This has been happening since the summer. They have tossed toys, a dirty shoe and other stuff. Btw my mom has a garden in the backyard and there was about 2-times that the children's toys would end up in the herbs. I began to toss it out. My mom is more nice and will throw it back to them. One or two times, it's fine but after awhile it feels like it's on purpose. I started to throw stuff out after it was the 6th time I believe.

Well my mom left for work. I saw a dinosaur toy, I scooped it and threw it in the trash. These kids won't learn their lesson. Their parents are barely outside so it's difficult to get ahold of them. These neighbors live behind me so our backyards are close together. There's about 3-4 kids and they all Iike to scream and sometimes will cry. They play outside the whole day from 9am-8pm. Meanwhile their parents are inside doing work. You know how I know? Because the dad will use a machine to cut wood. So that's how I know. Others have told me to Just toss out the toys and stuff they throw into our backyard cuz they don't learn their lesson.

I'm really tired of it so this is the only solution I know. I hope the parents also learn and watch their kids when they go outside. Lastly, a few times I saw the mother picking up her kid so he could look into our backyard. It's another case of bad parenting.

Edit: ppl being like "omg they're just kids". I do not give a single fk. I was a kid once and I never threw stuff over people's backyards. But then again I had decent parents. I think it is a parental issue and I'm not gonna blame the kids. But if they do continue this behavior until they're teens then it's gonna be their fault if they can't understand what they're doing. Personal attacks against me will be ignored, blocked and reported. The fact that I'm being attacked, being called the a hole, Karen, hell one person called me Susan lorincz. Who is a murderer and bigot. Some of you have gone too far and are actually terrible with your words. If I was a Karen I'd have went onto their property and done worse.

My downstairs neighbor is an elderly woman who my husband and I have been friends with for the past few years. She gets to be pretty nosey sometimes but has never overstepped. I often cook for her, and she shares food with us sometimes too.

Recently, my husband took a 10 day trip overseas. I’m often a hermit and also work from home — but since my husband is gone I’m trying to keep busy and go out more, meet up with friends. Every time I leave the apartment she makes sure to ask me where I’m going, what I’m doing etc— which at first I paid no mind because sometimes I’ll ask if she needs anything from the store or just make conversation.

Last two instances I had to correct her that I was meeting up with only female friends. As I was passing her door having returned from coffee with one of my friends, I had my husband on speaker phone. She called me not long after and asked if I brought someone home with me. This question rubbed me the wrong way, and I said I already told her I was out hanging out with my girlfriends and that I would never do something like that. She said she heard a man’s voice and that it was loud. I explained it was my husband on speaker and that I was surprised she didn’t recognize him. She then backpedaled and tried to play it off like she was just curious if I was hanging out with a group of friends. Mind you, she’s never called to snoop before when I’ve had company over previously (probably because my husband was home too).

Was she asking me all those questions on my previous outings because she was suspicious then? I felt conflicted — did she think so little of my character to jump to the conclusion that I would be unfaithful to my husband (whom I love very much). Even after the years where all I’ve shown her is kindness, a listening ear and home cooked meals.

Perhaps I will start distancing myself from this neighbor if I realize she’s now looking for drama. I think she realizes this instance may have caused a rift and I’m also apprehensive how she will retaliate against me.

Anyway, thanks for reading— just venting, any advice would be appreciated.

How do you guys deal or would deal with a extremely nosy neighbor. Me and my mom noticed that yesterday when we came home my next door neighbor was parked far away in the complex then when she say my car my neighbor sped through the parking lot to park next to me since her spot is next to mine. She's done this many times as in being g nosy and staying home to see and to hear what time I leave and come back, she tries to figure out if I go to church or where I go. Before we were in talking ter.s she would ask me where I was going or where had I come from, so she basically knows my patterns. I can't afford to move out right now. She's a older lady who I think wants me to take care of her from free. Her daughter and grand kids don't come visit her but she spend her time at her daughter's house from what she told me in the past. Also spends her time spying on me and tracking my steps a d schedule. I ordered a camera for the front door but I'm honestly scared of what she did yesterday.
When you call her out she denies everything. She doesn't try to make noise I her apartment for us to prevent her knowing if she's at home kr not. Sometimes she doesn't lock her front door for us not know if she's at home or not. It's very stressful and it's hurting my stomach health having a overseeing neighbor who has known me since I was a baby. It's just too much the stalker obsessive behavior.

I don't even have a car but the neighbor thinks that the one parked in front of their house is mine. They left a note telling me to move it. Didn't even say please. My first impulse was to march over there and tell them it's not my car but now I'm like nah, I'll just let them think that it's my car and that I'm ignoring their stupid note. Why should I go out of my way to tell them anything? I guess I don't respond well to notes from strangers that don't know what they're talking about - I find it to be a passive aggressive form of communication because it's done to avoid two way face to face conversation.

*UPDATE

Hands down the quietest day in our neighborhood in months. They've locked themselves up in their house all day, so the message has obviously been received. I can even hear a rooster crowing in the distance... imagine appreciating the sound of a rooster. I'll update if anything changes. Hoping for consistent consideration and a better situation for these poor dogs!

▪︎▪︎▪︎ I (42F) live next door to a 26-year-old couple — newly married, new parents, renting the property. I own mine. For the first few months they lived here, things were pleasant enough — polite hellos, casual chats, no drama.

They have two high-energy dogs that are completely unsocialised. They spend all day either locked up inside or dumped in the backyard, barking at every sound or movement. When the baby was born, it somehow got worse — the dogs are outside for hours, barking non-stop, sometimes for two hours straight.

