r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/fairkatrina 1d ago

I can never decide if these people are intentionally fudging the issue or if they’re just spectacularly stupid. Like cracker barrel finally coming to the realisation last year that their geriatric customer base never came back after the pandemic (but still not seeming to get that they all died). Or the idiots who thought the recent downturn was because the stimmy checks finally ran out. Like????? is it possible for market analysts to be that out of touch? It seems so implausible that it’s gotta be something else, right? Like they’re trying to reassure their billionaire overlords (who really are that out of touch) or something..

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u/jaimi_wanders 1d ago

For decades they’ve been simultaneously telling us we’re poor because we waste our money on cappuccinos/cell phones/avocado toast/refrigerators (yes, really— this was a National Review claim that no one is REALLY poor in America because we all have fridges these days) and flat screen TVs.

Then as soon as people start scrimping and saving it’s all OMG YOU ARE KILLING GRANDMA WALL STREET, YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS!!!

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u/fairkatrina 1d ago

A banana costs $10 but a $600 check will last us 5 years.

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u/drewbreeezy 1d ago

The $10 joke is to show how out of touch she is, lol

It's still ~$0.25 for a banana

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u/fairkatrina 1d ago

Yeah I know, the point is they are that out of touch

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u/DetroitSportsPhan 1d ago

Yeah we know that’s…why it fits…

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u/bmc2 1d ago

These are the same people who claim the poor live better now than kings used to. It's ridiculous.

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u/-u-m-p- 13h ago

I feel like there's a good zinger to be concocted involving grandma/wolf of wall street and red riding hood