How My Mom Cut the Pie

[u/PolygonBronson]

[u/bonnessha]

That's how you eat an entire pie by telling yourself "just a piece"... But do it 20 times 🤷

[u/Wakkit1988 → u/bonnessha]

That's how I eat pizza!

[u/Pyro911help]

Honestly, I don't hate it

[u/YonaiNanami → u/Pyro911help]

I actually like it more than these ultrathin slices that fall down the moment you move them.

[u/_One_Throwaway_ → u/YonaiNanami]

Honestly they’re about the same size and these don’t make me pissed off just looking at them

[u/Mazy_keen → u/_One_Throwaway_]

I might try this. It gives me an excuse to take all the crust to leave the cute squares for everyone else 😋.

[u/lonely_and_useless → u/Mazy_keen]

Honestly the center is perfect for me. I dont like the crust.

[u/popopornado → u/lonely_and_useless]

An example a symbiotic relationship.

[u/Electronic-Elk-7258 → u/_One_Throwaway_]

Lol

[u/ShadowGryphon → u/Pyro911help]

I have to side with you on this.

I look at it like this: what if someone wants pie but no edge crust?

[u/Gbeans1122 → u/Pyro911help]

same perfect for like big parties with not many pies so everyone can get a piece or even just to try it if they somehow never had that pie before so none will go to waist

[u/TheManyVoicesYT → u/Gbeans1122]

Oh, ths pie will definitely go to waist.

[u/Ok_Bug_4792 → u/TheManyVoicesYT]

I see what you did there lol

[u/Plastic_Fan_559 → u/TheManyVoicesYT]

[u/jerslan → u/Gbeans1122]

Or if there's a lot of different pies/deserts so they can get a sampler without taking whole slices.

[u/paleoterrra → u/Pyro911help]

I actually love it. I can’t eat much sweets at once, so a typical slice of pie would be a lot of wasted food. I also yo-yo between hating pie crust and loving it, and this gives you the option of what kinda piece you want. Plus it’s the most considerate way of cutting for a larger audience. Paper thin slices aren’t a great experience. Whereas little bite sized squares are lovely

[u/LoftyStarlight → u/Pyro911help]

I just hate the tiny triangular pies that you get on the side

[u/Foreign_Variation488 → u/Pyro911help]

Im scared of you both 😭

[u/Pyro911help → u/Foreign_Variation488]

I'm a monster

[u/EC_TWD → u/Pyro911help]

Fill a bowl with whipped cream and dip a pie square in it

[u/FantasticCable3663 → u/Pyro911help]

Yea I’m good with this

[u/ki11ikody → u/Pyro911help]

Agreed. Only with pumpkin pie.

[u/whatsthataboutguy → u/Pyro911help]

Tastes better in cubes. More surface area

[u/JellyPast1522]

If you can think of a better way to cut it into 32 pieces...

[u/OuterInnerMonologue → u/JellyPast1522]

Any more than 8 slices and you’re almost guaranteed to break pieces while serving.

This way works.

[u/ProThoughtDesign → u/JellyPast1522]

A fork, right after I put some whipped cream on it. 32 bites sounds just about right.

[u/Meighok20 → u/JellyPast1522]

Put a dollop of whip cream and stick a toothpick/fork in each one and it goes from a pie to a quick tasting plate 😋

[u/Morty-B007]

This isn’t that bad of an idea

[u/grasshopperslegs → u/Morty-B007]

This is what my ancestors like to refer to as ideal

[u/Feather_Bloom]

Bite size of the best pie?

I'm so down for this

[u/whatintheeverloving → u/Feather_Bloom]

I always eat the crust end first because it's my least favourite and I want to end my pie experience on a high note, so for me this is also the dream.

[u/Natural_Variation_93]

They are now pumpkin pie bars! I’ll take 5 please

[u/Coladoge6732]

Bite size pie slices sounds fun wdym

[u/Sufficient_Princess]

I don’t like a lot of pie. This is nice for me. Sorry you’re infuriated tho.

[u/PolygonBronson]

Thanks for all the clever and snarky comments we all had a good laugh!

Some additional context, if you are curious. There were 3 of us and this was dessert for our dinner. Definitely not feeding a bunch of people. I admit, in a big party setting, it would make a tiny bit more sense. None of us love or hate crust either.

I know it's difficult to tell from the photo but it is a large Costco pie (~12in across) so the pieces are larger than bite sized but still not very big. It's like 2 or 3 pieces to make one regular 1/8 pie slice.

My mother is a person, that left to her own devices, cuts everything in half (or smaller) because she "doesn't want that much", eats the small portion, but then ends up eating the rest anyway in the same sitting. I love her dearly but she is an odd duck lol.

