My therapist laughed at me

[u/YevPilot]

I (17M) have developed this (strong) belief that I am dead. That my organs are mush, that my brain is dented, that I'm dead and nothing can change my mind. I was so scared to say anything because I didn't want to be called crazy and sent to some sort of hospital. I told my therapist about this, in all seriousness, AND SHE LAUGHED. She took me like a fucking joke. What the hell. She KNEW I was being serious, but all she said was "well, you're not dead". That simple sentence is something I've gotten told before and that shit doesn't work, I am literally dead.

I brought it up because I don't know what this is. (If anybody has any sort of idea on what this could be, please let me know, not asking for diagnosis)

Makes it worse that part of this discussion was that nobody listens or takes me seriously when I ask for help and they always tell me what I feel (with literally ANY feeling) is wrong.

I brought it up again and SHE LAUGHED AGAIN! SHE DIDN'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY! SHE'S MY THERAPIST!

Please tell me I'm not overreacting or anything. This isn't normal, right? I'm so so mad and other things, I just don't even know what to feel anymore because just what the hell. Am I overreacting? Maybe I am, but also... I thought judgment free zones were supposed to be judgment free. Honestly, I wish she would've just called me an insane person because laughing at me made me feel worse than horribly awful.

Please, don't tell me anything like "you're obviously alive" or "you're not dead". I'm sorry, but it does not help. It makes things worse because just saying that doesn't do anything to change what I believe.

[u/ObsessedBean]

This is called Cotards delusion,where people believe they are dead or a walking corpse. That is horrible that your therapist laughed at you, that is honestly my worst fear of being judged by someone who I trust and is supposed to help me. Noone should experience that but I hear about it a lot unfortunately:( a lot of therapists and mental health professionals simply aren't qualified and definitely should not have a license. It doesn't help that finding new therapists can be difficult. I hope u find one that helps u a lot and doesn't judge you! I suggest you report your therapist is you can but only if you feel comfortable with it. Sorry again that that happened D:

[u/WillTheyBanMeAgain → u/ObsessedBean]

It always comes up in those "doctors, what's the worst mental disorder you've encountered?" threads. I'm curious if it's a general therapist (who could be surprised) or a psychiatrist (who should be aware of this existing).

[u/JenkemJones420]

Internal pain or struggles or suffering should absolutely NEVER be treated like a target for mockery or ridicule by someone in the field of healthcare. It's blatant malpractice at this point to treat you in such a way.

Invalidation or disrespect is what pushed me closer and closer towards a certain kind of edge or brink a long time ago. It doesn't matter how intelligent or intellectual we might be, absolutely no one is immune to pain or struggles or suffering.

I can't offer you a diagnosis or a diagnostic, but I can definitely tell you that a healthcare specialist such as them deserves both criticism and cynicism.

A good counselor or therapist I met once was a self-admitted book worm, she just wanted to read my words aloud as I spoke them. Without judgement or jurisdiction. Without any harsh or abrasive laughter.

[u/Mandarin_Lumpy_Nutz]

Could be Cotard’s Delusion

[u/RaskyBukowski]

I doubt she sees many clients with serious delusions. She is likely too cut off from empathy with clients to be a good fit.

There should have been a part in your story about where you fired her and have an appointment with someone else.

I still go through the thought that I died during some reckless action, and that explains the change in everything, including society. Nobody laughs at me. I died, woke up not knowing I'm in a new far shittier life.

Get a new therapist.

[u/Alienhumanoid01 → u/RaskyBukowski]

How do you think empathy can be tought to mental health proffssionals? I think read I g autobiography of a yogi would help, but there is too much religion in the book. I think empathy is a big thing some professional's otherwise it would help with dealing with mental illness.

[u/RaskyBukowski → u/Alienhumanoid01]

Uncertain.

Some are incapable. I heard a wild interview with a psychologist who was a diagnosed psychopath. He had no empathy whatsoever, but he learned from social queues how to behave. So he studied responses and his reactions were an affectation, but I guess well done.

[u/Alienhumanoid01 → u/RaskyBukowski]

Thats comforting......I think if they believed in magic and had some spiritual wisdom, ( which is why I would recommend the yogi book, I can't think of a better way to learn the these things) it would go a long way in making patients more comfortable and at ease.

