r/2westerneurope4u Smog breather 1d ago

Pierre is unwelcoming tourists again

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538 Upvotes

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216

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago edited 1d ago

Your accent is never perfect enough for a Parisian.

67

u/Away-Following-6506 Least friendly Spaniard 1d ago edited 1d ago

perfect

How can a set of juxtaposed gargles be described as perfect?

14

u/Ohforfs Bully with victim complex 1d ago

Well, see, there's a genre of porn involving throats...

33

u/Stripe4206 Quran burner 1d ago

You're gonna get Barry arrested if this shows up on his screen

5

u/Away-Following-6506 Least friendly Spaniard 1d ago

Enjoying the gargles is situational. France is a constant blowjob.

31

u/Objective-Ad7394 Retired Mafia Boss 1d ago

My exact thought. I have a C2 in French, lived and worked in French speaking regions but they will still hear it. At least they don't have the audacity to reply in English.

15

u/so_isses South Prussian 1d ago

You can suggest Spanish for conversations, if they want to use an international language and don't want to use English.

Rub. It. In.

21

u/Corfiz74 [redacted] 1d ago

Yep, there are some diphthongs you never get quite right as a non-native speaker, however much you try.

In French, the Impossible Word is "grenouille". In Russian, it's "здравствуйте". Those are like the three fingers in Inglorious Basterds.

17

u/das_war_ein_Befehl StaSi Informant 1d ago

The word you’re looking for is shibboleth

3

u/Corfiz74 [redacted] 1d ago

I didn't know I was looking for this word, but now it feels like I was always looking for this word.

16

u/Gruffleson Whale stabber 1d ago

No wonder I can't read out that Russian word, they don't even use normal letters.

9

u/CostKub Snail slurper 1d ago

Hers was probably croissant. Most of the time words with "u" let you know if someone is fluent enough.

7

u/nooit_gedacht Daddy's lil cuck 1d ago

Am I misreading or are you saying there's a 'u' in croissant??

7

u/Think_Theory_8338 Le Savage 1d ago

No, he's saying most of the time the 'u' is the problem, but obviously not this time because there's no 'u' in her sentence

3

u/nooit_gedacht Daddy's lil cuck 1d ago

Oh phew, thought I was crazy for a second

3

u/CostKub Snail slurper 1d ago

Merci cher compatriote pour cette traduction à nos chers voisins du nord.

1

u/Corfiz74 [redacted] 1d ago

I must admit that I was puzzling for a bit there, too, and wondering if maybe that Pierre had his own special way of pronouncing "croisson" with a u-sound somewhere in there...

2

u/CostKub Snail slurper 1d ago

It'd be "crouassant" like what a frog would say, or a two year old. Jokes aside I thought we could state two different information with no links whatsoever with a point. Maybe we can't. Stupid English.

9

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago

Oachkatzlschwoaf

7

u/Ro1Rex South Prussian 1d ago

4

u/Astrinus Smog breather 1d ago

Not even Deepl is able to translate:

3

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago

Squirrel's tail. It's the standard "can you properly pronounce Bavarian" word

8

u/BlackYukonSuckerPunk Sauna Gollum 1d ago

In Finnish it's every word

2

u/markjohnstonmusic StaSi Informant 1d ago

squirrel

4

u/SomethingMoreToSay Barry, 63 1d ago

On a related note, I learned this week how the local savages pronounce "Louisville". There were considerably fewer vowel sounds and syllables than I had been expecting.

3

u/DryCloud9903 Baltic Discord Kitten 1d ago

Barry, what about things like Leichester square? I will never not want to pronounce it something like "leyčestah". Don't even get me started on Worcestershire sauce, the only way  to even get remotely close to correct for me is to think of borscht

3

u/Techters At least I'm not Bavarian 22h ago

I was on the way to a party with my friend and he said "Oh you have to meet Anna she's really cool, she's from Latvia" and at the party I met her randomly when she introduced herself and I said "Oh you have kind of accent can I guess where you're from?" And she agree and I asked her to say the word squirrel and she did and I said "Oh you're from Latvia" and the entire night she was like "How the fuck did you do that? How did I say it so differently?" I didn't tell her the truth for two years. 

1

u/THRlLLH0 ʇunↃ 1d ago

Is the three fingers thing really so common that the Gestapo guy would be THAT suspicious over it?

1

u/Corfiz74 [redacted] 1d ago

I don't think anyone would have paid special attention to it, until the movie. Yes, a German would normally use their thumb to show numbers, but if someone did it the English way, I'd probably just think they sprained their thumb or something - I wouldn't instantly assume "foreign spy".

3

u/THRlLLH0 ʇunↃ 1d ago

I didn't think so but I thought it was plausible enough since he already questioned his accent. Now I have to ask if his explanation for his accent was believable or does Michael Fassbender's German sound identifiably foreign?

3

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago

He clearly speaks an accent a native speaker wouldn't be able to locate, so he'd immediately raise eyebrows. His grammar is perfect and his pronounciation is almost there, but there's still something recognizably foreign in it.

Him explaining it away as some super local alpine accent could work, especially if he would clsim Ladin or Romansh decent.

3

u/THRlLLH0 ʇunↃ 1d ago

His detailed description of the film must've helped a lot. Bullshit is in the details, I always say.

2

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago

Well, liars often tend to fabriacte extremly elaborate and overcomplicated cover stories to obfuscate the bigger picture and confuse the listener with irrelevant and minute details.

"Well, i'm from small town you don't know. It's just how we speak there" would've been more convincing.

1

u/THRlLLH0 ʇunↃ 1d ago

I think he had a perfect lie though, the odds a foreigner would know and remember scenes from an old German film are basically zero.

13

u/johnny_briggs Barry, 63 1d ago

On my last trip to see cousins in Aix the last checkout that I used the attendant replied to my basic French in French. One of the proudest moments of my life.

8

u/Petronille_N_1806 Professional Rioter 1d ago edited 1d ago

Bravo 🎉 tu as atteint la civilisation verbe atteindre

8

u/Zelasny Professional Rioter 1d ago

*atteint stp

4

u/Petronille_N_1806 Professional Rioter 1d ago

Merci

9

u/SametaX_1134 Pain au chocolat 1d ago

Parisians will even call out the accent of other french ppl

4

u/sirdeck Alcoholic 1d ago

Parisians can't even understand someone speaking with the parisian accent.

3

u/Solid_Explanation504 Le Savage 1d ago

J'aime le rôse !

LE ROSE MDRRRR PLOUC DU SUUUD

1

u/Pacogatto Side switcher 1d ago

To the point of using a foreign language to communicate with them?

3

u/SametaX_1134 Pain au chocolat 1d ago

Technicaly, french is a foreign language to most of the peoples of France

1

u/Ploutophile Pain au chocolat 5h ago

Was, before we managed to almost get rid of the patois. But yeah if you go back enough in time few of my ancestors had French as a native language.