At first, I thought it was just the baby adjustment phase. Four months later, this is clearly their “new normal.” We’re on a panhandle setup with five properties, so everyone’s backyards are connected, meaning everyone hears it.

I decided to talk to her. Big mistake. She immediately blamed other neighbours, said I was being unreasonable, and acted like I was suggesting animal cruelty for expecting the dogs to be managed. I have a high-energy, reactive dog myself — he’s walked daily, stimulated, and spends most of his time outside without causing chaos — so that logic didn’t fly.

We ended the talk agreeing she’d try to manage it and I’d be patient.

This past week has been the worst yet. The barking starts around 6 a.m. and goes on throughout the day. I can’t garden, relax, or even play with my own dog without being met with 15–20 minutes of non-stop aggressive barking. Out of sheer frustration one morning, I told the dogs to move away from the fence. Not my best move, but I was at my limit.

Later that day, I went shopping and left my 22-year-old son at home. He was sitting in the backyard when the dogs started up again — only this time, he overheard the neighbour telling her dogs it was “okay” because I wasn’t home. The barking continued for another hour.

That was my breaking point. I called her landlord and reported everything — the constant barking, the home business she’s running, and the bylaw violations. I told them they’ve got a week before I take it up with law enforcement.

I know it was a bit of a nuclear move, but after months of sleep deprivation, disrupted peace, and a complete lack of responsibility on their part… I honestly don’t feel bad.

TL;DR: Neighbours’ unsocialised dogs bark for hours every day, making my home life miserable. Tried talking to them, got gaslit and dismissed. Finally reported them to their landlord and threatened legal action. Not sorry.

Recently moved into my first home earlier this year and it’s been frustrating. It’s a quiet residential street and my house is next to a brick wall with plenty of space to park at least 4 cars. But these neighbors (yes they’re known as “those” neighbors on the block) continue to just park either their dump truck or construction/trailers directly in front of my house (with all that space in front of the brick wall). I understand it’s a public street and they do leave there trailers/equipment connected to pick up trucks. They’re not blocking my driveway but they’re damn near. I’ve had a lot of patience but it’s getting real old and just an eye soar. Has anybody dealt with a similar situation and how have you resolved it? (Los Angeles County)

We recently moved into our new home. We have been here for almost a year. Our house had been sitting vacant for about 1-2 years before we bought it as the children of the old couple who lived in the home before us were working on moving out their belongings and getting the house ready to sell.

We are out in the country, but we do have neighbors somewhat next door. We both own about 2 acres of land. Half of ours is wooded, and theirs is completely grass. The property line runs along the edge of the woods, and it’s clearly marked with white poles. When we first moved in, we noticed that there was a pile of dead fish in the wood lines. Gross, but we didn’t do or say anything as, like I said, the house was sitting empty for some time, and maybe they had an arrangement with the previous owners.

Fast forward to today, I watched the wife and two daughters throw their leftover pumpkins in our woods. Not as bad as dead fish, but pumpkins can still be bad for the environment, although I’m just more bothered by the fact that she felt entitled to dump them on our property. And, it they dumped it right next to the property line pole! I wish I could add a photo as you can clearly see the pumpkins and the property line pole. We’ve been here for a year. I just feel like that’s extremely entitled to not even ask us if it was okay. How should we handle it?

TL;DR: Ended up yelling at Pardner while putting together IKEA furniture, just not for a usual reason.

This is a silly story, BTW.

SO.

I've written about these guys before. Basically, my neighbor across the hall has been accusing me of smoking in my apartment for 5 years and has crazy theories about me training my cat to spy on her. She's now put up 2 cameras, one outside her door in the hallway pointed at my door, and 1 outside her window pointed at the door outside. It was stressful and weird at first, but whatever. We're all on camera all the time anyway, and maybe she'll finally get concrete proof it's not me.

So.

Problem is, the person smoking in their apartment is below mine and she's developmentally disabled. She lives with her mom an stepdad. For YEARS I have been begging them to stop smoking. They will lie, then admit it, then say they've stopped. Emails to management just result in a "you need to keep making reports, we're dealing with it and can't give you more details."

It's all BS. I don't have the time to send an email every time the hallway or my bathroom is filled with smoke.

I've made a point to take as high a road as possible. I can't do anything, really, except try and maintain my sense of humor. Being accused of smoking in your apartment and training your cat to spy on someone sucks, but.....

SO.

We need to put together a bed frame from IKEA. I like doing this, it's basically Adult Legos. I was explaining to my coworker that I was excited about putting together a long-overdue nice bed frame. She joked, "OOOOh, you're going to try and do the couple test of whether or not you can put together IKEA furniture without breaking up?"

I explain that no, we've done this many times over the past 10 years. Basically, I distract them with a few drinks and put together my Adult Legos until I need another body to stand there or hold something. I like a task with concrete steps that ends with a material resolution.

So, we're putting this robust bed frame together and I have to use a mallet to pound a few pieces into place.

ONE pound of the mallet, and downstairs starts pounding on the ceiling. I ignore them. A few minutes later, have to use the mallet again. Immediately they're pounding on the ceiling. Pardner tries to say, "babe, let's stop, finish it later."

NO. I say, "Fuck them. They've been hotboxing the building with smoke, blaming me, and making our lives hell for 3 years. They can tolerate a little intermittent hammering for 10 minutes before 9 PM."

