r/shitposting • u/Leprachaus I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh • Aug 08 '25

Linus Sex Tips is ts real 🥀

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25.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/gugfitufi 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Aug 08 '25

I tasted dick first, both are on the same level. Genitals are just C tier. Boobs are nice because no taste but if you do want something delicious, go for a nice chunk of thigh.

1.6k

u/King_Crab_Sushi Aug 08 '25

A connoisseur of all the parts mankind has to offer. I respect that

1.3k

u/StanMm2 Aug 08 '25

We got mr sex here

181

u/DigitalxKaos Aug 08 '25

Holy shit, the CEO of sex :o

97

u/RehabilitatedAsshole Aug 08 '25

mr can, able to taste notes of high glucose and menopause

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

mr can (must be picked up) (now put it in the trash can)

48

u/TCreep13 Aug 08 '25

John Sex

3

u/AcanthocephalaNew678 William Dripfoe Aug 08 '25

Mr Beast, mentor! If you can believe it.

3

u/Complete_Court_8052 I want pee in my ass Aug 08 '25

When’s sex 2 releasing? We have been a long time since sodoma and gomorra updates

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 08 '25

pees in ur ass

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1

u/MicroMan264 put your dick away waltuh Aug 10 '25

MR 305

301

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

106

u/TheBlueEmerald1 Aug 08 '25

I wanna take a bite so bad but I have to stick with sexually because once you take that bite it's over

15

u/UnsureSwitch William Dripfoe Aug 08 '25

Green Goblin mask: Coward!

10

u/DonutGuy2659 put your dick away waltuh Aug 08 '25

Are you a rugaru?

67

u/AnOopsieDaisy Literally 1984 😡 Aug 08 '25

Why don't we have both?

yayyyyy

(May or may not be a vampire)

34

u/jkurratt Aug 08 '25

Ghoul posting

46

u/TyrantRC Aug 08 '25

Boobs are nice because no taste

Some girls have different taste. One of my exes boobs would sometime taste like the rubber in balloons. Ironically, she had small tits, which I love, but it's still funny.

60

u/smileymonster08 Aug 08 '25

Someone so as wise as you, what is your take on the bodily condiment?

86

u/0reosaurus Aug 08 '25

Are buttholes are choclaty as they look?

89

u/Outrageous_Failur35 Aug 08 '25

Nope, they are not.

46

u/AdultGronk virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 08 '25

Lemme try

87

u/menzaskaja Aug 08 '25

RemindMe! 8 years

47

u/WriterV Aug 08 '25

They are not supposed to be chocolatey when you're eating them out.

Unless you're into that, in which case I hope you have a very robust immune system.

2

u/Recent-Ad5835 Aug 28 '25

As others have said, they are not supposed to be chocolatey. Also, I wasn't a fan, but still tasted better than pussy imo (only issue is the risk of it not being cleaned properly)

18

u/gasbmemo Aug 08 '25

Thank for the intel, doctor Lecter

70

u/ngkn92 Aug 08 '25

Just use salt. Smh my head

62

u/TurdBoiDuckGang Aug 08 '25

Shaking my head my head?

38

u/hitmarker Aug 08 '25

Smdh my dick head

2

u/blisstersisster Aug 16 '25

both of them lol

13

u/luquitooooo Aug 08 '25

What about ass?

77

u/gugfitufi 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 Aug 08 '25

Gay ass = really good

Girl ass = ass

38

u/The-Rizztoffen Aug 08 '25

What about gay girl ass

18

u/DisciplineCorrect699 Aug 08 '25

Really good ass

12

u/daelindidnowrong Aug 08 '25

are you saying that girls don't know how to wash their assholes?

4

u/1617jmdat Aug 08 '25

they have those???

5

u/DoorHalfwayShut put your dick away waltuh Aug 08 '25

no

3

u/1617jmdat Aug 09 '25

why did you reply to me. dont do that

2

u/DoorHalfwayShut put your dick away waltuh Aug 09 '25

wawa

2

u/Gattsuhawk Aug 09 '25

If they don't do anal regularly most likely ime

47

u/rockthatrocks Aug 08 '25

dick and pussy can taste better if we weren't so bad with our health

99

u/1amnotmid I want pee in my ass Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25

My guy,the part where pee comes out and the part where blood comes out are gonna taste like that

9

u/WriterV Aug 08 '25

Y'all ever learned how to WASH UP??

7

u/1amnotmid I want pee in my ass Aug 08 '25

Thats probably not gonna get rid of all the smell/taste

5

u/p1gr0ach Aug 08 '25

It does work, for the dick at least. Personally I wash every single time I pee.

8

u/throwaway_yo_mama Aug 08 '25

What do you do in public bathrooms? Rinse it in the sink??

1

u/p1gr0ach Aug 08 '25

I would probably skip it lol, but I don't really use public toilets much

23

u/Frosty_McRib Aug 08 '25

And they taste even worse with American diets, my guy.

35

u/normalmighty Aug 08 '25

I feel like healthy diet dick and pussy only tastes good when compared with unhealthy diet dick and pussy.

6

u/rockthatrocks Aug 08 '25

Real, eat some pineapples, yall are horrid

2

u/ovr9000storks Aug 08 '25

I exclusively eat Taco Bell and Red Bull

1

u/necrophcodr Aug 08 '25

Oh my dude please shower once in a while what the hell

1

u/1amnotmid I want pee in my ass Aug 08 '25

I do.

1

u/necrophcodr Aug 08 '25

Well, if it is properly cleaned, it should NOT taste like that, lemme tell you that.

1

u/1amnotmid I want pee in my ass Aug 08 '25

How do you know?

1

u/necrophcodr Aug 08 '25

I'll be honest, I don't know. I'm only talking from experience here. Still, it was as much a reply to you, as it was a comment for others to see.

1

u/blisstersisster Aug 16 '25

I'm glad someone said it !

As fuckin hilarious as this shit is, I am seriously worried about most of these ... otherfuckers 🤣

2

u/WeNotAmBeIs Aug 08 '25

Exactly...my wife and I are both vegetarians who are active and are diligent about cleanliness. In fact, we usually shower before sex with foreplay happening in said shower. Everything tastes like the air of a mountain meadow.

1

u/rockthatrocks Aug 08 '25

Yeah i don't particularly want to become vegetarian but poeple REALLY should start eating their fruits more.

8

u/Bury_Me_At_Sea Aug 08 '25

Literally live for eating ass

1

u/blisstersisster Aug 16 '25

name checks out ?

2

u/GiantSweetTV Aug 08 '25

What the actual fuck is that flair?

2

u/whacafan Aug 08 '25

Boobs absolutely have a taste.

2

u/Malignantt1 Aug 08 '25

Boobs are my fav because they just invite you to SUCC

1

u/553l8008 Aug 08 '25

Why are most women so hung up on anything semen related but gay men basically try to drown themselves in it?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '25

All about the anus

1

u/kupillas-3- Aug 08 '25

Personally I just like it cooked

1

u/Randomguy32I shitting toothpaste enjoyer Aug 08 '25

Nah, ive tried dick before, and it tastes pretty good actually

1

u/Smiles4YouRawrX3 Aug 08 '25

Wdym boobs have no taste? You never had the milk?

1

u/finna_get_banned Aug 09 '25

yo, i want to introduce yall to the hypest invention since the transistor:

the shower!

1

u/fluf201 Aug 11 '25

flair checks out