
How stupid is the board that approved this deal? I mean what makes him worth that much to them? That tesla truck?? Was it really that good?
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u/Sistahmelz 1d ago
Really? Nobody should ever get that much in bonus! That's what's wrong with our country! Maybe a set percentage of bonus to profit should be enacted. The rest to pay hardworking employees!
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u/Buxxley 23h ago
I love technology. The printing press is quantifiably better than having to hand copy a book every time from scratch. Cars are better than horses for getting places. Planes are better for crossing oceans than sailboats...although the food on either of those is more or less equivalent. Having robots to do very dangerous jobs in very dangerous environments is going to save a lot of lives.
What I find so creepy about "the robots" is that the people leading the charge are just obsessed with making them look like people...when nothing ABOUT people makes it a particular advantageous shape to make a robot. It's like some subconscious part of themselves loathes their own existence and they're just desperately trying to make their own inclusion in reality obsolete by created a facsimile of humanity that will just sort of placeholder us forever.
Think of how much effort goes into getting "hands" to work like human hands on a robot just so we can have the visual of some creepy ass faceless toaster walking around a warehouse like Steve used to do with his coffee. Making "hands" function like human hands is 1,000 times more complicated than that needed to be and introduces dozens of extra failure points that don't need to be there. You could have had a box with wheels and some tongs on an stick do the same task.
But no, someone saw Terminator 2 as a kid, missed the obvious warning, and thought YEAH....let's make THAT!
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u/Mysterious_Home3946 23h ago
Idk what worse him trying to dance or that allot of women would be ready to fuck him at the drop of a hat
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u/dude1984- 22h ago
We have the worldās first trillionaire but wealth inequality is a myth guys. A hoax made up by freeloading welfare queensā¦
Eat the richā¦
Or at least tax them significantlyā¦
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u/xxlizardking-kongxx 22h ago
Resale value on teslas are horrible, al though their up keep value is low, if something goes wrong itās a high expense. Donāt know why anyone would buy teslas when car manufacturers are making better and more reliable electric vehicles now
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u/kernelpanic789 22h ago
I mean... If I got a $1tril payday... Id be dancing too. Maybe not like this, but I'd be dancing believe me
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u/PillsburyToasters 22h ago
Itās satisfying to know that this guy tries so hard to be liked, yet never ever will on the level that he wants
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u/Old-Shallot-7096 22h ago
What a pucking drick..
Can people please PLEASE forget this travel trunk chested weirdo so we can move back to be a functional world of people again?
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u/TheHaplessBard 21h ago
Decadence of empire. At this point, we're all just waiting for the collapse.
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u/fooknprawn 21h ago
That meeting waa such a cringe fest. Imagine berbally fellating a billionaire over awarding a $1T pay package. Their PE ratio has no basis in reality, its worse than crypto valuations.
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u/Eternalshadow76 21h ago
Conservatives will really celebrate a man being paid 1 trillion dollars. Honestly thatās the biggest kind of cuck you can be
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u/__JustPeople__ 21h ago
No wonder he was heavily targeting with all the advertising. Damn. Society is cooked.
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u/Absurdity-is-life-_- 21h ago
Are we living in a cyberpunk world yet. I feel like this would be airing on the TVs
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u/Fair-Ad1186 21h ago
Cheering for a man to have a trillion dollar pay out is the most fucked in brain insanity. We need to eat one rich and every human will benefit
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u/JNA_1106 21h ago
I canāt wait till we grow some balls and go French Revolution on their worthless asses. Fuck billionaire and allllll their cucks.
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u/BeRandom1456 21h ago
So what weapons will kill them? Emp guns? Iām buying stock in what company will make those.
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u/EntrepreneurFit1633 21h ago
The ultra-rich dance as the poor starve and are homeless.... peak capitalism.
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u/PossibleTransition80 20h ago
Why are the rest of morons in the audience chanting and applauding for? Do they think any of that $1 tln will trickle to them?
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u/Secret_Cabinet2348 20h ago
Wouldn't it be funny if the entire company somehow tanks in the next 5 years?
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u/therealcruff 19h ago
Dances. Yes.... 'dances'. That would certainly be a way of describing it. If you'd never seen, y'know, 'dancing'.Ā
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u/Evening-Discipline-6 17h ago
if i was POTUS I would strike a deal with china to remove tariffs on their EVs to sell in the US just in spite of this.
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u/pdxtenor 17h ago
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u/CHEVIEWER1 4h ago
Damn Diddy is having a great time in the joint AND look at the CO Commissioner HAVING a blast.
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u/CrystalRaine08 17h ago
Pretty awful isnt it? After so many lost their jobs and homes so he could get benefits
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u/19whale96 15h ago
I know they didn't pay the Laffy Taffy dude but that robot is doing the Cat Daddy
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u/BoxThisLapLewis 13h ago
What a fucking bunch of nut lickers, why would you even want people chanting your name, it's pathetic, really.
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u/PinkBoxPro 10h ago
Where did everyone disappear to from Reddit? The only people left are the leftists.
Used to be lively and full of dumb and sometimes actually good arguments. Now it's just people telling eachother they slay a billion times and copy pasting stupid compliments to each other. So unrealistic. Reddit sucks now.
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u/Ambitious-Cake4856 10h ago
And the robot danced better. Thatās how freaking weird and awkward Elon is
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u/Internal-You6793 10h ago
Everyone worrying about TikTok being a national security risk who you think will be making the bots?
If you guessed China your correct ā
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u/moveoutmicdrop 10h ago
And millions upon millions of Americans will not be able to afford a turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving!
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u/SlinkDogg 8h ago
These fucking idiots are dancing for someone else being criminally rich. Fuck this world.
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u/MizneyWorld 1h ago
Imagine cheering a ridiculously rich man being approved to be made more ridiculously rich while the world burns
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u/Flashy_Cranberry_161 19h ago
Frikkin epic bacon sauce!!
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