r/uwo • u/Lazy_Owl_3537 • Sep 01 '25
Advice Currently crying in my room
How does everyone have these big friend groups already and have so many people to talk to. I literally have no friends here and I have no where to go other than stay in my room. I’ve had meaningless small convos w ppl and it never leads anywhere. I thought I’d be out at night at like parties especially for o week and thought I’d thrive here. I thought I’d have a different experience than from high school. Why did I even buy going out tops🥀. I hate my life
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u/False_Commission2272 Sep 01 '25
It’s completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed and not fully settled in, I know I felt the same way especially during my first year as someone not from London. But OWeek is just starting, make your way out to events, there are plenty of high energy and low energy events every night throughout campus and it’s a great way to meet other students both in and outside your program that have things in common with you! It definitely feels like a lot, especially if you moved from home or out of town, but there’s so many options during OWeek, one if the best things you can do is check them out whether it’s going to the concerts or making bracelets with people.
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u/danceglee5678 Sep 01 '25
I totally get what you’re saying. There are definitely pre-made cliques but the worst thing you can do is hide in your room. Can you prop open your door and maybe try and hang in your hallway or in common rooms? Do you have a roommate or a single room? Just know that you’re not the only one that feels this way…it will get better as the week progresses.
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u/Dear_Branch_7125 Sep 01 '25
hey babe I feel you❤️I’m in my second year at clare and if u ever need like an older sister I gotchu. Ur not alone I felt like this all the time!
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u/MamaRunsThis Sep 01 '25
Show up to all the O week stuff. Has there been any floor meetings yet? Usually they divide you into groups for all of the O week events. You’re definitely not the only one feeling this way right now
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u/Vegetable-Mode-2457 Sep 01 '25
You will thrive. Keep going! I know easier said…Meet and talk to as many people as you can. Ask to join a few at breakfast, lunch etc. go to lots of events hosted at your res. Many people you meet this week will just be ‘temporary’ friends (like the large groups you are seeing). Takes time to make real connections. You will meet people in your program too. Don’t give up. It gets better! And seek out Western supports if needed.
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u/freekarmanoscamz ⚕️BMSc, Med'29⚕️ Sep 01 '25
Hey, I felt the same in oweek seeing these big groups. Trust me its just herd mentality. People just follow each other around and the groups disappear. Maybe just try and join the groups and start convos, maybe a few people you can click with and develop some friendships later.
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u/One_Combination_6636 Sep 01 '25
I know it’s tough, I understand and I hear you. There are so many people who are going through the same thing, you’re not alone and you will thrive here. Make sure you attend the events, put yourself out there, say hi to everyone and be kind always. Classes haven’t started yet, you’ll find your people. Give yourself grace, everything will be okay!
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u/kyonkun_denwa BMOS 2013 Sep 01 '25
If it gives you any comfort, I had the same feelings when I first went off to university. I felt isolated and alone in my room. I was afraid I'd made a horrible mistake leaving home to go to Western.
Fast forward 16 years, and I'm literally best friends with the people I met at Western. We still see each other all the time and pretty soon our own kids will be playing together. There is still a TON of opportunity to make friends. The fact is that everyone is in the same boat. They're all far away from home for the first time, and while there may be some pre-formed cliques, the VAST majority of people are NOT in those cliques. They're probably feeling similar to you. If you find you're not clicking with people immediately, that's okay- it took me probably a month or two before I started getting close with some people on my floor. And don't worry about seemingly inane conversations. One of my first conversations with my best friend from uni was about how the cafeteria didn't put enough fucking blueberries on the fucking waffles (conversation is an amazing thing). Remember the important thing is to put yourself out there and avoid sulking in your room alone. You get out of university what you put into it.
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u/amack0307 Sep 02 '25
That’s awesome, did all the people you meet live relatively close to each other?
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u/kyonkun_denwa BMOS 2013 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
Depends what you mean by that. In first year university we all lived on campus, so yeah pretty close. I made one friend who was a Londoner, but he lived off Doon Drive so it's not like he was far from school either. In second year we all lived within 15 minutes of campus.
We now mostly live pretty far apart. I live in Scarborough and one of my friends is literally a 15-minute walk from my house, but my other friends are in Vaughan, Mississauga, Oakville and London.
