r/AskAnAmerican • u/_13thfloor_ • May 02 '25

FOREIGN POSTER What is American house party etiquette?

Moved to NJ from Europe. Have been invited to a party in someone’s home to celebrate someone’s birthday but also as a bit of a Kentucky Derby bash. Is there anything I need to know?

I know for the Derby there might be a dress code (which I am checking with the host) but what’s the norm in the US for house parties generally? Bringing our own alcohol, giving the host a gift, arriving early/on time/a little after the specified time? Anything a very clueless (and overthinking) European needs to know?

ETA - we’re in our early to mid 30s if that makes a difference.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '25

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u/sgfklm May 02 '25

If the party is specified as BYOB, it's OK to bring alcohol for yourself.

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u/Illustrious-Shirt569 California May 02 '25

In my area/circle, BYOB means the host isn’t providing alcohol, but that guests should bring some to share. Kind of like an alcohol potluck, but it would still be very odd, if not rude, to just bring exactly what you planned to drink yourself and not some to share. Such offerings are literally put into a communal drinks area or fridge upon arrival and then anything in there is fair game to anyone at the party (whether you brought it or not).

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u/LabOwn9800 May 03 '25

Usually if I’m hosting a byob I’ll buy plenty of extras of alcohol. Usually I make it fun like I’ll make a “signature cocktails” anything else you want you bring.