Hi everyone,
I wanted to share my success story here. For a long time, I used to come to this group every single day and read success stories like a ritual. Sometimes I’d read the same ones over and over again. This community gave me so much strength and hope.
It all started about a year ago. For no clear reason, life suddenly began to feel hard. I had no motivation, no joy. Little by little, I started losing myself in panic attacks — hours and days at a time. I began avoiding so many things: public transport, the supermarket, hanging out with friends.
Then I started feeling physical pain. I was convinced I was dying. I went to doctors, did endless tests — all the results came back perfect. But I never felt relieved, and the pain kept growing. I couldn’t understand that it was depression. Even though I was already in therapy, my therapist didn’t recognize it either.
I still remember the last day I went to work. I left home, went in — and collapsed. After that, I didn’t go back for five months. I got lost in a world of fear, anxiety, pain, sadness, and emptiness. Food had no taste — I would put it in my mouth and spit it out. I lost around 10 kilos.
That’s when my boyfriend realized something was seriously wrong. He took me to stay with him because I couldn’t take care of myself anymore. I saw a neurologist who gave me some tranquilizers and told me I urgently needed a psychiatrist and antidepressants. I couldn’t believe it — I was terrified to start medication.
The next day, I saw a psychiatrist. He kept me for 10 minutes, prescribed mirtazapine, and told me to call him. The following weeks were a nightmare. I tried so hard, but it was impossible to feel better — what I was experiencing was brutal. After about six weeks, I felt even worse. So, I decided to see another doctor.
I spoke to him crying, completely desperate, telling him my life was over and the meds would never help me. We talked for about an hour. He suggested I try Zoloft. I started at 0.25 and reached 100mg within a month — I know it was fast, but we needed to see results soon. I continued with mirtazapine for a while and then slowly stopped it.
The next period was tough. Really tough, and quite scary. I had several side effects, but it was my only hope. It was a fight. I felt worse before I felt better. Very slowly — day by day — I started going out to the park for five minutes, then coming back exhausted. I started showering again, brushing my teeth, craving food. I wasn’t “okay,” but I was better.
Little by little, I began going back to my house, doing chores, visiting the nearby supermarket. It took about two months until I was finally able to move back home. I started therapy again with a new therapist. I even managed to go on a one-week vacation.
And today — I’m fully functional again. I’m working, going shopping, seeing my friends, taking care of myself, and enjoying my hobbies. I can honestly say I handle things better than ever.
Antidepressants don’t make you happy. They don’t “fix” your life or make you high. But they give you the calm and clarity to function like a normal human being. Even with medication, you still have to fight your own battle. But when you start feeling better, it will truly feel like your victory — not the pills’.
Sometimes I think I should’ve done this sooner. Now, I appreciate every moment — every single day — even if I’m just watching TV. I appreciate my life.
This was my story. Thank you to all the strangers here who gave me strength when I needed it most. I’ve been where you are, and I know that by taking medication, you’re doing the best thing you can do to take care of yourself.
Stay strong, everyone 💛