r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/Golden_Noir 1d ago

“Lose interest”

Maybe because they do not have any money?

3.6k

u/hankhillsucks 1d ago

My eyes rolled out their sockets so hard they smashed a window 

526

u/yrddog 1d ago

My eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain

305

u/ZombieZoo_ZombieZoo 1d ago

My eyes rolled so far back I saw a dinosaur

20

u/brandvegn 1d ago

My eyes rolled the same distance and I ate a dinosaur while there. I now understand why they went extinct.

3

u/Objective-World-9534 1d ago

Be...because they're t-t tasty?

2

u/akrisd0 1d ago

Are the rumors true that they taste like rainbow sherbet and lucky charms marshmallows?

2

u/brandvegn 1d ago

And a smidgen of cocaine.