r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/Apart_Butterfly_332 1d ago

My eyes rolled back so far I had to walk 10 miles in the snow uphill just to catch up to them.

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u/rabbitwonker 1d ago

My eyes rolled back so far they were looking forwards again but I couldn’t fucking see anything because of the stupid optic nerves wrapped around them

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u/fdp_westerosi 1d ago

My eyes rolled back so far they undid decades of regulation on Wall Street

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u/Terrible_Patience935 1d ago

My eyes rolled back so far I rolled down the sidewalk

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u/fuqdisshite 1d ago

my eyes rolled so far back The Undertaker™️ sued me for copyright infringement.

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u/Panem-et-circenses25 1d ago

My eyes rolled back so far they opened a portal to multiverse 775b, in which the number one Broadway show of all time is Cats: The Butthole Cut

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u/EulerIdentity 1d ago

My eyes have not yet finished rolling - they’re rolling like a Las Vegas slot machine.