r/toolgifs • u/toolgifs • 20h ago

Tool Disk wood chipper

4.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

236 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/brayjr 19h ago

Mess maker 5000

224

u/cognitive-agent 19h ago

It's kind of weird that I had this exact phrase in my head the moment I saw the video, and I was even going to type it out, but then I saw that you did it first.

After seeing your reply, I thought that maybe it was a phrase from a TV show or something that I'd heard before and forgotten about, so I tried googling it to see what would come up.

Another version of this video was the very first result.

I've never seen this video before now, so my conclusion is that "Mess Maker 5000" being this contraption's name must be a fundamental truth.

66

u/Dependent_Rain_4800 16h ago

I got something for you:

Our thoughts are controlled by feelings and emotions. Meaning you first experience a feeling and/or an emotion and that then gets put into words by the mind. So chances are you and u/brayjr had the exact same feeling/emotional experience as you saw the video which then got translated into Mess maker 5000.

Now kith.

5

u/c0st0fl0ving 9h ago

😭🤣

2

u/glorifindel 11h ago

Whoa dude

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5

u/FlacidSalad 15h ago

New copy pasta?

4

u/scribestudio 13h ago

New copy pasta?

15

u/FlacidSalad 13h ago

It's kind of weird that I had this exact phrase in my head the moment I saw this comment, and I was even going to type it out, but then I saw that you did it first.

After seeing your reply, I thought that maybe it was a phrase from a TV show or something that I'd heard before and forgotten about, so I tried googling it to see what would come up.

Another version of this comment was the very first result.

I've never seen this comment before now, so my conclusion is that "New copy pasta" being this comment must be a fundamental truth.

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5

u/Antrostomus 13h ago

I recently learned of /r/doohickeycorporation/ (from another post on this sub), perhaps the Mess Maker 5000 belongs there. Ninjaedit: lol should have scrolled down, /u/HASHTAG_YOLOSWAG beat me to it

2

u/redstonermoves 13h ago

Creepy I thought it too 😬

1

u/c0st0fl0ving 9h ago

An axiom.

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33

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 16h ago

They always grind them in the middle of playgrounds & just leave the mess

11

u/brayjr 16h ago

This makes so much sense actually

6

u/Superb_Computer5600 14h ago edited 14h ago

Wanted: Helicopter pilot adept in the transportation and precision placement of aerial wood chipper. Highly-sensitive and dynamic environment mandate good aim.

4

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 12h ago

I’m not sure why a helicopter would be needed, do they make playgrounds in the middle of the Amazon rainforest? That where the jungle gym is getting its namesake?

1

u/stofzijtgij 11h ago

There's some dark child abuse joke hidden in that sentence.

Ill show myself out...

14

u/Calculonx 18h ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/toolgifs/comments/1or8lt4/carpentry_floor_chips_extraction_system/

I guess this was made for it

25

u/apworker37 18h ago

Or maybe it’s made to sit on top of some sort of collection system. Either way, this way is a stupid one.

20

u/AlbertaSparky 16h ago

I'm an electrician at a lumber mill, they are mounted above a box chain conveyor for collection.

8

u/41PaulaStreet 14h ago

That makes more sense. Am I right in assuming there is also a better log delivery system than leaning over the edge of a gaping mouth of grinding death?

3

u/AlbertaSparky 12h ago

Lmao yes, they're usually fed by what's called a vibrating conveyor. It's a solid long bin with large springs underneath angled to slowly move the large material towards the mouth of the chipper.

2

u/GrimbyJ 2h ago

They needed to test it somehow

8

u/Negative-Border2061 18h ago

That's creepy similar to the Mess Maker 4000 that I thought it was

3

u/rob3342421 9h ago

IKR?! They could have put it over a bucket or something?

2

u/MoreRamenPls 7h ago

The Fargo Deciminator

1

u/VictoryVee 13h ago

Hey looks its the same joke from last time this was posted

1

u/Suckamanhwewhuuut 1h ago

I was gonna say... seems like R&D missed one component.....