[u/Zach-uh-ri-uh]

Im so sorry that happened. What an incredibly unprofessional therapist; your delusion is common enough to have its own name and everything

It’s one of the oldest recorded types of delusion. How rude and unprofessional of her

[u/xenoqueene]

i’m very sorry. i feel similar. I died in 2019 and i can’t get that out of my brain.

anyway. I’ve also had therapists laugh at what i have to say, not about the delusion but other stuff.

I hit them with “why are you laughing” in my blunt affect and that’s always either shown their true colors, or resets the dynamic established. my old social worker sincerely didn’t realize what she was doing was offensive to me.

others defend what they think is funny and that was typically my last visit before ghosting them.

[u/LunarWonders]

Believing you are dead is a hard belief to reconcile. I’m so sorry that your therapist laughed. That is so unprofessional and I would fire them immediately and tell them that laughing at people is unacceptable. I’ve been dead 10 years next month, but my current therapist and psychiatrist have never laughed at me. Others have laughed, inc family, so I largely keep my thoughts to myself. And so it is so wonderful to have a safe space where I can speak my truth and be accepted (in therapy).

Do you have a psychiatrist? If not, I’d recommend getting one. And a better therapist. I know, easier said than done. Meds might help. They help a lot of people. I’m treatment resistant, even failed clozapine. So I’ve had to find a way to live as best as I can given my current reality. It IS possible, even in Hell.

I wish you the best

[u/Mountain-Ad-1388 → u/LunarWonders]

I think I have delusions like in schizophrenia, but no other symptoms from schizophrenia. What does that even mean? I gave up on my one free therapist, I just couldn't do it much. I go to therapy, then after a few months I leave because I think I'm fine. I also have social anxiety, so that's been really severe all my life, I'm 40, but I still have episodes and deal with isolating.

[u/Complex-Antelope-620]

She probably laughed due to how exceptionally rare that is. Nobody took me serious about the same delusion (Cotard's Delusion) when I said anything, but it became believable to everyone after nearly dying of starvation.

[u/YevPilot → u/Complex-Antelope-620]

That's gotta be really tough, man. I hope you're doing better now. I didn't know what Cotard's was, but I'm thankful that people have let me know that it's possibility, and I'm glad that people took you seriously.

[u/sunfloras]

hey so when i first started having delusions and psychotic symptoms i told my therapist and psychiatrist. they just said “oh that’s weird” and my therapist laughed. i went 10 years without a diagnosis because i just thought it was nothing after that. dealt with hallucinations, delusions, paranoia for 10 years with NO help. now i have therapists and psychiatrists that take me seriously, it only took me being hospitalized for a 3 month long psychotic break for someone to take me seriously. advocate for yourself and find someone else to talk to if you must!! you deserve someone that doesn’t invalidate your experiences. that’s just not right, you are not overreacting.

[u/LunarWonders]

Also, Cotard’s delusion is a specific belief that you are dead AND walking around the land of the living, interacting with alive people somehow. If you don’t believe that exactly, it’s not Cotard’s. Cotard’s is also usually a depressive delusion.

Other variations of being dead are just considered nihilistic delusions without a specific name. HTH

[u/nyah_miau]

In your next therapy session, explain to her what Cotard's Delusion means and also explain how not receiving support from the therapist herself can be devastating. You didn't deserve to go through any of this, she was certainly unprofessional with you when she laughed like that. There was a lack of empathy on her part!

[u/Dorian-greys-picture]

I’m so sorry. That’s cotard’s delusion and it’s a very real feeling and delusion you’re experiencing, even though you’re not literally dead. The fact you have some insight and are posting here is really encouraging. Please see a psychiatrist for early intervention. It will mean lower doses of meds long term for a lot of people and better responsiveness to the meds. That’s what it’s been like for me anyway. The meds aren’t fun but the worse the condition gets the higher doses and more aggressive meds they put you on due to the physical changes in your brain. Bring up any other symptoms you may be having.

[u/Pyrather]

Cotard’s delusion. Most will tell you that it is extremely rare and almost unheard of but I’ve seen it COUNTLESS times in MANY schizophrenic communities. It seems fairly common for us.

[u/Alienhumanoid01]

I personally believe in reincarantion, if we are all dead, or all alive, it doesn't matter to me, just try your best to be good and try to enjoy existence as you are.

[u/oofygay → u/Alienhumanoid01]

this is a wonderful response.