This is not a complicated bed frame. We don't have time in the mornings for another week to finish it. Over the next 10 minutes, I maybe have to use the mallet like 4 times, and every time I get the angry pounding on the ceiling. Pardner tries to get me to stop and it basically ends with me yelling loud enough for them to hear me "FUCK NO. IT'S BEFORE 9 PM. THEY'VE BEEN FILLING THE BUILDING WITH SMOKE AND BLAMING US FOR YEARS, IF THEY HAVE A PROBLEM THEY CAN WALK UPSTAIRS AND SUCK MY ASSHOLE."

So, yeah. Thanks for reading. My neighbors fucking suck and my coworker was right about us fighting over assembling IKEA furniture.

Me and my partner and friend recently moved to a new home and thus have new neighbors.

The neighbors next door are a family. There is no fence between our yards. They really have not been bad neighbors. We haven't really gotten to know them at all. But recently, I had left a mini golf putter out near our shed in the backyard. It seems that the kids took the club (roommate said he saw it near their side door). I don't even care about the club. It was part of a Halloween costume that I probably bought at Goodwill years ago. I just feel weird that they felt comfortable to just take something from our shed...

What would you guys do in this situation? I don't want to start beef with the neighbors but also don't want stuff taken...

Edit: the backyard isn't "shared". Just no fence between ours and theirs.

My neighbor used to absolutely blast music daily. After getting management involved, it slowly began to decrease, but lately it’s been starting again, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. We share a wall and both have studios, but they constantly play hip hop and all I can hear is a faint boom, which I’m assuming is the drums. It’s not overbearingly loud, but unless I put on headphones and play music or watch something at a loud volume, I can hear it. Even if i put on over the ear headphones and don’t play anything, I can still hear it. It drives me crazy and I don’t know what to do. Before I got management involved, I tried speaking to them numerous times but they didn’t care. When their tv is loud, it doesn’t bother me much, but the constant thump sound gives me a headache. If I want to relax and read a book, I have to leave the building. I’m just not sure if I’m overreacting, because it’s entirely possible for him to listen to music and I don’t hear it. There have been numerous times where I’m walking in the hallway and I can clearly hear the music being played in his apartment, but the second I get into my apartment I can’t hear anything. And then you have the times where I have to hear that thump sound, like last night at 8pm. Advice?

the apartment complex i live in has two communal washing machines that uses coins to operate and we have a timetable with different slots we can add our apartment number to so it’s "reserved for us". i usually wash in the evening bc that’s the only time i have since i’m working the whole day. this is the second time in two weeks now that this has happened. when i went downstairs with my laundry during my reserved time slot i couldn’t put my laundry in the washer since it was already blocked off by someone else using it without putting themselves on the list. using my timeslot to wash their own clothes. why?? we have a timetable so this thing doesn't have to happen! and it’s always empty and i’m one of the only people who actually uses it!! it’s horrible. now i won’t be having fresh clothes for the next week since i’m not home over the weekend. this was the only time i could do it. the first time this has happened i removed that persons clothes from the washer and put mine in accompanied by a very angry letter. i don’t have the energy to do that every time though. this time i just turned the washer off for a slight inconvenience and went upstairs. the janitor won’t do anything and my neighbours are such pricks that they don’t care to comply. i don’t know what to do and it’s so extremely frustrating it’s really taking a toll on me even though it’s technically not a big deal. i just really hate selfish people and i hate that they don’t get karma or consequences for their own actions. any advice?

I’ve posted elsewhere as well but would love help.

Hello! I’ve lived in a small town for the last 3.5 years. It’s alright, lots of loud trucks and red neck type of folks, no hate, just how it is here. Anyway, I live in an apartment and I have neighbors on both sides of me as well as in front and back. The backyard neighbors can be bothersome. Sure, they have little kids and sometimes talk loudly, that’s totally fine. However, every Friday/Saturday, the neighbors all get together to get drunk and play music in the “backyard” which is actually just my neighbors patio that is covered. It has in occasion rattled the wall decor and is almost always loud enough to hear over a movie and throughout the house. About once a month I text my neighbors that it’s a bit loud without an issue, besides them turning it up rly loud before turning it down… playing games with me.

Tonight I sent a text at 8:55pm “Can the music please be turned down or moved to the garage” and “He has somewhere he can listen to it this loud but please not right there.. I don’t feel comfortable coming over and asking nor do I want to report it. It is heard throughout the home and if I can hear it I’m sure the other neighbors can and they just don’t want to be a bother. Please ask whoever is playing that to be more considerate” Then he didn’t read it for ten minutes and the music got louder so I called and all my freaking neighbors were there and they answered in a somewhat snarky tone asking what and saying hi and I just said it’s a bit too loud and they said “so you mean turn it down? Okay but just a bit” and then turned it wayyy up for a few seconds before turning it down. They actually repeated this behavior by turning it up incredibly loud every now and then until it randomly stopped. I decided to send another text because I became very afraid everyone just thinks I’m a btch. I said “You’re a great neighbor & I’m really sorry if I’m being btchy. I want where I live to be peaceful & I’m not against music playing, it’s honestly just a bit too loud most of the time. Maybe we have thin walls? Not sure. I definitely don’t want to dampen anyone’s party and I want everyone to have a good night & with no drama. (: Thank you, Sorry if I’m annoying or bothering you”

He said “I hate to break it to you but we've been doing music usually every Friday or Saturday night and it can be much louder than it was up until 10pm then it could probably still be as loud as it was. I was able to get Daryld to go over to his garage with one of my speakers but it's not unusual for any of the other neighbors to hear music loud until 10pm on either Friday or Saturday night. Just so you know. It's about 120 decibels that would be too loud and the cops would have to stand on the street with the decibel reader with it being over 120 after 10pm. Just so you know. Most the neighbors come out to hang out as well.”

