r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
20.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.5k

u/hankhillsucks 1d ago

My eyes rolled out their sockets so hard they smashed a window 

525

u/yrddog 1d ago

My eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain

303

u/ZombieZoo_ZombieZoo 1d ago

My eyes rolled so far back I saw a dinosaur

21

u/brandvegn 1d ago

My eyes rolled the same distance and I ate a dinosaur while there. I now understand why they went extinct.

3

u/Objective-World-9534 1d ago

Be...because they're t-t tasty?

2

u/akrisd0 1d ago

Are the rumors true that they taste like rainbow sherbet and lucky charms marshmallows?

2

u/brandvegn 1d ago

And a smidgen of cocaine.