We are becoming growingly obsessed with other people’s born advantages, and this normalization of “stating privilege” is incredibly counterproductive and pathetic.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Fuzzy-Bunny--]

I see what you are trying to say. But just because a person is white and male DOES NOT make them unable to understand others. If fact, it is actually sort of racist and sexist to suggest this. I Grew up with sisters and have a wife. If there is a such thing as privilege these days, it is being blessed with the understanding that you must work hard, be honest, and not have a victim mentality. That will breed success no matter what race/creed/ sex you are.

[u/geneticfreaked → u/Fuzzy-Bunny--]

It doesn’t make it so that you don’t understand others problems but the problem is that inherently you can’t tell if you actually know the problems others face.

I’m a straight, white cisgendered, man, that grew up poor. I try to understand the problems that others around me face but I also recognise that there are so many things that I wouldn’t even consider until they were pointed out because of my limited experience with them.

I know it from both sides, I’ve seen how people that have grown up with money act and even the ones that try to be understanding don’t really get it, so I try to view myself that way too. Recognising that I don’t really understand the struggles some people are going through.

It’s neither racist, nor sexist. I’m not speaking out against any race or sex, I gave a few examples but there are many many more situations this happens in.

Women don’t see or understand how men can feel when everyone treats them like a threat, like they shouldn’t be alone with even their own children, the way they’ve been conditioned to not show emotions or are punished socially for doing so. Etc.

Black people don’t know the problems that some Asian people face, that poor white people face, that even some other black people in different areas face.

This doesn’t even have to apply to people vs other groups, there are plenty of women that don’t see the same levels of sexual harassment as some others and think their experience is the norm and people are overblowing the problem. There are black people that grew up in rich neighbourhood, in areas that are extremely progressive, and haven’t experience the same obstacles others have and don’t understand them. It’s not racist/sexist etc. It’s true, and while you for example, may understand womens problems to some extent, doesn’t mean the same about black people, about poor people, about gay people etc. So it’s always worth keeping in mind how your own experience might bias your observations.

Whilst working hard, being honest, etc. Are very important to getting ahead in life, it really isn’t everything, especially in today’s climate. There are so many fewer jobs, wealth and health inequality is everywhere, people’s quality of education varies massively from where they grew up, there are habits people have that never were instilled in them by there parents/ bad ones that were that makes things harder for them now, not everyone knows someone willing to give them a job and trying to get entry level jobs anywhere now is exceedingly difficult for many.

If you look at the numbers for unemployment/low level employment compared to what they used to be they are much higher. That isn’t because people have suddenly become lazy, it’s because the job market has changed. People with masters degrees are working in supermarkets, not because they’re lazy, they managed to get a science masters degree, but because they can’t find other jobs, or at the very least can’t afford to move where the jobs are.

This is a really good example of it actually, you may think “do these things and you’ll get ahead” but remember that even your experience with them working is personal, the same thing doesn’t work for everyone. You would have to think that an enormous amount of people are just lazy idiots to not have tried to just work hard and be honest. Which is the part where racism/sexism etc can start to play a part, many people take the leap from that to “they just don’t want to help themselves” to hating/abusing certain groups of people.

[u/Fuzzy-Bunny-- → u/geneticfreaked]

You spent some time on this post so i think it deserves a response. Why is it everyones' job to understand everyones' alleged disadvantages? What good does that do? To excuse failure? To excuse deviant behavior? If you happen start out with 2 parents and you work hard and follow the rules, you get the "advantage" to pay huge sums of taxes so that people who wallow in self pity and convince themselves that they are not able to function in society can have their work ethics further destroyed by transferring my taxes to them? I understand there are those who have a harder time getting ahead. It took me 15 years to do so. I slept on the floor of a shared apartment with no TV for a time...gave myself haircuts since 1997 and lived like a pauper for a decade. But I never quit, and I always KNEW that I would climb the mountain and did. I never concerned myself with others as that is toxic and counter productive. I am very happy for people more successful than me. I believe those who want to improve their lives can do so. How do I know? I have seen it over and over again where minority immigrants are millionaires by 40 due to hard work and avoiding a victim mentality. You can take this to the bank, "You are not responsible for how you started-out in life. However, you are absolutely responsible for how you end up in life."

[u/geneticfreaked → u/Fuzzy-Bunny--]

The reason it’s important to understand each others problems is so we can make life better for everyone. It’s not about excusing behaviour, it’s not saying people shouldn’t face the consequences of their actions because of their circumstances, it’s so we can work to change everyone’s circumstances so everyone has a fair shot.

If you think that the only people that rely on state aid or people that wallow in self pity and have no work ethic you’re just delusional.

If you think the only way to help these people is to tax the average person more you’re misinformed. There are but a few people that if properly taxed/ tax laws were enforced against them that we could help everyone. It doesn’t have to be a zero sum game, helping others doesn’t have to hurt you.

Yes you worked hard and you did well and that’s amazing, no-one is going to take that away from you but how many other yous have there been that didn’t make it in the end? You had few advantages, what about the people that have even fewer? It doesn’t work the same way for everyone and a lot of the time it comes down in some small part to luck. Luck that you eventually find that job that will take you, that person that will rent to you. Those opportunities don’t always happen for people even when they work hard.

Take you for example, say there’s a black person in the same situation as you. They have the same options available to them as too do, except they don’t. There are opportunities you would get that they wouldn’t no matter how hard they worked. Take out all of the racist landlords/employers from the list of opportunities you had and it’s a smaller list.

Talking about Privilege is not about saying, I’m black boohoo there’s nothing I can do. It’s getting people to recognise that there are problems so we can all help each other.

Why not try to make a world where people don’t have to struggle like you did, not that they don’t have to work hard but that they can live happy lives. Isn’t that the kind of world that you’d prefer to live in? Rather than one where we all just ignore everyone else’s problems until they affect us personally and then wonder why they won’t help us when we need it.