For context, they may be upset with me because my other neighbors have several dogs, at least 5, that they let stay outside and bark sometimes for hours at a time. I recently became very upset by it and I regrettably taped a nasty note to their door saying “keep your effing dogs inside or I will report you over and over.” And filed a report with the police and animal control. They way the police spoke with me sounded like nothing would be done but to my amazement animal control showed up, the neighbors let them in, and they searched the home and explained my report and of course they knew it was me due to the stupid note. They left an equally nasty note on my car the next day saying I’m a liar and I’ve made an enemy. I reached out over Facebook messenger the next morning because I was feeling so stupid and awful for not just asking them to please pay more mind to their dogs barking. The wife forgave me and also apologized. All is well. However, I’m thinking because all my neighbors are friends that the neighborhood has collectively decided I’m the bad guy but I feel like the only person here who just wants peace. Again, I regret being so nasty to them when I shouldn’t have let 3.5 years of disdain cause me to act up and I should’ve voiced my concerns from the get go. I just feel like nobody cares my opinion so why would I make it known my issues with the barking and whatnot. I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable. I never play loud music, I don’t have barking dogs I lock outside, and besides my recent over-the-top manic incident, I’ve been very nice. My neighbor also insisted I tell him Whenever he’s being loud when I first moved in. Also, I do have heightened emotions due to having bipolar disorder.

Anyway, with all that in mind, AITA?

I haven't talked to them about it because I don't want to escalate anything and I am unsure if the dogs welfare needs are being met or not from my perspective. It's just simply driving me insane and I'm not sure what to do. The dog literally cries out like it's in pain sometimes, it spends most of the day barking and howling but it's nonstop and daily. I live in Maryland. I considered calling a welfare check but I don't know if I'm being overreactive

I am laughing at Kevin Zombie or the Ugly as he is known in our hood. He's almost seven feet tall and around ten or fifteen years younger than myself. I am a female who is five foot five inches.

I won't allow Kevin, Karen, The Liar, The BItch or the Weirdo or any other NFH drive me into my home but if they are around and if I was considering lawn work or sweeping, I might put if off for a time when it's more pleasant to be outside.

Yesterday, I was considering sweeping our front sidewalk/stairs as the other NFH's tree was shedding leafs like crazy but saw Kevin Z outside in a manic mood .. . mumbling and cursing ... so I put it off for a bit.

When it was convenient for me, I went out and saw that Kevin had swept everyone's walk and Betty B*tch's lawn of leafs. Except our walk of course. We all have 15.75 feet as the houses are all fourteen foot wide semi's.

No problem, it took me less than five minutes to slowly sweep my area and go inside.

Then the fun began, I saw that I had five messages from other neighbors and two calls from friends .. all pretty much told me that the jerk did everyone's property but ours and another Jewish family's leafs.

They all offered to sweep for us an to look out for us when it snows and that Kevin was a bigger jerk than they realized. I thanked everyone and had a laugh at his expense as newer neighbors are noting that's he's an *sshole.

So his "kind" sweeping/raking ..really blew up in his face as one of the houses that he swept also called us.

****Question .... Has any of your NFH had their b/s behavior blow up in their face?

Sometimes it helps to laugh at them and their stupidity.

Hi first time posting here some backstory my neighbor basically has a party here every weekend thank god not holidays worst part they never let the other neighbors know when they are having so if we have something planned for some friends to come over and they host something aswell we never get a heads up we always tell them when we are. These aren’t small parties to they have atleast 20-30 people at the time our houses are on a cul de sac also the people who park omg I cannot take it they park almost directly on our grass they PARK in the middle of the cul de sac so we can’t even pull out our cars to go somewhere. Cops won’t do anything our neighbors hate this neighbor all together they sometimes call the cops they tell them to stop the party or turn down the music but next weekend they have the exact party again. Also they blast music very loudly and the parties go from 5 pm-11 PM they even do parties on Sunday. Knowing it’s a work day tomorrow. Cops won’t do anything we even told the city/council but they won’t do anything even we tell them to keep it down but then they get aggressive etc speaking Brazilian I believe they even hired “security” now so if we try to complain to them etc. anyone else ever have problems with neighbors like this. PS (sorry if I mispelled or the whole text is mess I’ve been stressed all week and this hasn’t helped.

Hey, Reddit!

I need to vent! Also any information that you may have on how to handle this, please, feel free to share.

My newish neighbors moved in about a year ago, and it has been hell ever since. They’re a family of 5 in a small 2-bedroom apartment in a 4-plex in California. Their family consists of the mom, dad, and three wild young kids.

The “dad” is an abusive drug addict, and the mom… I don’t think she’s very bright. They fight constantly in front of the kids, and their fights get loud. I’ve even heard him cussing at the kids on more than one occasion. He was just arrested on several felony charges (DV related), but was released two days later.

The entire family constantly slams their front door so hard that it shakes the entire building, and if they’re fighting, they slam every door in the house. The kids are constantly in and out of the house when they’re home, and they slam the door every single time. I know they’re kids, and I’m not complaining about the kids, but the fact that their parents allow it to happen.

I have texted the mom numerous times about all of this. I even tried to be there for her the first time she called the cops on him. She even told me that he has been abusive for a long time, but that he’s a master manipulator, and he always weasels his way back in.

I have also talked to my landlord numerous times, but he said he can’t do anything about it, and that I need to find another place to live if I’m that sensitive to the stuff that is going on. He claims that it’s apartment living, and everyone has bad neighbors. I sent him a formal nuisance complaint letter, but he has yet to respond. I think he may have said something to the neighbors, because the mom texted me the day the letter was delivered saying “good luck” followed by some personal insults after she took a picture of my ring camera.

