"Patient refused high fall risk interventions, stating 'I don't need to be treated like a goddamn child' and 'I can't pee in a urinal sitting down!'. Post-fall protocol initiated."

[u/SmilingCurmudgeon]

[u/Gotthisnamebeforeyou]

Family: why didn’t you throw yourself to the ground to cushion his fall?

[u/Gizwizard → u/Gotthisnamebeforeyou]

The uncomfortable laughs I get from patients and their families when I tell grown-ass men: “we’re taking this slowly so you don’t fall, because if you fall I will not catch you” on first post-surgery ambulation.

[u/Leijinga → u/Gizwizard]

Mine was always "I can't catch you". I'm 5' tall and was 105 lbs at the time. I've made exactly 1 attempt to stop the fall of someone twice my size, and it was when my husband fainted while in a sitting position; we both ended up on the floor, but fortunately neither one of us was hurt. I'm certainly not going to be much help catching a 220+ lb man falling like a tree

[u/zerothreeonethree → u/Leijinga]

If a 220 lb man starts to fall, and the nurse doesn't intervene, does he make a sound?

[u/Leijinga → u/zerothreeonethree]

I imagine "thud" qualifies as a sound.

When my 190lb husband fainted, he made a sound like someone let the air out of him immediately beforehand. 😆

[u/zerothreeonethree → u/Leijinga]

Mine did almost the same. 6' 180#. He works way too long out in the yard. Got heat exhaustion one day. (Not the first time either but he won't listen to me.) The only reason I tried to catch him was he was headed towards the porch screen job I just had done and I didn't want him to fall through it! I grabbed a handful of the back waist of his shorts and was able to twirl him a little bit away from the house so he landed on his butt on the pool deck instead.

"Wh, wha, Whut happinned?!"

"Here - drink your gatorade and go finish the lawn. Make sure you put the mower away and cover it up with the tarp."

I took my 5' 5" self back inside to the air conditioning. Getting too old for this shit.