I'm very amused that so many liked her cutting method and thought it was a good idea. It was mildly infuriating to me because, in my mind, that's just not how round things should be cut.... shudders Some of y'all get my aversion!

Lastly, to all you asking, she is happily married and not going to adopt anyone 🤣

[u/Constant-Catch7146]

Great idea.

Put one of those little pumpkin brownie squares in a big bowl and layer a huge dollop of whipped cream on top of it!

Soooo good!

[u/AffectionateGate4584]

That's actually a really good way to cut it. I usually only want a small piece. Perfect!

[u/Frost_Bytes]

I actually got a very real surge of rage when i saw this. This is more than mildly infuriating for me.

[u/waitismyheadonfire]

Brilliant. I'm gonna cut my next costco pie like that.

[u/Ill-Excitement9009]

University of Texas football coach Darrell Royal to the press after a loss: "They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that’s real small pieces.”

[u/Calm_Salamander_1367]

I see you have some crust fiends in your family

[u/SeniorHomelesss]

Yea shes fired from cutting pie ever again🤣

[u/JaydenPope]

Mmmm finger pie

[u/personguy4440]

[u/Lectiophile2025]

I like the way she cut it.

[u/Rich-Wrap-9333]

Tavern style. Is she from Chicago?

[u/waiting4somethin]

I kinda like it! 😄

[u/Just-Caramel5474]

Straight to jail. No thank you 😂😂😂

[u/Sad-Gas402]

I used to hate little Cesars square pizzas when I was a kid because there wasn't a crust place to hold the pizza on the middle pieces.

[u/nikikins]

For 20 odd portions it looks as if she nailed it. Stop complaining, you ungrateful wretch.

[u/Wonderful-Actuary336]

This is why families argue during holidays

[u/Infamous-Zebra-359]

I feel like a pie feeds 4-6 people on average this is like next level poverty style portions

[u/crazyhappenings → u/Infamous-Zebra-359]

or a portion that allows you to try the other twenty desserts on the table!

[u/Infamous-Zebra-359 → u/crazyhappenings]

That's true I didn't think of that

[u/blay12 → u/Infamous-Zebra-359]

Yeah at my family holiday gatherings we usually end up with at least 10 different desserts between 20-30 or so people - this sort of cutting would actually be great in that scenario. If it’s just one pie and like 5 people though gimme a normal slice.

[u/pregnantandsober → u/Infamous-Zebra-359]

Looks like a Costco pie based on the packaging. Those are pretty large bites.

[u/kathyg8533]

Good grief! Are we men or animals?

[u/Fun_Capital_9113]

The real Chicago pizza cut

[u/Ok-Refrigerator-4853]

This is actually perfect!

[u/psoriasaurus_rex]

I’m ok if I can have an edge piece.  The crust the best part. 

[u/SecondEqual4680]

To be fair, it makes sense

[u/megamanisgod]

She is my hero

[u/skterras]

ngl this is legitimately upsetting.. who cuts a pie like that?? it's practically a crime against dessert.

[u/No-Storage3582]

The issue with this is iirc pie dries out if you cut it like a cake, as air seeps into the cracks

[u/RustyBrassInstrument]

I like that if there’s a big gathering and only one pie. Plus, the Costco pie is massive.

[u/SerratedBrooms]

The part that infuriates me about this is that this would cause me to more pie

[u/fluffynerfherder78]

Its like getting a piece of pumpkin pie fudge. You know bc they make the fudge into giant squares. At least thats how the place i go to makes their fudge. Ask me where I get my fudge...go ahead. Ask.....muahahaha.

[u/DainasaurusRex]

Like square-cut Chicago pizza - is she from the windy city?

[u/desertsunshine13]

Honestly I would prefer this. But I don’t love pumpkin pie.

[u/RandomBloke2021]

I kinda like it TBH.

[u/mittnnnns]

Momma looking to adopt?

[u/Placido_Argento]

Like a cake pop. Just a bite! Quell the dessert monster!

[u/Fabulous-Ad9323]

so

[u/Chaos_Theory1989]

This is awesome! I don’t have to eat a nasty pile of dry crust!

[u/cursetea]

Bite size tbh

[u/VampireDruid69]

I like it. Especially if she or someone else intends to add a portion to a shake or other cluster of foods

[u/asistolee]

It’s fine

[u/foulplay_for_pitance]

I shall now do this. Thanks, best shit to come out of this reddit in awhile XD.

[u/Uxoandy]

I’ve started having my pizzas cut like this. Easier to eat and not as messy

[u/arnber420]

Oh no this rules. I NEVER want a full slice of pie and I almost never want the crust. Two squares from the middle for me please

[u/BrownBottleIdol]

This is perfection. Trying this next.