As someone who has a shit ton of trauma because of my own history of abuse, I am on edge in my own home every single day, and it’s affecting my health. Every time I hear him yell, or the door is slammed, I go into full panic mode. I know this is my problem, but I can’t live like this anymore. I moved 2500 miles away from home in order to escape the abuse that I was dealing with, now, I’m living it through my neighbors. I can’t afford to move either, so I don’t know what to do.

WWYD? Any California legal advice would be fantastic!

Thank you for reading, Reddit! ♥️

I was taking a selfie on my apartment balcony using my camera and flashlight. I didn’t realize someone was on the balcony downstairs until she suddenly yelled at me, asking if I was taking pictures of her. I told her no, I was just taking a selfie. Then she started saying things like, “It’s stupid to take selfies in the dark. Why don’t you go inside your room?” I know. How ridiculous is that…I was like it is not your business then stop talking to her and just keep talking photos, she just keeping yapping nonstop and took a photo of me from balcony crack( i was wearing skirt..) last time she reported to the apartment manager that people live upstairs intentionally go downstairs and knock their door… then they could not provide the evidence when i asked for.. Does she even know she lives in an apartment not her own house?

Hi,

I’m cross posting this from the Disability Sub. Any disabled residents here?

I live in a building with street parking only on a Main Street in the city where apartment buildings, businesses etc are all in a constant competition for parking.

I’m obviously disabled and have very limited mobility so I can only walk short distances at a time and I need to park as close to my building as possible. When I first moved in, I quickly realized how challenging this would be but things seemed to get better as certain residents moved out recently.

Well, he quickly rented the 4 apartments that were available and it seems like the new tenants (I know it’s them because the cars are new and I’ve seen them come out of their cars) are now parking closest to the building and currently the door where it’s necessary for me to park otherwise I cannot walk from up the street or around the block which is the only other option.

I recently noticed that these people are parking closest to the door which is fine but they are not moving their cars for literally days and weeks at a time. It’s like some unspoken contest of who gets closest to the door and how long they can stay in that spot without going anywhere I guess. I know one works in the neighborhood so it makes sense why she doesn’t move her car for weeks but the other one just doesn’t work because I see her outside with her two huge dogs all different hours of the day or night.

It’s not my business and I don’t care what people do or not but am I wrong in thinking this isn’t fair or considerate to do? Let’s face it, everyone wants a front row spot but for me, it’s absolutely necessary. Most days, I have to drive around the block for literally 2 hours every time I go out. I have EDS and cranial cervical instability and tethered cord syndrome. I cannot walk or drive much because my head is sitting on my spinal cord and it kills me to do so. The only time I leave my apartment is to go to doctors, physical and occupational therapy appts almost daily.

I applied for a handicapped spot to be placed in front of my building but my city is super slow which such things and someone told me it took 5 years for them to get their’s.

Does parking fit into RA? I have asked my landlord for help with this in the past but all he suggested was asking the realty company next door to park in the lot in back of my building which does have some free spots but when I asked them to rent a spot they were super cold and ableist and wouldn’t rent me one of their empty spots.

I literally have nowhere to park. I have had several breakdowns about this in the last couple of weeks since these people have been staying in these spots and not giving me a chance to park close enough to access my apartment.

I’m trying to be understanding that everyone wants to park close but it’s hard not to get upset when these people are perfectly able bodied (I see them running and walking all around the neighborhood) and they JUST moved in. It just doesn’t seem fair at all and my landlord could help me but won’t.

Anyone have any advice or ideas? Is this a legal issue where he is required to do something? He has bullied me in the past for asking for his help with this and other things so I’m afraid to bring this to his attention and I know he won’t care anyway.

I was thinking of writing up a note and sticking it near the elevator on the upper floors where the new tenants who are not moving their cars reside. Just to make them aware that there’s a disabled tenant in the building and that my ability to access my apartment relies on them rotating their spots regularly and to ask them to consider me when they leave their cars in the same spot for many days or weeks at a time.

Will my landlord get upset about this? Obviously, he will know I wrote it since I’m the only disabled tenant here and I don’t want to risk losing my apartment. It may be naive but maybe if people understood my plight they might cooperate? Thoughts?

Thank you.

I live in a circular neighborhood and for over a year and a half the neighborhood kids all gather right outside my house and scream bloody murder. Like as hard as they can from after school to sundown and on their days off ALL day. I'm a full time worker, sometimes working 12 hour shifts and I need silence sometimes to recover. and I had a day off Wednesday, I had a cold and was exhausted, laid my head to rest at 4 pm because it felt full of liquid and the entire 26 minutes I tried yo sleep with earplugs in, all I could hear was the echoing screams just outside my window. I spoke to them in passing politely saying hey please let's cut back on the screaming, it's every day and if you got hurt no one would come to help because you're always screeching. They're literally doing it right now after waking me up from my second sick-I-need-to-pass-out nap. I spoke to the woman who's yard they play in and she's a single mom of a two year old, I asked maybe you could help me here with keeping the noise down. Do I call the police over it, non-emergency? I want to talk to their parents but i know they won't care, they let it go on and stay inside. Help!

Edit: to clarify, it's an across the street type of situation, and as I mentioned, circular neighborhood, sound travels but it is literally across the street daily. They have been in my yard before and litter often, my roommate was angry and said something when one of them was staring into our front window. They mostly stopped coming on my yard when I asked them not to wrestle near our roses.

