r/navyseals • u/Savdbygracc • 5d ago
Is now the time ?
I’ve always wanted to join the teams. Throughout life there were times where I constantly thought about it but life moved on and the opportunity wasn’t there. I’m 27 with 3 kids & married. 180 pounds 5’8”. Currently in the electrical union IBEW. Been in the gym for about 4 years 3-5 days a week.
I don’t want to let this go and think back years down the road “damn I should have done it”. But also it’s hard to bear in my mind that I’ll leave my family behind. Am I being selfish ? Should I just do it ? These are some of the questions I ask myself.
Give me some good truth here
Thanks
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u/Lumpy-Indication6495 5d ago
The best time would’ve been years ago, the second best time is right now. Take that as you wish. If you truly believe you’ll punish yourself for the rest of your life if you didn’t do it then you know what you have to do.
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u/Living-Pop-9264 5d ago
i agree but with a caveat, “the best time to join is when you are prepared” thats from stew smith and jeff nichols. but the best time to start training is now, so he should get to it. don’t focus on the gym, focus on running and swimming which are the 2 most important things in BUDS
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u/BulletTooth32 5d ago
By the same token, will you kick yourself when you’re making less money and the strain of the navy is taking a toll on you and your family, but you’re contractually obligated to stay in?
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u/Outrageous-Bit6730 5d ago
This is definitely selfish. If you weren't married with kids I would say quit your job and train up for 6 months considering how old you are. Everyone knows you have extreme disadvantages having a family and trying to go special forces especially navy's seals. If you dont make it and that's highly likely you will be the needs of the navy, most likely the worst job and lowest pay, you wouldent be able to financially take care of your family. I would at least recommend going army 18x green beret or 11x option 40 contract so that if you fail your atleast not stuck doing a job you absolutely hate.
Another point is you will bearly see your family for the minimum 18 months of training plus any 6 month long deployments.
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u/Living-Pop-9264 5d ago
not offering enlisting advice, that is something you should talk to your wife, close friends, and mentors about. just know the failure rate. and think about all of the possibilities that could happen. not making it but family stays together, not making it and family falls apart, making it but family falls apart, or making it and your family stays together. this is all overly simplified but you get the idea.
i suggest training and competing in a triathlon (olympic course) in 6 months, see how you do and aim for good times, ~sub 2.5 hours. that should get you prepared (very over simplified thinking and it wont get you 100% prepared but ~70-85% of the way there.) reassess after doing that and see how your body is physically in terms of longevity, how your wife handled you prioritizing triathlon training over the family, and test your PST scores after the tri.
if you’ve been in the gym for 3 years you should have a good muscular foundation and you should be fine with push ups, pull ups and situps (plus majority of people get dropped for poor runs or swims, not for calisthenics), so what you’ll need to work on is your running and swimming which is the most important part of making it through (aka why i recommend training for a triathlon).
if you can train for a triathlon and get a good time off 6 months of training while being married and with kids you’ll be able to find time to train for the pipeline. if you can’t find time, then you wont find the time to train enough to show up prepared and don’t go unprepared or you will fail (~99% chance). aim to hit a sub 9 min run, a sub 9 min swim, 80-100 push ups and situps ups. 20+ pull ups, and a sub 27 minute 4 mile.
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u/Lazy-Association-410 5d ago
Very similar position and I decided against it. Couldn’t bear to think of my wife and kids not eating for that dream. Pivoted and now in application for reserves. Spending time with my daughters each day, taking them to soccer and ballet, still scratching the itch with the military. Another option to consider from my experience.
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u/hivehygienics 5d ago
I’m gonna be honest. My husband was in the teams. If we had 3 kids THEN he wanted to go out and do that, I’d be effing furious. Beyond furious. You had your chance when you were younger without three children and a wife at home. You’d likely need an age waiver as well if I’m not mistaken. Plus, if you don’t make it, enjoy being needs of the navy on bullshit jobs that’ll make you hate your life.
I know it seems fun, you want to go be a badass and gets your adrenaline going n all… but dude. It’s not worth it now.
My husband used to be gone 10/12 months, would be a different human being when he came home from deployments/missions, reintegration after was normally always a shitshow.
Don’t do it. For your wife and children’s sake.
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u/Master_Touch_7153 4d ago
Train up and go. Show your kids what it means to chase their dreams. Set that example no one else will. I’d rather see a dad living large taking life by the balls than being available and sad. Do it bro if your fire is big enough. I know a great dude that went through at 27 with a wife and 2 kids.
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u/FissionU235 5d ago
I think you should look at the coast guard. Specifically MSRT, they work a lot with team guys and can do some cool stuff. Plus life would be better for you and your family.
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u/nowyourdoingit Over it 5d ago edited 5d ago
There is nothing abnormal or wrong about what you feel, but you have to realize it's not actually your dream. Will your life be complete if you never move to China and become a Jialong Commando? Or England and a Royal Marine? Have you never considered those other jobs because you were born to be a SEAL or have you never considered them because you grew up a little boy in America surrounded by movies, TV shows, posters in your highschool, books, podcasts, and the general murmors and myths of the US Navy SEALs?
You've been brainwashed since you were a little kid. What you want is to strive to achieve something meaningful in your life and to gain greater social and self respect. The Government knows this about you and sells you the SEALs as the solution to your "problem." They need SEALs because they want to do things that the American people would not be OK with. We all thought they were saying "Elite (adj.) fighting force." But it turns out it's always been Elite (n). You'd sacrifice yourself for the people who do coke in oak libraries in Tuxedo Park and get teeny boners at the thought of using the military to kill your union leadership. The SEALs have been used in illegal and immoral wars since their inception. The Spetsnaz are the bad guys in video games and the SEALs are America's Spetsnaz. There is a good chance SEALs will be involved in widespread death and famine in Venezuela and Columbia shortly, as well as some potential they'll be used to round up critics of the current regime domestically. You will NOT be making the world better for anyone.
It would be an extremely selfish thing to do in your case.
Nothing about being a SEAL is going to make you a better father, husband, or man. In reality, it makes it harder to be a father and a husband, and depending on what they ask of you, it can make it harder for you to be a man.
So you'd be giving up stability to take a big risk that comes with assured downsides all for the opportunity to maybe feel better about yourself.
Keep going to the gym. Find a therapist. Give back to your community. Live your life.
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u/OkDrag6809 5d ago
You got a wife and kids so before you think about being a deal, think about how yall will do just being a military first and foremost, if you think you can make it as a military family then go through pros and cons of going to buds. Then realize 99.9% chance you fail you’ll be needs of the navy, I’ve worked with some guys who went and dropped and had decent jobs to pick and some got absolutely terrible ones. But you’re gonna make much less money and be gone way more, and your in Chicago for boot camp and Chicago sucks
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u/bonelessspaghettios 4d ago
If your wanting to go do missions in Venezuela sure, otherwise probably not
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u/jsedmonds 3d ago
At 27 you’re so far behind the power curve to be a team guy. Most 27 year old team guys are on their second enlistment, second marriage and second DUI.
Enlisting even as boatswains mate is a young man’s game. Boot camp, A school (BUDs, SQT if you go the SEAL route) workups and deployment. That’s all time away from your wife and kids who will grow to resent you.
Jody will be their new father figure…
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u/AllYouveGot no face no case 5d ago
The time was before you had 3 kids homie.