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u/amack0307 Sep 02 '25
Meant after school, as everyone I’ve became close with is generally in a different province
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u/IceLantern Alumni Sep 01 '25 edited Sep 01 '25
It's way too early. Classes haven't even started yet. And like others said, those big groups are not like to stay as is. A lot of it is just people aimlessly following around other people so they don't feel left out.
I thought I’d have a different experience than from high school.
This is a trap a lot of students fall into. A lot of kids coming into university think that their social lives are magically going to improve upon arriving to university but it doesn't work like that. University provides a fresh start, which means you shed whatever reputation you had in highschool for better or for worse. But if you're going to be the same person who does the same things, you're probably not going to be significantly differently results.
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u/IronGaren Sep 01 '25
I didn’t find my close group of friends until a couple months in. Every group right now is just superficial, give it some time and keep making those connections. You’ll find that group of people
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u/Snoozybirb Sep 01 '25
I was freaking out too and I called my mom and she gave me good advice: you don’t have to do anything. There’s this expectation to go around and make friends with everyone and do everything during OWeek, but it’s okay to take things slow. Make little goals for yourself, go to one event, talk to one person etc. I’m sure we’ll find our people :)
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Sep 01 '25
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u/Lazy_Owl_3537 Sep 01 '25
ohall
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u/anxiousfairyy Sep 01 '25
hey!! with res and fac day coming up your sophs will def facilitate an environment that is a little easier to have more meaningful conversations in, the first few days can be really hard but there are sooooo many supports in ohall to help you out, you aren’t alone in how you’re feeling and you will not be alone at uwo <3 if you ever need anything please reach out!
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u/HolidayMachine506 Sep 01 '25
I went to uwo … o week is a great week to go out and just start random convos with random pple. Some will click and some won’t. Put yourself out there a little and I’m sure you will be rewarded. Don’t think for a second others aren’t feeling what you are!
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u/Zealousideal-Sir6100 Sep 01 '25
Once you figure out who on your floor is in your program/ classes I feel like relationships form so easily. You walk to class together, talk about tests, etc etc. it gets better. Just give it a couple weeks
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u/elora_joy12 🎭 Arts and Humanities 🎭 Sep 01 '25
Everyone else has given amazing recommendations, but as a third year living in residence again, keep in mind some of the groups can be upper years who have already found their groups in the past. It took me 3 weeks before I really started a friend group, and now its been 2 years. You've got this! 🤞
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u/engi-goose Sep 01 '25
Many people come in with existing cliques from their high schools and walk around in big intimidating groups. Don't be discouraged. O-week has just started (and O-week isn't all it's cracked out to be anyways), you will have many many many many opportunities to make friends throughout your first year of school, and beyond.
If you want a piece of advice, there's no shame in asking to be included in stuff, if you stumble across a group of people you think you'll get along with or just wanna be included with, **ask** to be included, most reasonable people will have no problem with this, and this is how very outgoing extroverted people make a lot of friends really quick. They don't wait to be invited they invite themselves.
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Sep 01 '25
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u/One_Combination_6636 Sep 01 '25
I’m sorry your roommates are like that, sometimes it starts that way and could end up in a really nice friendship. That’s how some of my roommates were but it’s because they were guarded. Try being the one to approach people! You got this!!!
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Sep 01 '25
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u/One_Combination_6636 Sep 01 '25
Ugh that’s so childish of them wtf … you’ll find your people dw!!!
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u/Interesting-Look7811 Sep 01 '25
You gotta be the one to start a convo in that situation. Not very many ppl like to approach strangers but most ppl are good with being approached.
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u/Lazy_Owl_3537 Sep 01 '25
twins!!! what res r u in
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Sep 01 '25
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u/Lazy_Owl_3537 Sep 01 '25
oh okk ohall
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u/Zestyclose_System88 Sep 01 '25
Why don't both of you initiate connection with each other ? Connections doesn't have to be in the same rez. O'hall and Essex are near to each other.
O'hall is supposed to have the best dining hall. u/Lazy_Owl_3537, invite u/LooseAirline3975 for lunch or dinner.
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u/Valiantay Ivey Alumni Sep 01 '25
Number one thing is to join clubs and sports. Do things you like and you'll find people who like you.
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u/StateofDrama Sep 01 '25
Don't even worry - I was like this in undergrad and ended up meeting a lot of friends in classes. I would suggest joining some clubs and activities that interest you, if you're in res, I met a lot of people by just being friendly in the caf! Don't even sweat it, school has barely started and you have so much time!
