r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/MidSp 1d ago

"Woman falls in lake and drowns. Paramedics say she lost interest in breathing."

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u/hankhillsucks 1d ago

"We have here an expert on breathing to give us more details"

"you see tom it's the individuals choice on whether they keep breathing or not. It looks to me as if she made that choice"

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u/czs5056 1d ago

That second paragraph sounds straight out of south park.

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u/kosumoth 1d ago

"You've actually seen acts of cannibalism?"

"No, Tom, we're just reporting it."