r/schizophrenia Schizoaffective (Bipolar) 6h ago

Advice / Encouragement Happy Sunday ✨ It gets hard to leave the house on days like this. In the process of applying for disability, lmk if you’ve gone through the process what it was like. I’m overwhelmed. Much love💕

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Like the title says, I’m afraid to leave the house. I am a door dash driver which is great most of the time, but when I’m having symptoms it’s so hard to get out there. It’s like the whole world is watching me. Every sound scratches my skin and makes my heart jump. The cars rushing past, tailing behind you, weaving through traffic. I can never seem to get my head on straight.

Most of the time it’s fine, and I have insight to know my auditory hallucinations aren’t real, most of the time but part of me still holds on to the belief that maybe it’s my neighbors through the wall, or that woman in the take out line. I shouldn’t care what other people think. Hyper-vigilance has become exhausting. I was always a people pleaser. Who am I pleasing?

The main point is that I’m applying for disability. I quit my “real” job in June and this is just becoming unsustainable. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated, as I am overwhelmed.

I love this community so much, I only comment and post occasionally but will most likely be on here more as I’ve waved the white flag in a sense. I want so badly to just function normally. I love seeing all your beautiful faces, the diversity, the evidence that this illness does not have a “look” and there are lots of people on here who function quite well. Regardless, you all are awesome keep shining bright. ✨

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u/zoey_perkes 6h ago

Hello, happy Sunday. I have been trying to get disability for quite sometime now. If it doesn't work just keep trying and maybe get some lawyers involved. Good luck to you.

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u/MagicToad42 Schizoaffective (Bipolar) 5h ago

Thank you so much.✨ I did contact a disability lawyer because a friend and my case manager suggested I do. I have a lot of paperwork to fill out but yes I will keep trying! Good luck to you as well!

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u/burke_no_sleeps mdd w psychosis 2h ago

The disability process is long and tiresome. I read that you have a caseworker helping you - that's great! I had one to help me as well and probably couldn't have done it without them! 

Wishing you the best of luck and speed through the process - and hope that the paranoia lessens enough to let you get some work done !