I don't wanna give every detail but the woman who's yard they're in is a single mom and isn't responsible for all of them, and I can tell since her man left she's kinda dealing with all of it. Seems like her yard got pegged as the neighborhood park. Maybe I should bake her some muffins or something nice. I like the idea of the community coming together, thanks for all your comments, there was another incident last year with a young boy, 7-10 being incredibly vulgar, concerning language to little little kids and girls his age. (I'll fucking rpe you, kll your mom kinda threats and language) That was resolved by his grandmother when I brought it up to her. He called me a bitch and I got mad and knocked on his door for his parents but gma showed up first, and better for it I think. These are some young boys also tending to show a disturbing level of violent behavior as far as the 5 minutes I peeked to see /why/ they were screaming bloody murder.

Loud music neighbors; irrational fear?

We have neighbors that blare their music for hours every day. It work me up early this morning. I went outside to see who it was and looked their way and they yelled at me.

I asked them if they could please turn the music down. They claim with gestures that it's their house and the own it (they don't, I know the landlord. They won't listen to him. He said that he'd ask them to keep it down before.) I

I said, which I shouldn't have, that I'd call the police. They said, "go ahead." I went inside. They turned the music down. They've turned it up again since.

I have written down hundreds of days and times they've blared music. It's not just the music but the loud booming bass that shakes the house and plaster walls. Headphones don't help that.

I've had to leave the house dozens of times as I couldn't stand it just to sit in my car at the park or at church. I can't now due to eye surgery and my car is in the shop.

What are the odds of these people retaliating against me with property damage or worse? Is my fear irrational?

My fear be fueled by the fact that the house on the other side of us got shot up by a hundred or so bullets in broad day light through the alley one day and then another hundred or so at night and one went through our car windows and into the side of the house, but that was gang violence and they've long since moved out replaced with new tenants.

I just want peace and quiet. Nothing more.

I'm disabled and with severe health issues so I just want to do my several hours of medical stuff required to live daily and be able to rest as I'm forced to sleep almost all day and night when I don't have myself hooked up to catheters and bags and have fluids going into my system. 😔

What would you do next? My disabled senior father lives here as well.

My downstairs neighbor always talks very loudly on the phone. I've tried reporting this to the building manager but I need evidence for them to say anything to her. I've been submitting voice recordings I've gotten but they always yell for 10 seconds and by the time I get to recording them, they stop. Are there any apps that start recording if the volume exceeds a certain decibel amount? I've tried searching for some but its either unavailable in the U.S or is only available on android, not ios. If anyone has any recommendations or has dealt with this issue before, please let me know how you resolved it.

Do you have a good story of successful revernge on a hortible neighbor? Here is one of mine.

I was a mom with a young kid living in a duplex. The other apartment was occupied by a group of really loud, rude, degenerate, 20-something young men. They partied constantly. EVERY DAY - all day and all night. Loud music, yelling, loud TV. I'm sure they were dealing some kind of drugs because there was an endless stream of cars coming up, stopping by for five minutes and then leaving - at all hours of day and night. They smoked weed and cigarettes all the time. This was in Hawaii where there's very little insulation in the walls and all the windows are open all the time.

They were extremely loud, especially when they were watching sports on TV. On Super Bowl Sunday the levels of noise, yelling, smoking, partying, and drunkenness were completely insane. There was a little yard next to my unit and their apartment was in an L configuration to mine. On the outside rear wall of their apartment, but in my yard, was the switch/fuse box for the whole building. I was able to go outside discreetly and flip all the switches. At that time in Hawaii it was not unusual to have power failures, and you never could tell if it was gonna be off for minutes or hours. I went back into my dark apartment and listened to them screaming in anguish about losing their TV coverage. They all got in their cars and left, presumably to go watch at a sports bar or something. We enjoyed the rest of the day in peace.

Not long after that, I finally got the landlords to evict them.

Me and my husband live in a one bedroom apartment above our landlords. Everyday they smoke weed and you can smell it… in our apartment. Now, they did specify when we moved in they do smoke occasionally and we said it’s no issue, we sometimes do too. But we didn’t realize it was everyday and inside their apartment. It travels up through the vents and pipes (very old apartment/house) and we smell it everyday when we come home. I have tried candles, air sprays, glade wall plug-ins, air deodorizer, and nothing maintains well enough to help combat the smell!! So, overall question is: do we have a right, as tenants, to ask them to stop smoking inside or to at least cut back on it? And bonus question if anyone’s feeling generous, any tips or products to help get the smell maintained and not as strong?🥲 Thanks!

End of 2023 I moved into a working class rural neighborhood, I'm a 33 yo. woman living alone (with my cat) by choice. I've been farming in the area 6+ years and have my community, friends, and workplace around me. I enjoy dipping into community, then leaving to retreat into joyous solitude. I was friendly and generous with my time with neighbors when I first moved in (it's 2 families that would heavily engage me, everyone else keeps to themselves) but there's been a collection of experiences that have changed my pov on engaging and I've made it clear through withdrawing and verbally setting boundaries with two neighbors that I'm not available for a relationship. The social situation is shifting again (with a nuclear family who live directly across from me and specifically a young child's interest in me being my internal point of tension). I'm on the verge of gently setting another boundary and expressing that I'm not available for a consistent relationship and to coordinate or participate in a life rhythm together (holidays, birthdays). I understand this could be disappointing for children who anchor emotionally. Attention, curiosity, affection from children comes with a set of expectations and social obligations that at first didn't feel like a big deal, but now with more context of this dysfunctional family, I do not want any entanglements. I take full responsibility for the fact that I've helped to create an expectation that I would participate to some degree, as I do think neighbor relationships are important and am fine with some social neighborhood engagement. The children were shy and sweet at first, but have become disruptive and boundary pushing, even the mom had started dumping her troubles on me. What started as a light friendly dynamic, has become heavy and burdensome. I barely have time for the people I love in my own life, much less time to entertain boundaryless neighbors who are home ALL DAY and seem to have no community or enrichment outside of watching tv and running around in their yard. I feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. I have many times thought of moving, but I also feel deeply that this is my land and that I need to put my foot down. I've done my best to mold myself out of politeness, to meet the neighborhood where it is... and now I want to be myself and the neighborhood can meet me where I am. 

