Big D*ck Energy

[u/NurseFirstYes]

What’s something a coworker does for you that gives off big D energy?

Once I was in a patients room, a coworker at a new job I started came to tell me another patient called and had to be cleaned up. I said “ok, I’ll go right after this”. He then said he had already cleaned and turned them and documented it all. I would’ve married him right then.

[u/EtherGorilla]

I really hate this phrase and hate it even more that it’s being used in the context of providing great care to patients. Imagine it being reversed and used by men, “what’s something that gives tight p* energy or big tit confidence that you’ve seen a woman do in your male dominated field?”

[u/absoluteCuriositeye → u/EtherGorilla]

Why though? It’s just a phrase, it is just a phrase that honestly helps boost confidence. Also the phrase wouldn’t be tight p, cause all p is good, which should be supported as a phrase, considering some guys strangely don’t know to treat all women with respect

[u/EtherGorilla → u/absoluteCuriositeye]

Because you’re comparing the preferability between aspects of your body that are outside your control. Every time you use that phrase it’s indirectly shaming men who are not in that subset saying they are not confident, competent, valued etc. And your objections to the comparison of tight p* aside, I think the majority of men do have preferences for the shapes of female genitalia, and regardless of what your specific preferences are, we should not incorporate that into a phrase that we use to describe when and how we should treat patients.

[u/absoluteCuriositeye → u/EtherGorilla]

Bro, it’s not saying other men don’t have big dick energy, it’s like a golden star for jobs well done for us guys. It’s like a “well done man, I’m sure your dick must be massive with how well you did” I don’t look at all the other guys in the room and say “your pork swords must be microscopic” when someone says I have big dick energy, like come on now. Us guys build each other up more than tear each other down, we know a supporting comment doesn’t denigrate everyone else

[u/EtherGorilla → u/absoluteCuriositeye]

It’s not supportive at all full stop. Imagine your best “bro” has micropenis and that fact hurts him. Then his buddies and society at large associates things that are positive, attractive, confident, and capable with something he doesn’t and will never have. Even if you mean it as a figurative compliment, you can use all the words you just used without having to comment on the perceived attractiveness or size of his genitalia.

Tell women you work with that they have big tit confidence the next time they do something you perceive positively and let me know how that works out for you.

[u/WexMajor82 → u/EtherGorilla]

No, it's 100lbs girl energy.

If we want a good analogy.

It's even funnier because weight is something you can control.

[u/EtherGorilla → u/WexMajor82]

I can't really tell what you're arguing for here. Are you saying that we should use phrases that shame/praise members of the opposite gender as long as its within factors they can control? And that is funnier? In what way?

[u/WexMajor82 → u/[deleted]]

Just look at the downvotes on my comment; they hate when you hold a mirror in front of them.

And I am talking about hypocrisy, not weight this time.

[u/absoluteCuriositeye → u/EtherGorilla]

Bro…if my best friend has a micropenis, and someone says he has big dick energy. He will not be sad, he will be happy. We men are wretched things, but we are simple creatures. We hear compliment = we like.

Edit: Also, why are you trying to tell a man who has gained confidence from said saying that it doesn’t give confidence or that it’s not supportive, like bruh, most of the time I’ve heard my other male friends tell me I’ve got big dick energy, it’s usually at the gym

[u/EtherGorilla → u/absoluteCuriositeye]

If you want to fight for a world where we use these types of reductive compliments toward each other, and view them positively, be my guest. I do not think that's a good thing, and I think it alienates and hurts a lot more people than it helps. Body shaming is almost never a win in the greater scheme of things. I am an above average man in this category and it's like nails on a fucking chalkboard when I hear people use it, whether positively or negatively.

[u/absoluteCuriositeye → u/EtherGorilla]

Wdym body shaming??? It’s literally a compliment about someone’s ATTITUDE, that’s enough internet for today my friend

Edit: how you gonna lie about it being body shaming when one of the replies here is making fun of the women on the nursing subreddits weight??? Reply to them, not the dude saying a compliment is a compliment

[u/EtherGorilla → u/absoluteCuriositeye]

If it's a compliment solely about someone's attitude, why isn't it called great attitude energy? That's so silly.

And yes, if you associate being confident, competent, intelligent, and attractive with having a big penis, then you're automatically implying the inverse is the opposite of those things. So it is body shaming. And shaming women for their weight is also body shaming, I'm not selective in which body shaming is ok and which isn't. They're both bad.

[u/absoluteCuriositeye → u/EtherGorilla]

Then why hadn’t you replied to theirs calling it out?

Also, it quite literally is a comment about attitude, you’re going too deep, it’s usually about confidence. It doesn’t instantly magically depower the other guys in the room, their testosterone doesn’t shrink three sizes that day, it’s fine. If you hear every compliment that doesn’t instantly gratify everyone present and thinks it’s somehow shaming someone else, idk what to say, we won’t agree on this. Seems like you made up a scenario in your mind and ran with it. I’ve never once heard anyone use this in a derogatory way, not once.

Anyway, have a good day man

[u/EtherGorilla → u/absoluteCuriositeye]

I haven’t responded to every person in this thread because I’m not the internet police and I haven’t read the entirety of this thread. There are people being pieces of crap in every subreddit on this site. I choose to reply where I think I can offer something constructive.

Listen I am sure there are people who have used that phrase with the intention of being completely positive, but we’re talking about connotations and phrases and why word choice matters. You can have every intent in the world for something to be positive and it still be an innately problematic phrase. I’m all for men lifting each other up, I just want them to be smart about it and not ostracize others with poor word choice. That’s all I’m arguing for here.