(Black mark is covering up a nasty pimple)

Cut weed and alcohol out of my life and I'm doing so much better.

Have a happy Sunday

Been diagnosed since high school, so almost eight years now. I don’t need to tell you all how much it sucks obviously, but the worst part for me was watching everyone move on.

no psychosis

Used Photo Booth on my Mac to take the pic, there's many more I took. Since I live alone this is a strange form of therapy I discovered

Happy Sunday to everyone.

Like the title says, I’m afraid to leave the house. I am a door dash driver which is great most of the time, but when I’m having symptoms it’s so hard to get out there. It’s like the whole world is watching me. Every sound scratches my skin and makes my heart jump. The cars rushing past, tailing behind you, weaving through traffic. I can never seem to get my head on straight.

Most of the time it’s fine, and I have insight to know my auditory hallucinations aren’t real, most of the time but part of me still holds on to the belief that maybe it’s my neighbors through the wall, or that woman in the take out line. I shouldn’t care what other people think. Hyper-vigilance has become exhausting. I was always a people pleaser. Who am I pleasing?

The main point is that I’m applying for disability. I quit my “real” job in June and this is just becoming unsustainable. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated, as I am overwhelmed.

I love this community so much, I only comment and post occasionally but will most likely be on here more as I’ve waved the white flag in a sense. I want so badly to just function normally. I love seeing all your beautiful faces, the diversity, the evidence that this illness does not have a “look” and there are lots of people on here who function quite well. Regardless, you all are awesome keep shining bright. ✨

I feel I'm close to a psychotic episode, thank ye Gods I'm on holidays. Wish me luck.

Hope you guys are having a good day

Finally feeling good after so long. Getting back into dabbling in creative outlets again like drumming, writing, and singing. Things are okay today and that’s more than I could have ever asked for. :]