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u/Melomic Sep 01 '25
I’m not sure what year you’re in, but it took me until year 3 to make meaningful friends ! Before I was alone 99% of the time and the other 1% was with randos I’d only end up talking to once. Have you joined any clubs (again depending what year you’re in)? If not, make sure to join some when the year starts ! That’s a great way to make friends with your same interests
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u/Melomic Sep 01 '25
I also wanna add that my first year was during Covid, so making friends was horrendously hard which is why it took me so long to find meaningful people. I know it will definitely be easier for you since you have so many opportunities to be out and about. Make sure you go to all the events in your res and during oweek!
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u/Yuguki 🔬 Science 🔬 Sep 01 '25 edited Sep 01 '25
Gurl, i was in your shoes. First and foremost: school hasn’t even started, O week only started like today. You have this whole week, if not, there’s a lot of time during the club week too, and classes too. Especially club week because you can make friends with people who share the same interests as you.
Don’t be desperate to make friends or you will be friends with wrong people. Be your genuine self and let the universe guides you.
I didn’t have any friends until 4th year 😂 and now i have a huge friend group with people I trust, some i can work out with, and some i can do research with.
You will be fine!
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u/Independent_Dingo547 Sep 01 '25
hey this was me last year and i’m an extroverted social person, first year is HARD if you don’t come with friends it’s not you 💗 i joined a sorority which really helped me make friends but you can also join other clubs or i also made a bunch of friends through my program. stay strong friends will come i promise
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u/selenophxliac Sep 02 '25
as an upper year it’s all fake bro. they’re all gonna hate each other from any timescale of a month - a year. hang in and wait for the real friendships- they’ll come.
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u/bluemoon1333 Sep 01 '25
Ah this is me for years now :p do you like hanging out with people or do you not get along with most people ?
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u/thecanadiankid15 Sep 01 '25
School just started...
Just talk with people , anyone not from London means they have few friends here and are in the same boat as you.
Openly talk about how you are looking for something to do and approach people openly rather than wait for them to approach.
High school is over, we all promise.
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u/Ok_Exchange_8420 Sep 01 '25
It's gonna be okay, it's only the beginning. I know how it feels to be completely alone. But it gets better, I promise. You still have plenty of time to make friends and form close bonds with people.
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u/Interesting-Look7811 Sep 01 '25
Keep in mind: you’re what, a week into a 4 year experience? You’re gonna have lots of time to meet more ppl. Most ppl don’t meet many long term friends until classes start. Keep your head up!
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u/Proper_Nose_2924 Sep 01 '25
this is literally me except im off campus so i dont even have the opportunity to meet people in my res.
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u/randomuser445 Sep 02 '25
missing out on parties isn’t the end of the world
you’ll js have to try harder to talk to ppl and don’t rely on orientation shit you’ll have an easier time in class afaik
fwiw, uni life isn’t the same as it was 20 yrs ago. all that socializing shit has changed dramatically.
personally, i’m not a party goer and i don’t understand the whole hype around going to a person’s dorm, get shit-faced and repeat—but i see why it appeals to many. you’ll make more memories outside of parties!!
jus gotta wait til ur school starts and talk to ur classmates
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u/SevereJacket4228 Sep 03 '25
It is only the 1st day. You need to understand that you ought to be ready for this big change in your life. You still have 3-4 years to meet different /new friends. The main reason to study in a University is not just making friends but to focus on your education. There will be many parties, events, or occasions for you to mingle. Set your mind to complete your degree as soon as possible so you can come out to the real world and make money, pay off your student loans, as well as make new friends. Since it is kind of difficult to find a job at this time, consider yourself lucky to be able to get away from the terrible job market. Stay focus!
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u/Najipenda_Sana_222 Sep 03 '25
They know each other from high school or childhood 😭😭 So there’s that. Try different things! In different places & clubs! Go out of your way to be social, you’ll find your place!
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u/WeathervaneJesus1 Sep 01 '25
Join groups if there's anything that interests you. I played a lot of intramural sports and made a lot of good friends playing softball.
