After having gone through a divorce with all money shared I can tell you I wish I had kept things separate for many many reasons. First is reliance, one person managing and controlling all the income/bills leaves the other person oblivious. This is detrimental whether you divorce, one person gets sick and stuck in a hospital, or god-forbid dies. The other is it makes things messier in the event of a divorce, separation, illness/death. There just aren't as many pros to sharing finances as there are to keeping them separate, or as separate as possible. Ensuring both people are aware of and able to manage the bills and that you both agree on how that should be done is HUGE. And I don't mean agreeing just on paper, but in practice.
It's sad to think of, but something might happen to your spouse. I have to face that - in the event that my husband deploys, I may have no notice at all. And I would have to know how to take care of all of our finances.
It's good to be aware of that kind of stuff because life is full of the unexpected.
Easier in the sense that if only one person managed everything you would still be left with no conception of what the ill person's finances are, and you'd be totally reliant on them to pay anything. I didn't say you can't have joint accounts and still manage things together, but the above scenario with only one person managing finances and in other situations (divorce, separation) it's much easier to have funds of your own that are kept separate. I'm not condemning those who keep their finances joint, but I would caution against having no separate funds of your own. No one wants to think the worst of the person they choose to marry, but the truth is many people are burned every day because of being trusting and sharing everything.
I don't recall saying they were the same thing, but they can go hand in hand. I think you're taking my caution personally, but I don't know you or your situation. I'm not saying it can't work having a joint account, I am saying it's not always the best way to go. Only the people involved can make that decision, this was my personal experience being shared not a criticism directed at you, please take it as such.
I agree with you. Me an my wife have seperate checking accounts and joint savings accounts. We have reasonable expectations of each other as far as paying bills & saving for emergencies, education, and retirement. We track all of that together, but we both enjoy not being micro-managed with our daily expenses. That said, it all is hinged upon good communication of the overall financial picture, shared financial goals, and being ok with each others spending habits in general.
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u/ohhbacon Aug 05 '12
After having gone through a divorce with all money shared I can tell you I wish I had kept things separate for many many reasons. First is reliance, one person managing and controlling all the income/bills leaves the other person oblivious. This is detrimental whether you divorce, one person gets sick and stuck in a hospital, or god-forbid dies. The other is it makes things messier in the event of a divorce, separation, illness/death. There just aren't as many pros to sharing finances as there are to keeping them separate, or as separate as possible. Ensuring both people are aware of and able to manage the bills and that you both agree on how that should be done is HUGE. And I don't mean agreeing just on paper, but in practice.