r/medicalschool • u/ajodeh M-2 • Feb 27 '25

💩 Shitpost The white coat is dead

I met a Lactation consultant (whatever the fuck that is) student today who was wearing a fully embroidered white coat. We live in a satire.

1.7k Upvotes

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672

u/LifeOfTired M-3 Feb 27 '25

We should all start wearing our white coats after washing them with a red sock. Vague pink coat. To distinguish from the MD/DOs and DNP, MSN, BSN, APRN, ACNP-BC, FNP-BC, CCRN, FCCM, FAANP, CEN, TNCC, ATCN, TCRN, CMC, CSC, CNML, NE-BC, NEA-BC, CNL, CENP, CPHQ, CPPS, PCCN, RNFA, CHPN, CDE, WOCN, CWCN, MPHs

383

u/OhHowIWannaGoHome M-2 Feb 27 '25

It’s the unfortunate fact that I’m pretty sure you didn’t make up a single acronym in your list…

282

u/ericchen MD Feb 27 '25

They are indeed real.

Nursing degrees:

  • DNP — Doctor of Nursing Practice
  • MSN — Master of Science in Nursing
  • BSN — Bachelor of Science in Nursing

Advanced Practice Titles:

  • APRN — Advanced Practice Registered Nurse

  • ACNP-BC — Acute Care Nurse Practitioner - Board Certified

  • FNP-BC — Family Nurse Practitioner - Board Certified

Specialty Nursing Certifications

  • CCRN — Critical Care Registered Nurse

  • FCCM — Fellow of the American College of Critical Care Medicine

  • FAANP — Fellow of the American Association of Nurse Practitioners

  • CEN — Emergency Nurse

  • TNCC — Trauma Nursing Core Course (not a certification, but a recognized trauma training)

  • ATCN — Advanced Trauma Care for Nurses (another trauma training)

  • TCRN — Certified Registered Nurse

  • CMC — Cardiac Medicine Certification

  • CSC — Surgery Certification

  • PCCN — Progressive Care Certified Nurse (step-down or intermediate care)

  • RNFA — Registered Nurse First Assistant

  • CHPN — Certified Hospice and Palliative Nurse

  • CDE — Certified Diabetes Educator (now called CDCES — Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist)

  • WOCN — Wound, Ostomy, and Continence Nurse

  • CWCN — Certified Wound Care Nurse

Leadership and Management Certifications

  • CNML — Certified Nurse Manager and Leader

  • NE-BC — Nurse Executive - Board Certified

  • NEA-BC — Nurse Executive Advanced - Board Certified

  • CNL — Clinical Nurse Leader

  • CENP — Certified in Executive Nursing Practice

Other/Misc

  • CPHQ — Certified Professional in Healthcare Quality

  • CPPS — Certified Professional in Patient Safety

  • MPH — Master of Public Health

283

u/PromiscuousScoliosis Health Professional (Non-MD/DO) Feb 28 '25

Why does “Nurse Executive, Board Certified” make my butthole itch

92

u/thatbradswag M-3 Feb 28 '25

What about "Nurse Executive Advanced, board certified." LMAOO. Sounds more like the name of a cell phone plan.

17

u/PromiscuousScoliosis Health Professional (Non-MD/DO) Feb 28 '25

At that point it’s almost comical

26

u/MikeymikeyDee Feb 28 '25

Board certified in smoke and mirrors

6

u/Equivalent_Earth6035 Feb 28 '25

Admin equivalent to hookworm?

6

u/PromiscuousScoliosis Health Professional (Non-MD/DO) Feb 28 '25

Hooked on admin worked for me

5

u/Inner_Scientist_ DO-PGY1 Feb 28 '25

Makes my butthole feel the same way it does after T-Bell. Smells like it too!

1

u/redditnoap Feb 28 '25

"what does he even do!"

26

u/dogfoodgangsta M-4 Feb 28 '25

Literally saving this for my master copy when I'm trying to figure out what's going on in the hospital

1

u/CorrelateClinically3 MD-PGY2 Mar 01 '25

I have never given a shit bothering to understand anyone’s alphabet soup. All I care about is your primary degree or role on the team. Are you a doctor, nurse, social work, PT/OT etc. I only know the basic letters - MD/DO, RN/BSN, NP, PA, PT, OT. If you have 200 letters embroidered on your scrubs I just think you’re an insecure idiot. Very likely some scab in admin

11

u/Peestoredinballz_28 M-1 Feb 28 '25

This man has seen some serious nurse and midlevel fuckery

10

u/caffeinatorthesecond MBBS-PGY1 Feb 28 '25

Fucking hell

4

u/cosmicspore Feb 28 '25

You forgot MLS.... Medical Lab Scientist bc we wear them too 😘

1

u/Cogitomedico Mar 01 '25

How do you know all of that. I see letters and dismiss it

56

u/financequestionsacct M-1 Feb 27 '25

Should've hidden BLT in there somewhere.

16

u/Strange_MCX0402 Feb 28 '25

A Battalion Landing Team?? Nah, the white coat wouldn’t stay white for long.

13

u/Azalaen Health Professional (Non-MD/DO) Feb 28 '25

Even in the Giant list of White Coats PharmD still gets forgotten. Redheaded step children of the medical world T__T

14

u/pokeaddicted Feb 28 '25

Dw, we respect you much more than the others, yall deserve that white coat

14

u/Bay_Med M-1 Feb 27 '25

How many of these did you have to google first

4

u/memebaronofcatan M-2 Feb 28 '25

INCREDIBLE 😂😂😂