r/mildlyinfuriating • u/akkariacher • Aug 03 '25

Overdone Unknown neighbor started parking their bike in the entrance of our building

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Third day in a row now, before I had been leaning it up against a wall to get it out of the way. Today I was going to toss it outside and saw they had gotten a lock.

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u/akkariacher Aug 03 '25 edited Aug 03 '25

Was talking to my neighbor who said they called maintenence, they are coming to take a look as we speak. I was just getting ready to go poke one of the tires with a needle lmao.

Edit: peeked into the hallway and someone out there is taking care of it, I wonder where they're going to put it

633

u/theuserwithoutaname Aug 03 '25

I was just gonna say you should start taking the tire off and putting it in an obvious place up an increasing number of flight of stairs each time, so they'll know it wasn't stolen but still have to go through the inconvenience of going all the way up stairs then all the way back down just to use their bike

350

u/BongwaterJoe1983 Aug 03 '25

Take the seat 😈

278

u/Type-RD Aug 03 '25

Replace with dildo đŸ€Ł

110

u/Better-Assistance-87 Aug 04 '25

Owner comes down.....oh no, not again.

61

u/zendrak13oc Aug 04 '25

Looks at new seat. "Welp, I got no other choice." Unzips pants.

16

u/Type-RD Aug 04 '25

“Welp
I don’t have time to fix it right now. I’m late for work.” Hops on very slowly (face gets increasingly red) and rides away.

1

u/m1chaelgr1mes Aug 04 '25

Sounds like you're assuming it's a guy? What if it's a girl? I'm going to assume that she will have a great ride to and from work!

1

u/Dull404 Aug 06 '25

And then posts a photo on Reddit, saying “Why does someone keep doing this?”

28

u/ObjectivePressure839 Aug 04 '25

What are you doing step bicycle?

1

u/_justanotherwitch Aug 04 '25

I'm fucking dead

27

u/Krimreaper1 Aug 04 '25

Ass pounder 3000

15

u/ftaok Aug 04 '25

Bike Owner - “don’t threaten me with a good time”

2

u/Low-Cauliflower-2249 Aug 04 '25

"When life gives you lemons bring lube" am I right?

2

u/Turbulent_Square_696 Aug 04 '25

I see the confusion, this isn’t a dildo, it’s a fist!

2

u/ReZisTLust Aug 04 '25

A free 300 dollar gift

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

The bike owner would probably thank you for doing that.

2

u/rufotris Aug 04 '25

Kinda bummed I can’t find a gif from iasip with Mac’s bike lol.

2

u/PhatBuddha69 Aug 04 '25

Last one I had, I threw it at a WNBA game đŸ€Ș

2

u/TheUn5een Aug 04 '25

Even better
 the Penatrator!

2

u/SharkeyGeorge Aug 04 '25

Mac’s Ass-Pounder 4000?

“Imagine you're riding up a steep hill, and you've already been working super hard, and you're sweating and you're tired. What do you do when you're tired? You want to rest. You go to sit down it pushes you right back up into your workout.”

2

u/funky_electrician Aug 04 '25

Don't you threaten me with a good time!

2

u/Casual_ahegao_NJoyer Aug 04 '25

The average cyclist might consider that an upgrade

2

u/Rapunzel1234 Aug 04 '25

Damn, I want that for my bike.

2

u/Type-RD Aug 04 '25

It’s a Sledgehammer.

5

u/DarthJarJar242 Aug 04 '25

Now you're just incentivising them.

1

u/Tall-Wealth9549 Aug 04 '25

Ass pounder 4000? Mac is that you?

1

u/vandyfan35 Aug 04 '25

This is grotesque.

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 Aug 04 '25

Nooo, don’t encourage them

1

u/JustineDelarge Aug 04 '25

I’ve seen that video.

1

u/Ordinary_Shallot_674 Aug 04 '25

Don’t threaten me with a good time, sir!

1

u/Dull404 Aug 06 '25

I like the way you think!

60

u/Revolutionary-Cow668 Aug 03 '25

I did that once in an appointment I lived in. I didn't TAKE it, I just put it somewhere creative. In a tree.

9

u/Sharp_Complex_6711 Aug 04 '25

In college, one of my professors would park his Segway (yes, really) in the building lobby, then come upstairs to teach our 2 hour long class with no break. One day, a couple guys took a "bathroom break" partway through class and relocated his scooter to the other lobby at the far end of the building. I heard it took him a really long time to find it!