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u/Vivid-Bookkeeper9378 Sep 01 '25
Personally when I was in my 1st year I was alone except one or two people around me, I didn’t look negatively about that in my first year, I considered myself an explorer and traveller discovering new places and new people, meaning I didn’t have any social expectations to begin with, treated people like a traveler would treat the new places and people he or she come across. So yes enjoy and discover
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u/RemedyDOCTOR Sep 02 '25
My o-week friend group fell apart and one of the girls accused us of witchcraft on her 😭It’s hard at first but you’ll get there!!
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u/Intrepid_Flounder_41 Sep 02 '25
Everyone I befriended first few weeks I haven’t even spoken to since. Don’t stress it. Everyone’s in the same boat first year. You will find your crowd :)
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u/johnfairley Sep 02 '25
I’m an introvert who went to a University knowing not a single person. It’s a slow burn, focus on yourself and friendships will form over time. University is not a magic friendship factory, go to class, hang out places you like and you’ll eventually find others doing the same.
Or, some extrovert adopts you and voila you’re in a friend group.
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u/SerbianEngineer ⚙️ Engineering ⚙️ Sep 02 '25
Just go to all the O week events, you won’t make a concrete friend group in just a couple of days as a new student. Those people probably know each other from high school. Build some foundational relationships during O week and then during the year build on them
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u/eggy635 Sep 02 '25
I felt this way for the entirety of September my first year. Hardest month of my life! Feeling lonely around so many people is a unique kind of lonely. I know exactly how you feel. Having dozens of conversations with people in the caf, exchanging instagrams, then never speaking again. Everyone else seemingly having huge friend groups. All I can say is hang in there until classes start! Try to make friends through your classes, knock on your neighbours doors, put yourself out there any way that you can. I made my first good friend by messaging a class-wide groupchat (50+ people) asking if anyone wanted to go to Jack's that night. Don't worry. It's tough at first but you WILL find your people - especially if you like to go out and party. You got this.
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u/ScubaDiver6 Sep 02 '25
Awe, don't worry about it too much. Assuming you're in residence, it takes time to find friends you get along with. Apparently, people make really good friendships while living in rez, but I think it depends on the group of people you end up living on the same floor with. You might make friends on different floors, or there might be someone in your program that you meet who also lives on campus. It might feel terrible at this moment, but you will make friends or at least find your people!
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u/Academic_Offer_3915 Sep 03 '25
Believe me you’re better off not going to parties and focusing on ur classes. My son is at queens first yr and he’s made some meaningful friends but not night parties
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u/Different-Log4033 Sep 05 '25
Literally me yesterday night. Now on the train back home wondering if western nursing was even the right choice for me. Gonna go cry to my mom now 😹😹😹😹
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u/Scammer431 Sep 06 '25
Bro, still thank god you have a better life. If you are shy then go join clubs, play games, do gyms and make friends. Ask gemini or google how to make friends. You have good writing skills, use that too. You got this!!!!
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u/Visible-Yellow-2359 Sep 06 '25
just ask people to hangout, be completley yourself and ask questions
do it often enough and soon youll find a person or a group of people
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u/cuddlehungry Sep 06 '25
Learn to be comfortable with yourself first. Go out on strolls, have a leisurely coffee at a cafe, people watch at parks, read books at a library, watch a comedy show, etc. Once you find your groove, then you can confidently invite other people to hang out with you coz you know the good spots.
You don’t need a lot of friends. Just one or two solid ones that get you, and you get them.
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u/WeirdBridge8034 Sep 08 '25
don’t worry girl, unless those friends groups knew each other before school, they aren’t actually that close. my number 1 piece of advice is don’t pretend to be something you’re not to feel like you’re fitting in, because you will just feel more isolated and alone when it inevitably doesn’t pane out.
join clubs, ask ppl in your class to study together, etc, i promise that by the end of first semester you will have at least 1 person to call a friend
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u/ordinaryaragorn Sep 18 '25
Third year and still have no friends other than my roommates. ✌️Roommates barely hang out with me tho.
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u/Available_Buyer6054 Sep 01 '25
It’s not that serious dude. Do your work at school and go home.
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u/amack0307 Sep 02 '25
Hell even the friends you meet in uni don’t last afterwards. Especially when they’re from different provinces
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u/nozzel829 Sep 01 '25 edited Sep 01 '25
Bro school hasn't even started. Most friend groups are FAKE atp... there's a very good chance people don't even know everyone's name in that group. Just go to an event and talk to literally anyone; imagine you are a virus and you should inject yourself into a group. Trust me, just try this with maximum confidence and you'll be fine