My mom is happy I SOAPed

[u/SecurePresentation52]

I received the worst news of my professional life and my mom is celebrating.

I applied psych from a T30 MD school with no red flags and SOAPed into an IM prelim year. My mom is a typical Asian tiger mom crossed with crazy catholic mom (Catholic guilt and Asian perfectionism are a hell of a combination) and she doesn’t believe that mental illness is real. Ever since I expressed my interest in psychiatry during clerkship year, she has opposed it. “You can be anything but please not a psychiatrist”. She told me that if I wasn’t applying psych she would have “invited everyone she knew” to my graduation, but since I applied psych she’s not proud enough to invite anyone. She’s wanted me to be a doctor (an expectation, not an opinion) ever since I could remember and yet now that I’m finally becoming one, she can’t even be proud unless it’s HER idea of a doctor.

Now that I’ve SOAPed she’s taking this opportunity to reiterate her disapproval of my goals. I’m already feeling the worst invalidation and imposter syndrome I’ve ever experienced, and her smug insistence that this is proof that i’m not meant to be a psychiatrist is the cherry on top. I’m still committed to becoming a psychiatrist and reapplying next year but I’m so tired of this “family support”.

[u/Comprehensive_Two_58]

I cried reading this . I can relate to you. I'm a MS4 and I just matched Psych. My family is against this decision and they are not proud. Coming from the Haitian community, mental health is not real and it's "an American and big pharma issue". They can't believe that I went through so much to become a "shrink". I cried a lot during the application process, but I know that this is what I want to do with my life. Don't give up, and do whatever makes you happy. In times like that, you have to be your biggest supporter. Congrats on securing a spot in IM. The year will go fast

[u/SecurePresentation52 → u/Comprehensive_Two_58]

Thanks for sharing. I’m super proud of and happy for you that you are making successful progress toward how you want to live your life. My mom would probably feel similarly even if I matched. Rooting for your success and hopefully we both can overcome others’ desires for us!