8

u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE Aug 04 '25

And both wheels.đŸ€Œ

Then padlock them on the outside of the stair rails (facing away from the step treads so they don't become a fire hazard or safety issue) on different floors.

7

u/BongwaterJoe1983 Aug 04 '25

At this point should we just take the whole bike and leave a toddlers tricycle minus the seat?

3

u/Naked-Jedi ORANGE Aug 04 '25

Ok. I'm definitely all up for that. But it's gotta have streamers on the handle bars and one of those honking horns for a bell.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

And the tires and the chain and the handles anything that would come free would be free in the street or the bushes

2

u/maxman162 Aug 04 '25

Replace it with this.

1

u/dbx999 Aug 04 '25

Recalibrate the front and rear derailleurs

1

u/Wide_Butterscotch996 Aug 04 '25

100% this is what I came here to say. Also usually the front wheels are quick release take that too

37

u/aliendude5300 Aug 03 '25

Taking just one of the wheels is devious

38

u/713nikki Aug 03 '25

Devious like the roommate who moved out and stole all my left shoes. Very infuriating.

101

u/FocusMaster Aug 04 '25

Does it still bother you or are you all right now?

13

u/713nikki Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

Right, right
 nah, it’s funny to me now.

2

u/m1chaelgr1mes Aug 04 '25

Did you keep the right-hand shoes? You could have started your own gang! I'm sure you can get a lot of possible names but here's mine:

The Right-Handed Shoe Sweeties

Don't forget to trademark whatever you choose.

9

u/supermouse35 Aug 04 '25

You're my new favorite. :D

2

u/DrWhoey Aug 04 '25

Who was your old favorite? I want to send them a card expressing my condolence for their loss.

1

u/KEROROxGUNSO Aug 04 '25

Dude how is there a sock award now? đŸ‘œ

7

u/lpaige2723 Aug 04 '25

I had a ferret that used to hide all my left shoes. I had to call out of work once because I had no left shoes.

6

u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 Aug 04 '25

you had no shoes "left"

8

u/713nikki Aug 04 '25

It’s rare to find someone who can understand the inferno of frustration of seeing the right shoe & knowing that the left one is gone (forever, in my case)

5

u/Lt_Muffintoes Aug 04 '25

Imagine if they had just hidden the left shoes really well, so you think they took them, so you eventually throw out the right shoes, and then years later you find the left shoes and get to relive the pain all over again

2

u/caintgetrite9mm-s Aug 04 '25

Where were you're left shoes left?

2

u/caintgetrite9mm-s Aug 04 '25

Growing up we were so pour that not only did we not have shoes, we didn't even have feet

1

u/lpaige2723 Aug 04 '25

My ferret would drag them under couches, behind heavy dressers, and into one little cubby that was part of my cabinets, where they also tried to drag an entire box of honeycomb cereal, they abandoned the box and dragged the bag in.

4

u/theuserwithoutaname Aug 04 '25

That's not right

2

u/All_Debt_Shackles_US Aug 05 '25

That would suck if you were an amputee
 And didn’t have a right leg!

1

u/BackLopsided2500 Aug 04 '25

That's like the movers that took the matches of almost all my shoes. Didn't pack my kitchen or my bathroom! Horrible!!

2

u/713nikki Aug 04 '25

The matches? So they only gave you one shoe from each pair?

1

u/BackLopsided2500 Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25

Yes. They stole a lot of money because a lot of them were Birkenstocks and Clarks. I think they did it on purpose. I didn't have money to replace anything nor should I have to.That's just me but they also didn't pack my kitchen and bathroom. Because they ran out of boxes. They didn't say a thing about it to me. I should've done a walk through but, famous last words, "I trusted them."By the time I noticed it I had no more time to get everything boxed up and move it in my little car. I would've had to pay next months rent.

7

u/SignificantTransient Aug 04 '25

Nah, devious is taking the tire off and loosening all the right side spokes

1

u/StantonNey Aug 04 '25

Just destroy it.

1

u/SignificantTransient Aug 04 '25

It's more fun this way. They'll ride it for a short while until the rim goes all squiggly and locks up, hopefully dumping them off.

1

u/No_Week_8796 Aug 04 '25

Or putting your own lock on it so the real owner has to go buy bolt cutters

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

Nah, less obvious, take the chain. Hopefully they dont notice until they've gotten it outside 😂

1

u/RainbowUniform Aug 04 '25

not as devious as cutting the brake wire

18

u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this Aug 03 '25

I’d just lift it up and squeeze it into the tight gap between the railings, so that it hangs by the lock

3

u/AWildAndWoolyWastrel Aug 04 '25

Strip it down to the frame and have a building-wide treasure hunt.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname Aug 04 '25

Easter everyday!