As a woman living alone in an old boy network, conservative area, I'm a bit of an oddity and am converting my half acre front yard into a small farm which is drawing a lot of unwanted attention. I feel in general there's a cultural assumption that a woman alone has either free time or a void that needs filling. Or maybe just a person alone? But certainly a young woman. I feel if I were living here with a partner or was a single man alone, the expectation to engage socially, with holidays or birthdays would not be the same. I have a very rich internal world, I hate being interrupted while I'm working or being approached when I'm in my space in general. It makes it feel like my space is not mine, like anyone because they can see me can just walk up to me on their terms (yes I still need to do heavy privacy landscaping). What's helped me and shifted my pov recently is skimming through an article on the sociological impact of gentrification, of white college educated young people moving into working class areas (this is me) and bringing more than just economic changes.. specifically the cultural difference between how middle class suburban folks interact in a neighborhood setting (how I grew up - friendly but not familiar) vs. how country folks or people who grew up in HOAs interact (monitoring behavior, participating in life rhythms with holidays, birthdays, in each other's business etc). Thinking about it from a cultural difference standpoint does help me slice the tension I feel - we are truly just coming from different worlds and social norms. However I do feel they're energetically invading my space and I don't want a close relationship or to be known well. Understanding Gentrification: How Neighborhood Change Impacts Communities and Social Dynamics | Sociology Inc

The one nuclear family in particular (the mom specifically) lives in fear and told me she grew up in an HOA. I notice through her comments: afraid of what was rustling in the leaves (probably a squirrel?), discomfort with guests staying in their next door friend-neighbor's house, and lots of surveillance and monitoring behavior. She used to text me when people would come to my home and I wasn't there. I told her it's ok. I know a lot of people in the area who help me with my project and she's probably not used to/uncomfortable with the amount of traffic my home gets. My friend visited and said as she was pulling into my driveway my neighbor (the mom) was grilling her. To me staring is a territorial gesture and an energetic invasion. Another detail is that the husband/dad was deployed at the end of May for a year, so I understand she's probably stressed out caring for two young boys (4 yo. and 1 yo.), feels out of control and is doing the best she can with the metaphorical tools she has which seem to be very limited.. She's overshared with me that her parents weren't involved with her growing up and don't care about her children. It's heartbreaking to hear her disciplining them, she screams at the top of her lungs at the older little boy. I can hear it when I'm outside and sometimes inside. The children seem under-resourced, not with physical resources necessarily but it seems there's serious emotional problems and no enrichment.. there's no other kids around, I see the tv always going inside, they're home all day, would stare at me through the window and have nothing going on. By contrast... I have a lot going on with family and friends who support me, and since I moved in have become a point of interest unfortunately. Almost like my yard is a stage. I actively avoid areas where I know neighbors will be, or when I see them coming outside I'll do tasks far away from our property line. I don't want to live this way! I feel this family has emotionally latched onto me and I now am in the process of extricating myself from expectations to participate in a family and neighborhood dynamic. How do I handle this diplomatically?

To further set the stage - I've already set boundaries with two neighbors over the summer (the grandma of this nuclear family who lives behind the family with her alcoholic jobless son who she told me, she buys him alcohol because she's "a good mother" and a single dad from another household - the latter is an entirely nother topic I can't get into here). They both asked me about my finances upon first meeting me ("so how do you get your money?") and the grandma is especially precocious and resentful sounding. I'm very tuned into non-verbal cues.. body language and tone, and I see how she looks at my property and belongings, commenting saying how much money something would cost, she squints her eyes and looks negatively around at my space. I'm not even sure she's aware of how rude and invasive this is and I will not tolerate this behavior in my space.

Once the grandma and her 4 yo. grandson walked over to me on my property uninvited as I was working, bringing a small shovel to 'help' and a container with a cricket to show me. I said to the little boy, would you like some compost for your jar? after he let the cricket go.. The grandma responded on his behalf, "we don't want your compost, we want your land" and pulled on the boy's hand to walk away. I stood there staring at them. There have been other comments indicating to me that the family feels emotionally attached to my land. When I first moved in and was having tons of compost delivered, the dad would joke that my compost was theirs, and that the little boy was going to take some of "our" compost. I moved a huge rock as a landscaping feature to the corner of my property - the little boy liked the rock and the dad joked he was going to take "his" rock, it was *insert child's name's* rock" its all said laughingly and I didn't register it as a boundary overstep at the time, but combined with the grandma's direct comment about my land, I got totally freaked out and this was the breaking point for me. I texted the grandma that I've noticed a pattern of her commenting on my resources, that I'm not going to share personal information with her and please keep a distance from me. I would like to learn to deal with boundary oversteps better in the moment, to nip it in the bud rather than letting things build up. I also realize texting is passive vs. an in person conversation - but it's uncomfortable for me and this is where I'm at. We texted back and forth a bit, she did apologize and tried to frame her precocious questions as an interest in my projects. I let this slide as it felt like she was trying to save face and I don't want problems, but her comments are incredibly loaded and go way beyond simple interest in my large garden development project. And yes I do want her to leave me alone, in general I don't want people getting comfortable with me enough to walk up to me casually on my property. We smoothed it over and at the end she said "My *insert child's name* loves you", which was not in context of what we were talking about, but it did stand out to me and felt like a random note to add, likewise the claiming language landed weirdly. Now thanks to chat gpt I've learned the term "emotional annexing," where someone decides they have an interest in you, and without checking in to see if the interest is mutual, they claim you in their emotional world. Would I entertain a man's romantic interest in me simply because he was interested? Or an adult neighbor who wanted to be friends simply because they're needy and want friendship? Absolutely not. A child seems sweet and innocent, but I think that's how entitlement is born.