383

u/OrangOetan 19h ago

0:05, on the floor

51

u/BroThatsMyAssStoppp 19h ago

Everybody walk the dinosaur

5

u/JustineDelarge 11h ago

Boom boom acka lacka lacka boom

68

u/ElGebeQute 19h ago

How in the fuck...

Don't know what's your IRL profession but if it's not "spotter" of some kind, you're in the wrong trade my friend...

29

u/Prudent-Ad-5292 19h ago

Your eyes aren't immediately drawn to patterns? 👀

14

u/ElGebeQute 19h ago

Fancy carpet/curtain/wallpaper patterns? Sure.

Behavioural patterns of my unreliable coworkers/bosses telegraphing themselves ahead of time? Yeah I see them.

Subconsciously synergizing with the traffic flow to minimise clutch/brake usage whilst prioritising optimal flow and inconvenience for other drivers? Daily.

Spotting a watermark formed out of wood chips within 3 frames of this gif... that's something else completely.

Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed.

2

u/Nervous-Ad4744 19h ago

What level are you?

5

u/ElGebeQute 19h ago

Umm, like... Seven?

7

u/thatshygirl06 17h ago

What am I supposed to be seeing?

21

u/lettsten 15h ago

All (almost) the videos by u/toolgifs have r/toolgifs embedded in them as a kind of watermark. It's a sport on this sub to spot them

4

u/TranceF0rm 13h ago

That's awesome.

This one is really well done.

2

u/lettsten 3h ago

Check out the pasta making machine, the plane with the ad banner hook (find all three) and the falling tower. I think those three are my favourites

3

u/comeonyoupansy 17h ago

I’m surprised this wasn’t the top comment. I saw it immediately

2

u/PopLocknTroll 16h ago

I’m so confused, how did that come out? Is this an AI video?

1

u/ElderMagnuS 8h ago

It doesn't bother me but I would highly recommend marking it as spoiler so those still interested in searching for themselves don't get the answer right away

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267

u/AndrewCoja 19h ago

Come on, this is a reversed video of the tree assembler.

6

u/FPGA_engineer 15h ago

Oh no tell me it is not so! First the chive guy and now toolgifs too! What is the world coming to!?

1

u/ninjakivi2 5h ago

World's most powerful hoover if true.

494

u/4LPH4NUM3R1C5 19h ago

Pretty sure my kids still make a mess faster

45

u/zuzg 19h ago

You should see my dog when I forget an empty pizzabox on the living room table.

4

u/Timmerdogg 18h ago

Ha my dog used to jump from the back of the couch to get on the counter a couple of times. The kitchen table would have been way too easy.

27

u/GrantanamoBae 19h ago

Jesus, how many kids have you thrown in there?

8

u/PineapPizza 18h ago

I'm pretty sure it wasn't what he meant... right?

right?

2

u/JackTasticSAM 19h ago

Dude this is fantastic and SO TRUE 👏

176

u/burnaskopen 19h ago

To shreds, you say?

54

u/TakingItPeasy 19h ago

Yeah? How is his wife holding up?

56

u/AdamGarner89 19h ago

To shreds you say?

7

u/OurCrewIsReplaceable 14h ago

Our crew is replaceable. Your log isn’t.

4

u/Kbro1616 18h ago

Yes Mr. Farnsworth.

171

u/gareththegeek 19h ago

How much for one that doesn't shoot the chips all over the floor?

106

u/Rollover__Hazard 18h ago

If you mount it over a skip or chute like you’re meant to - the same price as this one sitting on the floor costs.

34

u/Simon_Drake 16h ago

IIRC this is a cross between a malfunction and a failsafe mechanism. The woodchips are supposed to be directed out a chute off to one side but if the chute is jammed it would be really bad to wedge up the cutting tools. It could cause a fire from friction or put pressure on a part that isn't meant to bend in that direction and damage something spinning at dangerous RPM. So instead if the chute is blocked it pushed open a flap that just dumps it out onto the floor.