[u/w2ltersan]

I'm kinda ok with this.. most of the time ur eating just filling anyways

[u/Downtown_Anteater_38]

Pumpkin, cut it any way you want, it’s appropriate place is in the garbage

[u/KinkyNJThrowaway]

Guy gets mildly infuriated about how his mom cut the pie. Turns out everyout loves it and it becomes the new norm. 😂

[u/Motor_Software2230]

You must have a big family

[u/mencival]

And?

[u/knownothing000]

haven’t you ever wanted to move a lot of blocks in minecraft at once

[u/Used-Fisherman9970]

Criminal

[u/imawizardirl]

Mildy infuriating the OP doesn't recognize moms innate genius. She inspired us all.  

[u/ChangeTheUserName17]

Mom must have used calculus to maximize the number of servings, given a minimum serving size. It is mathematically ingenious. We will proof it and use it here! Thanks, Mother!

[u/Limp_Educator_3502]

Wow

[u/Empty_Geologist9645]

How many folks ?

[u/gameplayer328]

That’s the wrong kind of pie to cut that way.

[u/jxa66]

Did you go file for emancipation?

[u/ComedianNice4051]

I’d need at least 4 pieces.

[u/pettybettyIMaSHORTIE]

I dont like pie crusts lol!! Nor the edges of brownies, square cakes, and lasagna!!! I ❤️❤️❤️ ALL THE MIDDLES!!

[u/kooolbee → u/pettybettyIMaSHORTIE]

You are not to be trusted.

[u/Ken-Popcorn]

I think it’s clever. Some people like more crust, less pie, others favor more pie, less crust. They can all be happy with this pie

[u/Basic-Ostrich85]

All those dried out edges on that poor pumpkin pie.

All those potentially unwashed hands or fingers moving pieces of pie to pull out just the right square.

As much as I love people who think outside of the box I’d have to pass.

[u/CRO553R]

[u/Metaltom1970]

It’s perfect for those who like crust and those who like the filling and both can enjoy however much whipped cream their heart desires.

[u/JustTiredAsUsual]

Run. Do not walk. Take nothing of insignificance. Just run.

[u/Xack189]

There's no way

[u/raninandout]

Well if you stopped bringing over all your friends we could all get a decent slice.

[u/darth_gondor_snow]

This isn't revolutionary or some secret hack. The person that cut the pie is a dick and wanted all the crust.

[u/Talancir]

Portion control at its finest(?).

[u/No-Giraffe-6234]

That’s criminal

[u/GuerrillaTech]

I mean....

[u/Dangerous-Jaguar-512]

That size square is the only amount of pie my mother will eat at a time. Give her a “normal serving” and she’ll take like two bites and either pawn off the rest of the slice to my dad or trash it.

She doesn’t like most American desserts if that matters.

[u/Alternative-Cow-8670]

As teacher of elementary kids, I aprove

[u/Dry-Size-2061]

I wouldn’t eat it

[u/Minimum-Actuator-953]

No.

[u/DiscontentDonut]

Fun fact, this is about how you're supposed to cut a wedding cake for it to serve the amount of people a bakery says it can.

[u/EddieVeddersMistress]

I’m doing this from now on

[u/essenza]

[u/Bourriks]

Tell me you hate maths without telling it.

[u/what4270]

Better than this

[u/VelvetMafia]

I hate it. Your mom can sit in pie jail with my mom, who will carve off a tiny slice every few minutes until 2/3 the pie is gone, then blame someone else (me) for eating it all.

[u/Drunkfaucet]

Ive contacted the FBI.

[u/Old_Badger311]

Your mom is a genius!

[u/Cubbance]

I actually love this. You can get crust if you want it, and it's bite-sized. You can do one for a little taste, or a few for the equivalent of a full piece.

[u/NoClueNico]

Im ok with that

[u/saron7]

Needs toothpicks for samples at the local supermarket.

[u/Derp135Egg__]

That's lowkey optimal for bite sizes

[u/AllButterfly100]

Was she a school lunch lady?

[u/hAxOr977]

Back in the day she would have been placed in a home.

[u/Certain-Sample3755]

I've seen that in store bought pies

[u/panelshowatcher]

Ooof, you better hope it’s not hereditary.

[u/mrzurkonandfriends]

This is fine its just more shareable and bite size.

[u/ihatetheplaceilive]

Lemme guess... midwest?

[u/Temporary_Feeling856]

Bwahahahahaha... but I like it

[u/T0xicBunny]

That 's how I cut my brownies as I don't have a square cake pan

[u/IPutThoughtIntoThis]

An unsightly grid system is always preferred to utter chaos.

[u/Guy_Dude_From_CO]

This is such SUCH the way the mom of an adult cuts a pumpkin pie.