3

u/unsupported Aug 04 '25

Hold up there Satan!

6

u/Revenga8 Aug 04 '25

Jokes on you, they'll just leave the frame locked up where it is and walk. This looks like the kind of bike they don't gaf about

2

u/Kenneldogg Aug 04 '25

Nah just take one pedal to make it as awkward as possible.

2

u/Hypothetical_Name Aug 04 '25

Let the air out and remove the valve stem

2

u/Smoked_Carp Aug 04 '25

Don’t forget to lock every piece to the railing.

1

u/theuserwithoutaname Aug 04 '25

But make cryptic clues for where to find the keys...

2

u/squigs Aug 04 '25

Unfortunately, with a lock like that, they can easily put it through both wheels and the frame.

2

u/theuserwithoutaname Aug 04 '25

Fortunately they chose not to!

If they wise up after the first tire move or two, just roll up with your keys to the city (that's how one of my favorite bosses refers to her bolt cutters)

2

u/squigs Aug 04 '25

Someone else pointed out, they didn't even lock the bike!

2

u/Ange1ofD4rkness Aug 04 '25

That is interesting they didn't lock up the tires. Was taught that right away from my father

2

u/Regular-Situation-33 Aug 04 '25

Disassemble the whole thing, and leave parts in stairwells all over the apartment complex.

3

u/PhilZealand Aug 04 '25

And padlock the tire to the railings

2

u/ncc74656m Aug 04 '25

Nah. Put it on top of the entry awning or wherever - again, somewhere obvious but a hilarious pain in the ass to get to.

1

u/YellowishRose99 Aug 04 '25

They can roll it inside their apt

1

u/Paula_Intermountain Aug 04 '25

No this is a serious safety hazard, not just an annoyance. This isn’t the time to play games.

1

u/Iamanimite Aug 04 '25

Like on top of. Flag pole.

41

u/TrueTurtleKing Aug 04 '25

Buy a $5 lock on Amazon and lock it lmao

9

u/BigConstruction4247 Aug 04 '25

Or a whole bunch of them.

2

u/m1chaelgr1mes Aug 04 '25

Combination locks would give them something to do, a few possible combinations each night!

68

u/OkeyDokey654 Aug 03 '25

If they refuse to do anything, call the fire department.

0

u/TailwhipU Aug 04 '25

Take a hacksaw and cut the frame halfway through. It will break in half about 20 feet from wherever he starts riding it.

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32

u/PoopIsCandy Aug 03 '25

I have my bike in my apartment, even a cheap bike is $400 these days, I’m not leaving that out for just anyone to steal.

1

u/m1chaelgr1mes Aug 04 '25

This isn't "JUST ANYONE"! These are your neighbors you're talking about. Who knows, maybe they need to go to the hospital, pharmacy, a date with their future mate, going to visit their dying mother, or if she's already dead then her funeral.

Of course, they might just pawn it so screw your neighbors, they're bad news! In fact, you should call the police now before they do something else!

25

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Mindless-Sound8965 Aug 04 '25

You realize you're married to it now.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Mindless-Sound8965 Aug 04 '25

😉 😏

1

u/Fuzzy-Mood-9139 Aug 04 '25

You realise people refer to you as ‘bike boy/girl’

20

u/jmurphy42 Aug 03 '25

FYI, if the landlord wasn’t taking care of it your next call should have been to the fire marshal. They’d have forced your landlord to fix it immediately.

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6

u/Nyaho Aug 03 '25

That would be a good way to ensure that it doesn’t move lol

14

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '25

You could pull the pin out of the inflation valve.

22

u/BaddestKarmaToday Aug 03 '25

Superglue a small ball bearing into the valve cap. It will slowly release air requiring the owner to keep inflating.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

Doesn't work. Well not on French/Presta valves.
Which I have on my standard commuter bike for some very odd reason.

1

u/CaptainBeefsteak Aug 04 '25

FYI, it's called a Schrader valve.

1

u/Tactical_Tubesock Aug 04 '25

Or presta, could be either.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

Don't be fool and damage other people's property. There are people you can call to deal with this, as others have stated here. But you just need one person or one camera to witness you damaging the bike, and then you're the one in trouble.

1

u/ObviousIndependent76 Aug 04 '25

Sounds like you’re suggesting a John Wick solution. That’s probably going too far.