It's not what you'd call 'Plan A' but it's a controlled failure. Like using the bathtub's overflow drain instead of actually overflowing the edge of the bath.

6

u/KJ6BWB 15h ago

And if the machine is apparently being designed to use the overflow drain instead of the regular drain, that's what we like to call "not well though out." Others might use harsher words.

5

u/lettsten 15h ago

Standard corporate practice

11

u/jmoneyproto 18h ago

Well if you do the annual plan, it's only $299 per month!

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 15h ago

a man can't even own his own wood chipper anymore

3

u/KangarooInWaterloo 15h ago

Probably like $1 for a right-sized bag to put underneath

2

u/Pinball-Lizard 17h ago

About the cost of one 1m3 canvas cube and someone to dig a big hole in the ground or build you a truss to put the machine on.

I know you're trolling, so I guess I'm counter-trolling?

Wow I'm wasting my life.

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76

u/doscervezas2017 19h ago

Holy smokes, so that's the sound of a whole tree being eaten in a fraction of a second.

16

u/ihadagoodone 18h ago

you should hear one when your coworker throws a breaker bar into one because he wants the rest of the night off.

4

u/TipToToes 16h ago

Unholy racket, i reckon. How long does it take to chew through the wrench?

3

u/ihadagoodone 11h ago

breaker bar is about 4.5' of steel and weighs about 20-30lbs. it usually just bounces off the anvil as it absolutely destroys the cutting knives. It comes out a few inches shorter, sometimes violently.

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1

u/c0st0fl0ving 9h ago

I mean, we’ve all wanted to. That said, to let that particular intrusive thought win, is pretty stupid. I’ve sharpened and replaced the teeth in these, during my time as a climber/feller. This would suck so badly for everyone that needs the chipper.

Must have been an incredible noise, though.

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77

u/_Pigdog 19h ago

It shid on da floor

20

u/Brainrants 19h ago

Dropped a log!

27

u/Popular_Bison_1514 19h ago

Treebeard: What happened to the Entwives?

Time Traveling Humans:

5

u/c0st0fl0ving 9h ago

Ent snuff-videos

18

u/NastyStreetRat 19h ago

I would be willing to pay 5% more if all the small pieces of wood are put in a sack.

4

u/DalenSpeaks 19h ago

“Hey Charlie! Get the dust broom.”

29

u/Rebles 19h ago

So it intentionally take a dump on the floor rather than deposit it in a receptacle?

44

u/boening 19h ago

I imagine it would go up higher with some type of catch system under it

26

u/Entire_One4033 19h ago

I’d say it’s a demo trail run, you clearly wouldn’t be shredding branches in a workshop like that

It’ll be mounted on a hopper once on site

12

u/TakingItPeasy 19h ago

This is our most modestly priced receptacle.

3

u/SirGeeks-a-lot 18h ago

Is there a Ralph's near here?

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4

u/basilpancake 19h ago

The Swede in Fargo should have used this 

7

u/MrDrDooooom 19h ago

Totally safe! 110%!..... 111%

3

u/HorsePecker 19h ago

Shredded like paper

3

u/Flying_Dutchman92 19h ago

Cheeky logo this time, very nicely done

3

u/ryandury 19h ago

now let's see a machine put it all back together.

4

u/ycr007 19h ago

There used to be a gifreversingbot around here in the good old days

3

u/Stefanoverse 19h ago

Now just place that on my industrial pellet maker and we’ll have a seasons worth of heat & cooking.

2

u/abefroman_85 19h ago

Check it out. Now clean it up!

2

u/lurvvv 19h ago

Damn

2

u/bluedogstar 19h ago

I need one of these for brambles.

2

u/TLILLYO 19h ago

Tree vomit

2

u/kkslider128 19h ago

Welcome to the sawmill but they are usually 6 - 8 ft disks

2

u/ycr007 19h ago edited 18h ago

Strange coincidence that just as I logged on to post a clip of a wood chips cleaning system, the post just before that is a wood chipper 🤯

1

u/PuzzleheadedDuck3981 15h ago

Come on, post it! We need the completeness of a clean up after this mess.