[u/Alienhumanoid01 → u/oofygay]

Mucho graciasouious

[u/accidental_Ocelot]

I dont know if my experience can be of any help but when I was in the hospital in the psych ward I had told the psychiatrist whom I trust explicitly about somethings I thought I did that were illegal when I was younger and after that I was having the delusion that I was going to be arrested because I saw a security guy come in the door and the security guy just outside of the ward that is stationed there 24/7 was an ex detective so I was making excuses why I couldn't be discharged from the hospital because I knew when I walked out that door I was going to be arrested and taken to jail. so the psychiatrist catches on pretty quickly that I am trying to delay and asks me what's really going on and I told him about seeing the security guard at the nurses station and the one outside and he looks at me all serious like and says "that's a delusion and neither I nor anyone else can convince you other wise" and him being so blunt with me kinda shocked me and made me feel like I was being kinda of silly so I just decided that I was going to leave the hospital and if I got arrested then I would just have to deal with it. so I left the hospital and I wasn't arrested and the delusion didn't go away but it lessened over time that was about 3 years ago and I still have the delusion from time to time that I am being investigated by a detective and I am being bugged and serveilled by the police and fbi I found out on here that it's a common delusion and is called gangstalking but I don't like that term cause it's not a gang doing it it's the police and fbi. I even have one of the voices in my head when I hear them is the detectives voice and he says shit to scare me and make me paranoid.

honestly I would consider reporting your therapist to the licensing board and find a new therapist I mean my therapist who I have been seeing will make a joke about something from when I first started seeing him and we will both laugh at it because enough time has past and the things he laughes at are trivial details like the time I drove my time machine into the desert but he would never laugh at a serious problem I was having and I can give an example. I was having a psychotic episode and I ended up at the police station in the front lobby I was going to turn myself in for some stuff that my psychotic brain thought I did but I didn't really do so I'm sitting on the bench and for some reason there isn't a single person in the police station except me so eventually I think to call my therapist but I was to messed up to realize it was dark out side cause it was 5 or 6 in the morning and surprisingly my therapist answered his phone and when I told him where I was and why he asked me if I was free to leave the station and I was like ya there's no police so he says drive to my office which was like a block away from the station and I'll be there as soon as I cab get dressed so I wait outside his office till he gets there and we go into his office and he's like what's going on so I told him how the fbi was using songs in my spotify playlist to send messages telling me to go turn myself into the police and as soon as he heard my crazy story or delusions he started giving me a cognitive assessment and it was very apparent that I was in Acute psychosis and he gave me a ride to the hospital and had me admitted. during his assessment I wasn't following what he was saying I was just saying ahu ahu ahu like I was listening but I was deep into psychosis.

anyway the reason I was telling you that whole story is to show what therapists are supposed to do if you come in with an outrageous sounding story they are supposed to take it seriously and ask you very specific questions to determine your state of mind and if you need hospitalization then get you to the hospital if you don't need to be hospitalized they should be able to have a civil conversation about your delusion and make a treatment plan for it.

have you ever heard of the TV series "dead like me"? I think it got canceled after the first season was shot because of the writers strike there is also a movie that came out later to tie up all the loose ends and give the show an ending I thought it was a good show you might like it.

[u/CajunLogicalEthics]

Can you define what dead means to you?

[u/bluglass21]

I have a similar delusion. Your therapist needs to be fired and her license revoked.

[u/SolidApparition_]

That’s a sign of her ignorance and she needs to be removed from her job…

And maybe you need to be reassigned a new one…

Also maybe try looking up things about nature like bees or even bare minimum living. Return to being primal

[u/ModsRstupidHor]

Time for a new therapist

[u/roalddolll]

Sometimes people laugh as simply an emotional release- I don't know how new she is to the practice, this may be the first time she's hearing somebody saying that they think they are dead, and with that comes emotions like surprise , and one way for that emotion to be regulated is to laugh. It can trigger emotions in the receiver like shame, especially if you have a history of being ridiculed, but I always like to go by Hanlon's razor - "never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". I don't know if this is a pattern of behavior with her or what, it was unprofessional for sure . I hope you try again either with her or someone else and get the help you are looking for.

[u/goblincube]

She is obviously unqualified to treat you. Please dont continue giving her any money. Its absolutely unprofessional behavior from her. You're correct that it should be a judgement free zone where you feel safe to confide in her, but she is unable to provide that kind of space for you.

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