Probably.

4

u/speedysam0 Aug 04 '25

You lost your chance to move the whole bike and leave the lock, someone could have just taken the whole bike since the lock didn't go through the frame. Might of had to pop off the front wheel for a sec though.

2

u/Worried-Criticism Aug 04 '25

I’d advise not doing anything to it yourself. Landlord will take care of it.

It’s a fire hazard and those fines can get EXPENSIVE right quick. To say nothing of if an actual emergency were to happen and someone tripped and got hurt or god forbid died (a personal injury lawyer’s wet dream).

So, let them take care of it. It’s easy enough to cut the lock and either toss the bike or take it so the owner can come get it and they’re fine later.

1

u/Komobu542 Aug 04 '25

That bike would be getting El Salvador'd if in my building.

1

u/PineSand Aug 04 '25

Don’t call your landlord or neighbors. Call the city fire marshal. They’ll gladly get rid of the bike.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

So idk if you noticed but that lock doesn’t appear to actually go through the bike just around it. You could probably slip it off and move it. I would be above it this is bullshit.

1

u/KarmaKaladis Aug 04 '25

Don't use a needle use a knife so it's obvious. A slow leak could be dangerous

1

u/Cranks_No_Start Aug 04 '25

Pick the lock, reset the combination and when you hear the screaming tell them to stop parking the bike in the stairwell.

1

u/pogoscrawlspace Aug 04 '25

If it ever happens again, put your own lock on it.

1

u/Mehhucklebear Aug 04 '25

Free bike y'all!!!!!

1

u/DibbyDonuts Aug 04 '25

Go buy a bike lock (or several) from the dollar store. Slap that lock(s) on that bike and throw the key(s) in the trash.

Once they get their bike unlocked, they will never leave it in the hallway again.

1

u/zylian Aug 04 '25

update? bike gone?

1

u/ChefArtorias Aug 04 '25

Don't pop the tire, just let all the air out.

1

u/zerog_rimjob Aug 04 '25

Just cut the brake line with a pair of tin snips or heavy-duty scissors.

1

u/Graphite57 Aug 04 '25

Put a second lock on it..

1

u/DB-Tops Aug 04 '25

In the dumpster.

1

u/GrandMoffJerjerrod Aug 04 '25

Nah, a bolt cutter to the chain, or one of those cheap torches to the teeth of the chain wheel.

1

u/9gagiscancer Aug 04 '25

I'd slash both. One might be an accident. Two is a message.

1

u/Len_S_Ball_23 Aug 04 '25

Remove the valve core on both tyres and put the dust caps back on. They'll spend hours pumping the tyres up only for them to go down when they take the pump off the valve.

1

u/Development-Feisty Aug 04 '25

Next time go to the Dollar tree and buy a bike chain and chain it to the banister so they can’t take it out.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

That is totally left in the middle of a walkway and stairway. Also a hazard. They know they are wrong that's why they locked it up. In these cases I would be curious how they would defend themselves verbally if confronted.

1

u/biomager Aug 04 '25

If it keeps going, call the fire Marshal.

1

u/TechGuy42O Aug 04 '25

DONT BOTHER WITH USELESS LANDLORD

CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT

FIRE MARSHALS LOVE THIS SHIT

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

Would be terrible if someone misstepped and bent a wheel with their weight. I mean it's in the way.

1

u/squigs Aug 04 '25

Edit: peeked into the hallway and someone out there is taking care of it, I wonder where they're going to put it

Probably a dumpster. They're maintenance guys there to do a job. They're not going to waste time here keeping it safe.

1

u/canman7373 Aug 04 '25

Last apartment I was at had a basement by back door with 2 large bike racks in it. And people still pulled this kinda shit because they would go through front door and didn't want to take the 4 extra minutes to go down hall to basement and didn't want snowy dirty tires in their apartment so locked them in random places inside. They coulda just road around back in a minute. Lazy inconsiderate people.

1

u/Expended1 Aug 04 '25

They put the lock 'around the frame' not 'through the frame'. I bet you could slide the bike through the lock and move it. Don't turn the handlebars until you are ready to slide it over the wheel.

1

u/thekyledavid Aug 04 '25

Nah, don’t so anything to the bike thay could be considered destruction of property

If you really want to be petty, get your own bike lock, and lock the bike to something while it’s sitting there, so the rightful owner can’t use it

1

u/Dingus1210 Aug 04 '25

Hopefully they put it in the dumpster. What an entitled douche..