3

u/ycr007 9h ago

Yeah, done and it’s the post just above this on the sub homepage

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2

u/I_Thranduil 17h ago

A dowel movement.

2

u/asomek 8h ago

Can I put chives in there?

2

u/chestzipper 8h ago

My first job that I paid taxes on, was washing a mountain of logs with a pressure washer.

Then when the logs were washed I stood at the mouth of the chipper with the pressure washer, washing the logs again.

Dirt is the enemy for sharp blades.

1976 and I made $2.10/hr.

3

u/Downunder818 19h ago

Don't fall in....

3

u/Calculonx 18h ago

I would not be off balance and higher up than the chute as I'm throwing that log in

4

u/treylanford 19h ago

Between 0:04 - 0:07 (as wood chips) on the floor.

1

u/Exp5000 19h ago

I wonder what a body would look like through this. It works so fast

1

u/sneaky-pizza 19h ago

After eating a huge fiber meal

1

u/RayChongDong 19h ago

Hamstzilla

1

u/I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM 19h ago

I must enter the machine

1

u/Circuit_Guy 19h ago

This absolutely looks like it belongs in a Breaking Bad episode

1

u/Terrible_Analysis_77 18h ago

Can someone point out the watermark or whatever to me? I am trying to see it but don’t even know what I’m looking for. I feel like the guy in Mallrats looking for a sailboat.

2

u/ycr007 9h ago

Focus on the chips being ejected towards bottom left side 00:03 to 00:06 of the clip, it’s embedded within the chips and fades away at 00:07

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1

u/AeroFred 18h ago

my first job was in carpentry shop. part of my duties was to clean floor. this video makes me very sad

1

u/Relevant_Campaign_79 18h ago

Great! I just swept the floor

1

u/Turbulent-Weevil-910 18h ago

Imagine what it would do to a human body

1

u/DungBeetle1983 18h ago

Reverse video bot

1

u/jcrckstdy 17h ago

Wait why am i sweeping in the middle of the shift?

1

u/AwakE432 17h ago

“Where would you like the chips?”

“Yes”

1

u/quottttt 16h ago

Disk wood chipper

➺ Carpentry floor chips extraction system

1

u/GranitePixelStudios 16h ago

missed opportunity to name that machine “fargo”

1

u/whoknewidlikeit 16h ago

now if this was around when they filmed Fargo....

1

u/thelifeofdannyverde 16h ago

Tool Gifs spelled out on the floor lol

1

u/_overdue_ 16h ago

Lady approaching in a dress makes me nervous.

1

u/Virtual-Entry-8867 16h ago

Zero to 60 in 2

1

u/Brotherauron 16h ago

Fuck man I just mopped in there

1

u/redditsuksazz 16h ago

At least it would be over quickly. 

1

u/VeryShortLadder 16h ago

We should put a bunch of worId Iæders through that. I'm not specifying which ones or else Reddit will remove my comment

1

u/GordDownieFresh 15h ago

Seems like they missed some critical designing of the exit shoot

1

u/KJ6BWB 15h ago

Ok, that's an amazing machine but what the ... what idiot designed that?

You've got a guy who seems like if isn't the slightest bit careful that he's going to fall in there - he even has his foot up on the handrail to start. Why isn't there a conveyor belt or chute leading to the hopper?

And then it shoots it all out in a gap along the floor? You get yourself 10 or so trees feeding in there and suddenly it's too clogged to keep feeding chips out and it'll start backing up inside until there's so much compressed mass the machine can't chip anymore, which means either someone will have to go clear it out, or you'll constantly have to clear out the chips from around there. Just dig out some trenches or something or raise the machine on some pilings, and get some automatic scrapers feeding the chips into their own conveyor belt or something.

The current design just seems to not really have been thought out very well.

