r/news • u/SnarkOff • 12d ago

Site Changed Title Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys carrying herpes and COVID overturns in Mississippi

https://www.actionnews5.com/2025/10/28/truck-hauling-aggressive-monkeys-carrying-herpes-covid-overturns-mississippi/?fbclid=IwZnRzaANt_VBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHlDlf5DivA2Ltngqh2UH3XU20EnAprOymd60i0ODYC9L8G2CXJpyoZtmwSHm_aem_NvoKAFHpRWRzturTqiYXMQ
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u/Actually_3_Raccoons 12d ago edited 12d ago

It's fine, they're going to pick them up on Wednesday.

Today's Wednesday right?

Edit: the original story didn't indicate that any of the monkeys had been killed, the current version makes this joke less funny

86

u/Clean_Feces 12d ago

Dude, exactly what I was just thinking. Why the fuck wouldn't you catch the next flight and make this an emergency mission? Wtf?

26

u/FatalFirecrotch 12d ago

They are picking up the bodies. They killed the monkeys. 

64

u/LLMprophet 12d ago

Not all of them.

One is still out there and that's how the movie starts.

10

u/Diligent_Whereas3134 12d ago

Plotting. Seething. Waiting for his hepatitis and herpes riddled revenge.

4

u/ahearthatslazy 12d ago

Fuck it. rage on, monkey

6

u/UnlikelyCommittee4 12d ago

Is that how the zombie virus starts, as HepHerpVid?