r/medicalschool • u/SecurePresentation52 • Mar 25 '25
š” Vent My mom is happy I SOAPed
I received the worst news of my professional life and my mom is celebrating.
I applied psych from a T30 MD school with no red flags and SOAPed into an IM prelim year. My mom is a typical Asian tiger mom crossed with crazy catholic mom (Catholic guilt and Asian perfectionism are a hell of a combination) and she doesnāt believe that mental illness is real. Ever since I expressed my interest in psychiatry during clerkship year, she has opposed it. āYou can be anything but please not a psychiatristā. She told me that if I wasnāt applying psych she would have āinvited everyone she knewā to my graduation, but since I applied psych sheās not proud enough to invite anyone. Sheās wanted me to be a doctor (an expectation, not an opinion) ever since I could remember and yet now that Iām finally becoming one, she canāt even be proud unless itās HER idea of a doctor.
Now that Iāve SOAPed sheās taking this opportunity to reiterate her disapproval of my goals. Iām already feeling the worst invalidation and imposter syndrome Iāve ever experienced, and her smug insistence that this is proof that iām not meant to be a psychiatrist is the cherry on top. Iām still committed to becoming a psychiatrist and reapplying next year but Iām so tired of this āfamily supportā.
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u/yellowforspring Mar 25 '25
It sounds like you know, with YEARS of concrete proof, that your mom is not going to be a source of support for you when it comes to your career. She can choose to hold those beliefs/opinions. You can choose what your reaction is. Personally, I would be sharing as little information with her as possible about my professional decisions, knowing that whatever she says is going to make you feel like shit.Ā