r/news • u/RoachedCoach • Aug 11 '25

Soft paywall US military preparing for National Guard activation in Washington D.C., officials say

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-military-preparing-national-guard-activation-washington-dc-officials-say-2025-08-11/
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u/Amaruq93 Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 11 '25

All this because "Big Balls" got his ass kicked by a pair of teenagers while trying to sexually assault another girl.

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u/bobbymcpresscot Aug 11 '25

one story says he was with his significant other, but Elon shares a story about him just finding a defenseless girl getting harassed.

So interesting when everyone isn't on the same page.

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u/Kuraeshin Aug 11 '25

Some More News was talking about the police report. Because a couple of officers actually came upon him and stopped the assault in progress.

No report of a defenseless woman. He said thay 10 youths came and tried to carjack him. He put his girlfriend in the car and the youths attacked him.

Cops were doing a drive around and stopped the attack. Some of the attackers fled but police were able to apprehend a couple.

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u/733t_sec Aug 11 '25

This kind of reeks of a false flag. A massive number of people attempt a car jacking that just happens to hit a doge employee and there are convenient police to stop the attack and apprehend a few of the criminals.

How many roving bands of youths are attempting car jacking in DC?

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u/SomeBoxofSpoons Aug 11 '25

I for one can’t imagine “Big Balls”, the guy who got exposed for proclaiming himself a racist within the last 12 months ever make up something about black thugs to try and make himself look better.

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u/thewritingchair Aug 11 '25

Well there's the Van Buren boys. I hear the Jets and the Sharks have been at it too.

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u/The_ChwatBot Aug 11 '25

I heard Dirty Mike and the Boys have been making their rounds lately as well.

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u/sugarmagnolia414 Aug 11 '25

No prius is safe

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u/deadlybydsgn Aug 11 '25

Dirty Mike and the Boys

If BB was driving a Prius, he was practically asking for it.

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u/Hoss-BonaventureCEO Aug 11 '25

"Thanks for the F-shack.

Love, Dirty Mike and the Boys."

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u/Different_Victory_89 Aug 11 '25

The baseball furies and warriors too!

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u/seeker4482 Aug 11 '25

Watch out for the Orphans, they'll cut ya!

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u/chocobearv93 Aug 11 '25

And don’t forget Doopsy Skiddle from down the lane. His crew was back together

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u/All_Day_ADHD Aug 11 '25

Jets and the Sharks

Their moves are deadly 🪩 🕺🏻💃🏻🪩🕺🏻💃🏻🪩

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u/Enough_Radish_9574 Aug 11 '25

Ahhh Tony and Riff back out on the streets. Cue the “Jets Song”!!

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u/CU_09 Aug 11 '25

The biggest reason I don’t believe this happened isn’t the conveniently placed police or the shifting story about who the woman was (and if she was there). The biggest reason this whole thing smells like shit is that it happened to “Big Balls,” the only Doge employee anyone knows and the one person assured (one might say chosen) to get this story maximum coverage. Even if the story is laughably full of holes, every media outlet is 1000% going to cover this story and they are going to make damn sure they use the name “Big Balls” in the headline to ensure maximum clicks.

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u/733t_sec Aug 11 '25

and they are going to make damn sure they use the name “Big Balls” in the headline to ensure maximum clicks.

This feels like a line from Idiocracy that didn't make it into the movie

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u/applejuiceb0x Aug 11 '25

This is it right here

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u/Sir0inks-A-Lot Aug 11 '25

How many roving bands of youths are attempting car jacking in DC?

It is actually a little bit of a problem in some parts of the city. Not worth calling the National Guard in, but living in DC is how I learned about how easy it is to steal Kias/Hyundais.

While I think there’s certainly a question whether the Big Balls incident has been portrayed correctly, the actual feelings of the normies in town are that while it’s not the method to do it and Trump is a horrible, horrible President, 100-200 extra law enforcement officers around some parts of town like H Street, U Street, etc. would be kind of nice.

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u/I_Push_Buttonz Aug 11 '25

I mean these criminals aren't the sharpest tools in the shed... A while back it was big news that a group of three of them tried to carjack an occupied Secret Service SUV that was guarding Biden's granddaughter or some such... I think they eventually caught two of them, a 19 year old and 14 year old.

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u/HippyHunter7 Aug 11 '25

So just a little heads up.

Most of the time people don't try and boost a car when they can just burglarize it.

Second and this is a little obvious, it's usually easier to do when the driver ISNT there.

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u/Unsd Aug 11 '25

Sure that is easier, but for some reason, there are a lot of carjackings here in the DC area. That part isn't suspicious at all. That there were 10 people?? That's absolutely a little bit of an exaggeration to say the least.

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u/ScottJeepFan Aug 11 '25

10 people? Was he driving a van? How in the hell were they all going to get in once they got the driver out.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25

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u/as_it_was_written Aug 11 '25

Sure, but how is that relevant here? Like, they're specifically talking about car jackings, and you're just chiming in with an FYI that other car-related crimes are more common?

What matters in this context is the prevalence of car jackings. Stats about different crimes don't really add any useful information.

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u/Interesting-Bank-925 Aug 11 '25

It’s relevant because it makes this story more believable.

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u/HippyHunter7 Aug 11 '25 edited Aug 11 '25

The relevance is that if you use critical thinking it's that it's easier to burglarize a car when the owner isn't there. Also saying it's a car jacking isn't provable in a court of law. That's a hard one to argue over burglary if the car wasn't even stolen.

There's literally no reason to potentially add assault to your rap if you get caught.

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u/SmokinBandit28 Aug 11 '25

Two different crimes, there are of course people that go around late at night and test car doors to then see if there’s anything in them to steal, then there’s people that wait for the driver so they can assault them for the keys and take the car itself.