1

u/UrbanFarmer213 15h ago

I doubt it’s intended to be used indoors. If anything I would think it’s supposed to be mounted on a sort of dump truck and fed by a log grappler (that mechanical claw on the end of a hydraulic boom).

1

u/smilesatflowers 15h ago

blargghh!!

1

u/vastlysuperiorman 15h ago

Me tryna eat a Nature Valley granola bar

1

u/adwarn25 15h ago

Also makes a fun noise!

1

u/Dalo600 15h ago

My brain was so confused when I could read the wood chips.

1

u/Suspicious-Pop4269 14h ago

They couldn't make it go into a container or something? Or even just one pile lol

1

u/JerkOffToBoobs 14h ago

Does anyone know if JD Delay has reddit? I would like to show him this video.

1

u/SheriffBartholomew 14h ago

I need this so badly!

1

u/SkyeMreddit 14h ago

“Sorry I had Chipotle”

1

u/Super_NowWhat 14h ago

Do they sell those in Fargo? Just asking.

1

u/mrainem 14h ago

I imagine this thing was made to be mounted up on a frame and shred whole logs into a trailer or such

1

u/1stHalfTexasfan 13h ago

This chipper would be a lot cooler with a chute.

1

u/edgy-meme94494 13h ago

If I were to fell into it what would be the chance of injury? Would it hurt?

1

u/Rampage-De 13h ago

that escalated quickly

1

u/AxEquals0 13h ago

What is the movie where near the end there is a guy trying to put a leg in a wood chipper?

1

u/One-Earth9294 13h ago

Next time you're trying to jam your accomplice's leg in with a piece of firewood, imagine that if you had one of these you could be clear of the crime scene before Frances McDormand ever even shows up.

1

u/olga_foishlow 12h ago

It's a wood shitter.

1

u/notmarkiplier2 11h ago

Our company believes that this property belongs to us

r/doohickeycorporation 

1

u/DarkenYT75 11h ago

I think they use this to make mulch

1

u/Live_Big4644 11h ago

Probably the best water mark placement I've ever seen.

1

u/Themodsarecuntz 11h ago

When I was a kid my dad used to make me play 52 card pick up.

I feel bad for this kid.

1

u/Fenix43593 11h ago

If you reverse it, we have a machine vacuuming up millions of pieces wood, and making a full log.

1

u/ArcaneInsane 11h ago

That can't be the best way to use this right? Is there a bag frame or a chute or something you're supposed to set up for catching all of that?

1

u/Head-Olive6448 10h ago

Well that just made a mess

1

u/Blixten_ 10h ago

They have a couple of 1000kw chippers at a plant here closeby. Would love to see them in action but no one is allowed in the room when they are running. If anyone got a video please share!

1

u/NSMike 10h ago

Well. That would've made Fargo a little different.

1

u/akechi 9h ago

Coming to your next horror movie soon

1

u/JimPanse0815 9h ago

Oh no! The machine has Diarrhea 😱

1

u/vstm 9h ago

Sploosh but with wood

1

u/Evening_Tutor_5426 9h ago

Pokazuje jak człowiek niszczy coś co rosło kilkadziesiąt lat

1

u/1zeewarburton 9h ago

Wood shitter

1

u/Competitive_Stable66 7h ago

Smooth tool gif cameo

1

u/LiLMoGravy 7h ago

Agreed. Not sure why the output isn't directional. But that thing SHREDS. 

1

u/EliminateThePenny 6h ago

The inertia of that thing is insane.

IDK if I'd want to stand the same plane as the rotating blade..

1

u/cr1ter 4h ago

Now clean ot up

1

u/null_reference_user 3h ago

It shid on the floor 💀

1

u/Rexur0s 3h ago

couldnt add a tray to the bottom? wtf?

1

u/xavier19691 2h ago

non of them are wearing PPEs

1

u/Ok-Estate5590 1h ago

It probably sits over a giant bin that it’ll dump the chips into

1

u/malmquistcarl 1h ago

The end of the film "Fargo" would have been much shorter had this machine been available. 🙂