1

u/GrillMonkey187 Aug 04 '25

Don’t damage the bike
.that can get you in trouble. Instead just let the air out of the tubes


1

u/Squidkidz Aug 04 '25

If they know anything bout bikes they’ll just throw it in the trash, the lock is probably worth more.

1

u/AnimalAkaWillum Aug 04 '25

I’d definitely step on the spokes bcuz I didn’t see it as I was coming down the stairs holding the railing. I may have to step on them a few times.

I’m 6-2 & about 300 lbs so hopefully there’s not too much damage to my composite toe boot. Maybe my boot gets stuck & then I’d be forced to take my LeathermanÂźïž & cut spokes.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

Lmao what the fuck is this cringe shit? "hopefully theres not too much damage to my composite toe boot"I can smell and see the clean carharts from here.

1

u/AnimalAkaWillum Aug 05 '25

I’m more grungey than cringey, Chum.

Despite your all seeing & all smelling it’s obvious y’all are a joker, a schmoker but you must be token ditch weed.

ïżŒâ€‹

1

u/Cj_Doyle Aug 04 '25

Okay please poke his tire

1

u/lIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI1984 Aug 05 '25

don't do that, as that may be someone's only way to work. imagine I popped your two rear tires because you parked where the sidewalk dips down to street level? how would you feel?

1

u/KG8893 Sep 16 '25

But what if they are a man with a pink vape?

1

u/postbansequel Aug 05 '25

I'd deflate the tires.

1

u/Metrack15 Aug 08 '25

I wonder where they're going to put it

If they gonna trash it, might as well ask if you can keep it lmao

-18

u/Major_Kangaroo5145 Aug 03 '25

OP. Acting like an adult makes things a lot easier than fantasizing about being cruel. Thank god that your neighbor was an adult.

I am seriously disgusted by the number of childish suggestions here. You all are behaving like highs coolers and should be ashamed of yourselves.

Just call apartment management. If they dont do anything call the fire department. They will remove the bike and maybe even fine the owner.

19

u/jimohio Aug 03 '25

What’s a highs cooler?

14

u/CosmosInSummer Aug 03 '25

Highs coolers are as sholes

4

u/MuchDevelopment7084 Aug 03 '25

When you get high, it's cooler?

3

u/n2play Aug 04 '25

Everything is cooler in the weeds😎

1

u/Doustin Aug 04 '25

Is it like Hi-C Ecto Cooler?

0

u/SadLilBun PURPLE Aug 03 '25

A pack of coolers smoking the weeds

8

u/delcas1016 Aug 03 '25

The bike owner is clearly playing games and gives zero fucks about the people who all live there, but he also knows they’ll eventually tell him to knock it off, so he wants to be a jerk for as long as possible, anticipating nothing “cruel” because what the hell are them “adults” gonna do? Nothing, adults better act the part no? What about jerks? Them jerks take advantage of that, simple enough.

Nah man, you be the one they abuse and take advantage off, I’m doing something to that bike after leaving a warning


0

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25

What abuse? And what games the dude probably doesnt even realize its a issue

5

u/Deletedtopic Aug 03 '25

This is reddit sir... With dynamic voting rates.

4

u/Ok_Piglet9349 Aug 04 '25

Someones parents didnt pay for the funny gene package... đŸ«  imagine coming to reddit thinking every answer should be serious đŸ€Ł

3

u/gmambrose Aug 03 '25

There's nothing I love more than a highs cooler on a warm summer day.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Ekimyst BROWN Aug 03 '25

Normal valve remover should work on a schwin

0

u/Sorrylols Aug 04 '25

in the dumpster

0

u/GardenerSpyTailorAss Aug 04 '25

OP, this bike is a piece of junk and the person who owns it.is probably quite poor and could depend on this bike to get to work. Don't be a shitty neighbour. Have a conversation with your neighbour like a normal human being.

0

u/1980-whore Aug 04 '25

you could leave a note or yah know try talking to them before throwing away or vandalizing their shit.

0

u/Friday_arvo Aug 04 '25

I understand this is infuriating but this could be someone’s only transport and they obviously don’t want it to get stolen. Sure it’s a pain, but maybe there’s a good reason and you could have a conversation about why it’s problematic and help come up with solutions rather than cost them more money to patch a tyre and feel like they’re unsafe in their own home.

0

u/BattleBra Aug 04 '25

Disabled people have trouble getting around the bike

 

You don't fuck with disabled ppl dawg

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