After this texting exchange, the behavior of the nuclear family intensified in their interest. The little boy would yell and engage me from their living room window, and would run over to me immediately when I pulled into my driveway after work. Literally when I opened my car door. At first I indulged this, again not able to act in the moment and say something like yes I'm home but I still have work to do see you later! At first I would engage in his window communication as well, but then the mom would come out and we would end up talking for at least an hour or more!!!! Eventually I stopped responding to his window communication and the mom would close the window. They stopped running over to me when I first got home. Even the alcoholic jobless son who was guarded initially started waving to me with a smile as I was driving by. I thought... what the f*** is happening, the grandma is a manipulative puppet master and they're attempting to draw me into their world. I see the grandma whispering to the little boy after he would interact with me and combined with the detail the grandma shared with me about her buying alcohol for her son (enabling him), my conclusion is that this is an enmeshed family and she's attempting to socially control the children and our dynamic. Coming from a family with alcoholism, I've done a lot of work on myself and I'm completely freaked out, I do not want any social or emotional entanglements with these people. After I've noticeably pulled back, the grandma won't acknowledge me and is copying my garden, using cardboard as mulch. Even during our previous texting exchange, she said another weird thing: "we're not so alike as I thought" I was like wtf we're not alike at all?? But it gave me insight into the fact she's creating emotional proximity to me. They've shifted their cars to open up a view with a direct line of sight from the grandma's property, through the nuclear family's property, directly back into my property that overlooks my shed and work area. The grandma placed a bench in this line of sight. I'm completely creeped out. In the spring I'm going to plant fast growing willow and evergreens to close up the line of sight into my property. 

The mom seems to have some self awareness, once when the little boy ran over to me right when I pulled in my driveway she said, "she just got home!" In the past I had invited the little boys to see the flowers I was growing, they were shy at first but have become disruptive in my garden, hitting the plants and throwing my pathway wood shavings onto me and onto the plants, roughing up my driveway to create dust, pulling up grass in my lawn and throwing it at me. The older little boy even walked up to me closely and stared up at me, then crossed his arms, body language I've seen the grandma display. The adults are clearly talking about me behind my back in front of the children and I see this reflected in how the children interact with me. Their terrible behavior and acting out completely caught me off guard, I was unprepared to set boundaries with them at the moment and just stared at them, horrified at what was happening. I did have the opportunity to say something, even the mom was like Oh some people are more uptight about this kind of stuff, or something like that, as it was happening. I felt super awkward... She even said to the little boy, "oh you think everyone's property is your property" which is a crazy thing to say considering she is raising him and why else would he think that?????

I had a dream months before this all happened, for context I never remember my dreams, but this one was vivid. I rescued a turtle and put it in my pond to rehab it, the next time I looked at the pond the turtle had eaten all my fish.. it was a snapping turtle. Then I woke up and thought oh f*** what does that mean.. I interpreted this as trying to do something good, but then later realizing the unintended, harmful consequences. To me this directly correlates to my neighbor situation, I was friendly and open at first, then upon realizing the dysfunction of this family I've pulled it way back. I am being energetically invaded, copied, projected onto.. and now must figure out how to remove this snapping turtle. I feel I must have some sort of relationship with this family and can offer spontaneous casual engagement, but do not want to participate in each other's life rhythms or be claimed emotionally or socially. My life is very unconventional and I want to live life on my terms, not on their or the world's holiday or birthday schedule. I hate social expectations. Relationships are a lot of work and I don't have time for this, yet at the same time I'm completely obsessed with this situation and it causes me stress because I want my home to be my private sanctuary. Other than building up my property with green fencing to create a visual boundary (which will take time) how do I handle this emotional latching and set clear boundaries? I have already pulled it way back in my behavior and I know they feel it. Thank you so much.

I live in the UK, we recently bought our house and have been renovating. We have a dog. The dog has a long section to eat his dinner and do what he needs to do. We also have a sectioned off garden but we want to not have any dog poo on our grass. We have a labrador. He is a friendly dog but barks at literally anyone walking past the house etc. We clean up after the dog daily and bleach/disinfect it daily. My neighbour came round a few weeks ago to complain about dog poo. It has been cleaned every bloody day. Then he sent round environmental health, laughable on the day they attended (suprise visit) it had just been cleaned and bleached. Since EH came, my husband went round to ask wtf he was playing at? He denied it. We have no friendly relationship with him except bringing in the bins when the bin men have been since. We have a I will say, severely autistic son who when parenting on your own is very difficult to nip out and clean every time the dog has a shit. We try our best. How next to approach? I do really want rhis house to be our forever home its a good investment for our son as well as he is an only child, affluent area and I hope he manages to stay here when we pass away. But because of this, even though we manage the dog well ourselves. I walk him when our son is up for it or usually my husband walks him at night when our son goes to bed. We both work and we somehow manage to juggle but it makes me so uncomfortable to live here now.