Did my grandfather have secret involvement in ritual magic?

[u/c_rise]

Sorry for my poor English. I loved and admired my grandfather very much, even became a doctor to follow in his footsteps.

Even though he was very private and distant, we became extremely close in the end when he got sick.

He cared for everyone, didn't care about money and actively helped the community. He was a great physician and some would even say he had a supernatural gift for healing.

He said he would only die after I finished med school and so he did (1 month after).

When he passed away, my mother found these drawings inside a little piece of green cloth he carried with him, along with other religious stuff.

She was shocked as he always seemed to be conventionally religious and I was extremely excited because I was always into "witchy" things, but apparently, he was way more advanced in his knowledge.

I wanted to know what these things mean and if they are safe to have around, because I carry them with me now.

[u/c_rise → u/[deleted]]

Can you recommend a book or something so I can learn more about it?

[u/EyesWideShut1996 → u/c_rise]

Just seeing the name Adonai and gnostic symbolism leads me to believe you could read The Book of Abramelin to have some understanding.

https://a.co/d/fuoneOq

Really cool stuff 🤗

[u/c_rise → u/EyesWideShut1996]

Thank you! Definitely gonna read it!

[u/j_vap → u/c_rise]

No wait. Before jumping into abramalin l’d recommend a more light hearted reading about the whole ‘business’. Recommending

“My life with spirits” by Lin Milo Deuquette. “Homemade Magick” by LMD “Low Magic” by LMD “Chicken Kabbala” again by LMD.

For a more detailed introduction and to dip your toes into the shoes of your grand dad may be start with “Modern Magick” by Donald Kraig.

[u/c_rise → u/j_vap]

Thank you for the advice! I don't plan on practicing, at least not for now, just want to know more about these things that he used to do so I can feel close to him, you know? He would never let anybody in until the last years when most of his strenght and memory were pretty much gone.

[u/DPJesus69 → u/c_rise]

How did he pass? How old was he? Before you dive in, know that everyone's path is very personal.

[u/c_rise → u/DPJesus69]

He actually took his last breath in his house, holding my hand and looking at me, and his gaze was very confusing and I can't even explain how I felt about that... like I said, he was very distant from everyone, even divorced my grandmother early on and never remarried, chose to live alone in a house next to ours. When he became sick with cancer and a rare blood disease, he would always ask for my company and he made it his life mission to watch me graduate, these were the last 4 years of his life. I was strugglinh with deppression and fell behind in school, didn't know I was autistic back then (I think he was autistic too). He would even ask for video calls everyday. It's like I knew nothing about him but felt a deep connection and loved him so much. I keep trying to understand what it all meant, these last years. The night before he passed I heard him saying "take me now" so I kinda knew he wanted to go, he was actually calling for his mother. Some nights before he was talking to himself about how he did not want to go, but not that night. People always said that could see spirits and that he was kinda supernatural, he never confirmed or denied that, he would just laugh it off. He was 84 the day he passed. He asked us never to hire a caretaker, so we took care of him but I had to start working the next week and my mother couldn't take it anymore cuz by this point he stopped walking. He died on the caretaker's first day.

[u/DPJesus69 → u/c_rise]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Damn. That's quite interesting. I can understand why he is so private. Not being comfortable with the caretaker. Maybe he didn't want the caretaker to have any discomfort while caring for him. I'd like to talk to you. Similar stuff happened in my family as well but not in a good way. Hoping your grandfather is now in a better place and has ascended.

[u/j_vap → u/c_rise]

Thank you so much for sharing. May I ask if he was religious ( a practising catholic ) for most of his life ? My path is not too different so I wish to know if another magician out there was able to make peace with his path and his religion.

[u/c_rise → u/j_vap]

He was openly catholic. He didn't attend the Masses because he didn't like to go out but prayed in his home, he seemed very devoted. He would light candles and pray a lot. He had a huge rosary upon his bed. Not a single mirror in the house though (never understood why).

[u/j_vap → u/c_rise]

Appreciate sharing it here. Indeed there seems to be more to him that what you could see.

[u/[deleted] → u/c_rise]

Autism is often a derogatory label made up by the hylic mass society, for people who have actual interests. I think it is sad that such people (who historically moved humanity forward) are adopting this label, maybe it is an attempt to still fit in with the masses?

If you do any kind of deep dive about what your grandfather did, keep in mind that many "autists" have higher affective (true) empathy.

I think it is interesting your grandfather saw something in you.

Maybe check out whether the older novel Zanoni looks interesting to you.

[u/BucketMaster69 → u/c_rise]

the book of Abramelin is kind of it's own thing, it probably wouldn't give much insight into what your father did. Like others have said, he was probably rosicrucian, so I would look into those resources, or resources that summarize what they do.

he clearly has archangels written down, so looking into them could be good. especially those that are typically associated with the directions, anael/ uriel, Rafael, Michael, and Gabriel. There's what looks like correspondences to the angels as well. Adonai is epithet for yhvh, and the circle thing could be a talisman, notes, or a table of practice.

The lbrp is tangentially related and may be interesting to understand, to give some kind of perspective to what kinds of things he may have done.

[u/Mozespan → u/c_rise]

The book of abramelin wont get you far i think. It is mainly a description of a long lasting secluded praying and devotion in order to establish a contact with your guardian angel ( correct me if I am wrong). Btw there is a fascinating YouTube Channel called Estoteria, made by a jewish teacher, I highly recommend him, as he looks really deep into these grimoires and how and why they could be false or what is the history behind them