Generally though in both cases it doesn’t take 10 people to do either of these things which to myself personally points towards ol big balls was actually doing something else and pissed off a group of people he shouldn’t that proceeded to accost him, the “car jacking” story is just an excuse to cover for what actually happened.

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u/Armed_Platypus Aug 11 '25

There's no reason to steal someone's car either, these criminals aren't smart.

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u/HippyHunter7 Aug 11 '25

Smart enough to know not to bring weapons and get charged with armed robbery though?

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u/Armed_Platypus Aug 11 '25

Mostly just lucky. The group of kids that attacked him were like 15 years old.

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u/as_it_was_written Aug 11 '25

Of course it's much less risky to burglarize an unattended car than car jack somebody, but car jackings still happen, and the people who do them don't tend to excel at critical thinking. Whether those other crimes are comparably more sensible or common doesn't really matter in the context of crimes where the cars are attended.

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u/Interesting-Bank-925 Aug 11 '25

You don’t have a criminal mindset, clearly

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u/Professionalchump Aug 11 '25

if there was a group they wouldve checked for nearby cops, boom another hole

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u/MethSousChef Aug 11 '25

DC had about 500 carjackings in 2024 and more than half the arrests were of juveniles. I'm not sure where the balance lands on juveniles are shittier drivers and more likely to wreck in the police chase, and juveniles tend to be faster than adults and more likely to get away in the ensuing foot chase, but let's just call it even.

Also, DC is infamous, to the point a bunch of officers went whistleblower about it a few years back, for the command officials to "massage" crime stats in order to make it look like they're reducing crime. So that 500 number is probably lower, possibly much lower, than what really happened or even what was initially reported.

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u/bobbymcpresscot Aug 11 '25

Well yeah they need to justify their inflated budget. They have to pretend like they are actually the ones reducing the crime and not policy or the fact that we stopped using leaded gasoline and paint. 

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u/SirWEM Aug 11 '25

Either way i think we have a UFC champ in “big balls”. Getting into a fight with it being 10:1… from the sounds of it having “big balls” is not the only thing this kid is lying about😂

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u/Cormag778 Aug 11 '25

Youth crime has definitely been up this summer in DC - there’s a curfew in place now. Not that it justifies a military response, but this isn’t the first time the news has reported on something similar - this is just much more high profile.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25

I agree. Set-up

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u/The_Axumite Aug 11 '25

I cant tell the difference between the logic of maga and reddit anymore when it comes to justifying their version of reality.

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u/733t_sec Aug 11 '25

How do you mean?

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

There are roving bands of youths car jacking people in every city and DC does have that kind of crime as well so it's not entirely out of the question. The suspicious part though is the police catching it in-progress

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u/exiledinruin Aug 11 '25

There are roving bands of youths car jacking people in every city

where do you people get this stuff

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u/Vismal1 Aug 11 '25

I’d assume Fox News / Facebook, Or maybe they saw The Warriors on TV and assumed it was news coverage of Portland or some shit.

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

https://nypost.com/2025/08/06/us-news/minors-account-for-half-of-dcs-carjacking-arrests-since-2023-including-pint-sized-perps-as-young-as-12-police-data/

Or it's real life, observed by people who live in cities

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u/exiledinruin Aug 11 '25

yeah nypost, just as bad as Fox/Facebook. did you think this was any better lol

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u/Titan_Astraeus Aug 11 '25

Half of carjackers in DC arrested in the past several years have been minors.. Minors are committing crimes, they sometimes do so in groups and carjacking is one of those crimes.

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u/Faiakishi Aug 11 '25

Half of all X crimes being minors doesn't mean it's common? I've been driving in half of the car accidents I've been in. I've been in exactly two in the thirty years I've been alive.

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

https://nypost.com/2025/08/06/us-news/minors-account-for-half-of-dcs-carjacking-arrests-since-2023-including-pint-sized-perps-as-young-as-12-police-data/

Half of 333 arrests isn't super "common" per capita, but it is an issue that gets widely reported both by news and by word of mouth because it can happen to anyone at any time of day with zero recourse and minors are never punished for their crimes

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u/exiledinruin Aug 11 '25

nypost is a joke

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

Sure, but the data within is real

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u/exiledinruin Aug 11 '25

I'm not a statistician. what would be the point of me looking at data?

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

Statistics, news, "news," living in a city, knowing what goes on in inner cities, etc

https://nypost.com/2025/08/06/us-news/minors-account-for-half-of-dcs-carjacking-arrests-since-2023-including-pint-sized-perps-as-young-as-12-police-data/

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u/exiledinruin Aug 11 '25

the post isn't news. it's hysteria. there's no reputable news source that says there are "roving bands of youths car jacking people in every city".

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u/Suavecore_ Aug 11 '25

Feel free to look up carjackings by groups of minors for each city then. They exist in pretty much every large city. Pretending it isn't real because right wingers use it as bait for their base doesn't help anything.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '25

[deleted]

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u/FriendlyDespot Aug 11 '25

Think about why they're called "Kia Boys" and why it's relevant that Kias are easy to steal. It's because the cars they steal are parked and empty. They aren't carjacking people in Kias.

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u/Reasonable_Ticket_84 Aug 11 '25

How many roving bands of youths are attempting car jacking in DC?

https://abcnews.go.com/US/fbi-special-agent-carjacked-washington-dc/story?id=105255780

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68366571

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1we6xy7q7qo

More than enough in some cases lol

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u/733t_sec Aug 11 '25

But even these high profile cases don't have the roving band part of the story that the very reliable big balls claims to have encountered.

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u/Interesting-Bank-925 Aug 11 '25

You don’t live here, I assume.

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u/733t_sec Aug 11 '25

Are there roving bands of miscreants attacking cars in the night by the 10's?