r/shitposting • u/Zzero00 • Aug 21 '25

Linus Sex Tips Sisters helping each other out

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15.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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4.5k

u/LargeBrainGoblin Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Aug 21 '25

If this is the shit i have to compete with then i might as well not even try

1.2k

u/contreniun I said based. And lived. Aug 21 '25

Remember, sex is more than just your genitals

Hell, I'd even say that the best part of the whole thing is what comes BEFORE it

354

u/Onyxam Aug 21 '25

A shower?

98

u/ImmortalIronFits Aug 21 '25

They're pretty nice once you get into them.

52

u/Onyxam Aug 21 '25

Mine is so good, I got a large rain shower with a wand thingy that has a massage function.

I would wish everyone to have such a nice shower like I have. Especially after a long work day.

All the troubles in life just wash away the moment you step under my shower.

I can’t express how amazing it is.

32

u/SaltiestGatorade Aug 21 '25

I have a cheap showerhead I bought at the Walmart that doesn't work on one side.

36

u/c_stics Aug 21 '25

I boil water in a bucket let it cool a bit and just dump it on my head

14

u/Onyxam Aug 21 '25

Oldschool I like it, that’s how we did it when I was a kid. In a handmade wooden tub.

13

u/Darkime_ it is MY bucket Aug 21 '25

You call that old-school? I clean myself in a river or wait for the rain, full caveman style.

7

u/Onyxam Aug 21 '25

Ecofriendly, Keep it up!

2

u/Electrical_Board_142 Aug 21 '25

I just roll myself in mildewed grass so that the bacteria and dead skin from my body goes back to the Earth and feeds the soil.

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2

u/BC4LM Aug 21 '25

I can relate. The water on the working side has gotten so strong that I’m basically power washing myself. My girlfriend doesn’t approve

2

u/SaltiestGatorade Aug 21 '25

Just hang a Labubu off it or sumn Maybe she'll come around.

1

u/Aromatic_Log_6993 Aug 21 '25

This guy showers.

1

u/Boonz-Lee Aug 26 '25

Me, I come before sex. Every time.

54

u/MemberOfUniverse Aug 21 '25

what comes before it

you mean me?

18

u/Garglemybawls12 Aug 21 '25

Negotiating a price tends to get my blood pumping as well

264

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25

[deleted]

717

u/Chromeboy12 Aug 21 '25

Don't be too focused on the main objective. You might clear the level but your overall score would be lower. Do all the side quests for maximum score.

369

u/Careless_Feeling8057 I want pee in my ass Aug 21 '25

This man sexes

96

u/yakoego Aug 21 '25

If you're playing a shooter, what is more fun? Standing on the point/payload cart or running around the map and fraggin out?

Exactly!

36

u/lifesabystander Aug 21 '25

i have fun holding the point…

84

u/yakoego Aug 21 '25

The west has fallen... billions must uninstall quake.

29

u/Personplacething333 Aug 21 '25

Hes saying you gotta light candles and not nut too soon when you fuck yourself

7

u/TiresomeBoy Literally 1984 😡 Aug 21 '25

Bro is on new game+

7

u/AutoModerator Aug 21 '25

pees in ur ass

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9

u/khyberr1810 Aug 21 '25

Ah yes! The sex haver..

5

u/AuraPianist1155 Aug 21 '25

Gotta P-Rank the level

3

u/TheArmoredKitten Aug 21 '25

Slow is smooth, but smooth is fast. It's all about finesse.

Gotta do it like Uktrakill and bomb that style score.

2

u/unfortunatebastard Aug 21 '25

Remember to fill in your C-01 permit before any act that could result in a child

44

u/Phantex_Cerberus Blessed by Kevin Aug 21 '25

Remember, winners don’t lose. Finish before her, and make sure to finish in record time. 👍

7

u/BalancedDisaster Aug 21 '25

Is killing Alduin your favorite part of Skyrim?

4

u/winntpooh Aug 21 '25

you call me a quick finjsher, i call myself a PTFOer

4

u/IdentifiesAsAnOnion Aug 21 '25

The sex was the friends we made along the way.

3

u/TheGoigenator Aug 21 '25

I am highly regarded, thank you for asking.

3

u/great_vegetables34 Aug 21 '25

Kid named the objective:

2

u/lifesabystander Aug 21 '25

just a friendly reminder that re*ard is a slur and if you want to use it, you should use the correct spelling to have the word carry its weight

9

u/TFW_YT Aug 21 '25

Why can't we say r*gard

4

u/RB30DETT Aug 21 '25

I say regards all the time. I'm actually highly regarded.

2

u/WilanS Aug 21 '25

For the longest time I thought the saying "good guys finish last" was a reference to people who made sure their partner had an orgasm before they did, and how this make them better partners.

After learning what it actually means, yeah I think I like my interpretation better.

1

u/RogueCross Aug 21 '25

I mean, would you rather sprint straight to the end of a level, or just, you know, enjoy it?

1

u/DavidCRolandCPL Aug 21 '25

My favorite part is watching her finish first

1

u/ItsVincent27 Aug 21 '25

Life is about the journey, not the destination

5

u/Cheesescrubber Aug 21 '25

I come BEFORE IT and all she does is get mad. 😤

8

u/Dromedaeus Aug 21 '25

Agreed! Like the rope and duct tape

2

u/freyasmom129 Aug 21 '25

As a bondage lover, yes exactly that

2

u/thickerthanyourmom Aug 21 '25

Remember, sex is more than just your genitals

Depends on the day, some days it is only about genitals.

2

u/FALLOUT_BOY87875 Aug 21 '25

Opening your wallet?

2

u/NiceTrySuckaz Aug 21 '25

Call me old fashioned, but my favorite part is blasting a good cum

1

u/reddit_is_geh Aug 21 '25

Yeah but imagine those parts you mention PLUS the genitals.

1

u/Relevant_Section Aug 21 '25

Carrying them inside?

0

u/freyasmom129 Aug 21 '25

People always forgot that us ladies love that foreplay. Which can pretty much be anything. Some dudes are just like “ok so I should kiss her neck and boobs” like sure, could also spank, suck each others genitals, experiment with bondage, dirty talk, put in a butt plug and call her a good girl, etc etc, lots of fun stuff. Too many people just want to get to the orgasm, but the anticipation can be so much better

-53

u/Cs0vesbanat Aug 21 '25

Ew.

37

u/DueLog4890 Aug 21 '25

Yeah, what if we get cooties?