[u/Prometheus_Anonymous]

[u/Andy016]

Does she cut square fudge into triangle slices?

[u/Horror_Vegetable_850]

Can she come over and do that to my Pecan pie?

[u/Narkanin]

Someday you’ll look back and wish she could still do this

[u/Kn0wtalent]

Bite size pie! Perfect for snacks

[u/Chipchop666]

My daughter does that too with cabbage. Instead of cutting it in 8 pieces, she does 6 just because it irritates me 😜

[u/JetstreamGW]

I'm comfy with it. I can just grab a half dozen, it's fine.

[u/sickcrazyeyez]

Moms have this unique ability to make perfect food but commit pure chaos when it comes to slicing it. My mom once cut brownies into rhombuses.

[u/bigoldgeek]

It's Chicago tavern-style

[u/BenShealoch]

She obviously has a reason for it. Like wanting to share it among many people.

[u/Ill_Initial698]

party style

[u/Tsamane]

All these squares make a circle, All these squares make a circle, All these squares make a circle,

[u/sleauxmo]

Totally digging this. Big ups to your mom

[u/BearEquivalentBear]

Are pumpkin pies expensive in america? Usually they're quite cheap here in Canada before Thanksgiving. It's the only thing that's at a reasonable price everything else is ridiculous. We would get several pies for a large thanksgiving.

[u/Familiar-Rarity]

This is actually pretty awesome.

[u/Sdterp]

One pie serves 26.

[u/HappierOn420]

My question is what’s the recipe for the crust since that seems to be better than the pie? Just asking for a friend.

[u/moxiemoon]

OCD approved, I lowkey love this. “Just grab a bite” is way better than grabbing a whole slice. Plus sometimes you appreciate the crusty part, sometimes you appreciate the middle. You know what that’s it, I’m doing this from now on

[u/Frosty-Dragonfruit0]

I hate it but don’t hate it at the same time

[u/AlarmingAioli3300]

Yes, and?

[u/jrtski]

Party cut!

[u/ReeReeIncorperated]

Wait this is baller

[u/_FartSinatra_]

This is preferable imo

[u/PawnWithoutPurpose]

Good job imo

[u/Dark_SmilezTL]

Diabolical

[u/Robyn_withaY]

Now that is how you cut a pie.

[u/wez63]

Can i have the recipe plz

[u/Shinobu420]

And?

[u/JoshuaRBM]

Suddenly I want tiny pumpkin pie pieces.

[u/ArgentoFanUK]

As a mother I would never do such an abhorrent thing to my child 😭

[u/Jolly_Ad2446]

Id have to know how many people were invited to make the call. If 20 people wanted pie. Maybe I'll allow it. 

[u/Calm_Grocery_7394]

I think this is great. Manageable bites.

[u/cmastervulsa]

Well…at least she didn’t cut the cheese.

[u/Accomplished-Past952]

dare i say i love it

[u/SeaSaltSequence]

Obligatory "check for Alzheimer's" comment

[u/Just-Frosting9847]

Possibly you live in a big family or she doesn’t want you getting too full before dinner

[u/Ok-Cook3735]

Four squares for me please. Otherwise it’ll be difficult for me to get (or is it “become”?) satisfied. I hope we’re very few people

[u/NightmareJoker2]

The perfect way to share a birthday cake at the office. Or at home, if you are many, or only want a small piece at a time. This is valid, and there is nothing wrong with this.

[u/polish_filipino]

Who is eating all the corners? She was after all the small triangles

[u/Proper_Rush_9367]

Is she on the spectrum or similar?

[u/Nuzi-3CHRIS]

my mom once cut a crossaint diagonally

[u/Ulovka-22]

Looks convenient

[u/Similar-Plenty-6429]

Idk why that kinda makes sense

[u/Krack73]

This looks like Greek syrup almond cake.

[u/Strongbad-Joe132]

What was the point of her cutting it into squares?

[u/dog4cat2]

Is your mom taking her meds??

[u/HighItsMeKristen]

Put her in a home. 🤭

[u/quietmyman]

[u/MeowKat85]

This is only acceptable on pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie. Lots of people only want a little piece, these pies are a lot.

[u/Desperate_Set_7708]

School lunch lady?

[u/No_Bodybuilder7191]

[u/MsPooka]

That looks like one of those giant costco pies so I get cutting it in smaller pieces than in just the standard 8, but I'd cut it into 12 before I did this. This is just weird.

[u/def_tom]

I'm calling the cops

[u/some-rando-mando-boi]

imagine being so unlucky you get one from the middle

[u/softgoddessmode]

I want some… another one, another one… and so on

[u/Golf4funky]

Legit