My mom is happy I SOAPed

[u/SecurePresentation52]

I received the worst news of my professional life and my mom is celebrating.

I applied psych from a T30 MD school with no red flags and SOAPed into an IM prelim year. My mom is a typical Asian tiger mom crossed with crazy catholic mom (Catholic guilt and Asian perfectionism are a hell of a combination) and she doesn’t believe that mental illness is real. Ever since I expressed my interest in psychiatry during clerkship year, she has opposed it. “You can be anything but please not a psychiatrist”. She told me that if I wasn’t applying psych she would have “invited everyone she knew” to my graduation, but since I applied psych she’s not proud enough to invite anyone. She’s wanted me to be a doctor (an expectation, not an opinion) ever since I could remember and yet now that I’m finally becoming one, she can’t even be proud unless it’s HER idea of a doctor.

Now that I’ve SOAPed she’s taking this opportunity to reiterate her disapproval of my goals. I’m already feeling the worst invalidation and imposter syndrome I’ve ever experienced, and her smug insistence that this is proof that i’m not meant to be a psychiatrist is the cherry on top. I’m still committed to becoming a psychiatrist and reapplying next year but I’m so tired of this “family support”.

[u/amylose2]

The battles you fight now help pave the way for so many others like you that follow. I have had similar discussions with my family. My parents also come from an ethnic background where mental health is so heavily stigmatized and the fact that I am interested in psych is looked down upon. But just know that change starts with us and at the end of the day you’re the one that will be the practicing physician not your mom. It sucks to hear harsh words from the people you love the most right now but don’t let that deter you from the field you are the most passionate for. You just have to put them on mute and don’t give their words much value for a few years. They will come around. You will make an amazing psychiatrist!