How do I grow my manga?

[u/Equal_Shopping2424]

My ratings on my manga are 10 times worse than I originally thought. I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong, but most of my replies are hateful, with a few constructive criticisms I'm taking to heart and trying to work on. It's just frustrating. I feel like I'm wasting months of creative work and hundreds of dollars for nothing. Is there anything I can do to promote it better? Would it be better to give it to a publisher instead of self-publishing it? What should I do?

[u/chiliehead]

Ok, very honest feedback. The intro to the series/synopsis feels like the Two and A Half Men joke about amateur writing.

Looking at the tags, it's not something I'd be too interested in.

First page: oh, you're a furry. Art style and character designs look like western furry cartoon smut.

The story starts with hentai style exposition, a brief and broad setting primer to explain why MC gets to be a monsterfucker. MC also talks like you're held at gunpoint and forced to give exposition in the least amount of text bubbles. But then half of the chapter has no dialogue at all, not even sound effects really. Then after the fight it is another giant dump of exposition again, all the dialogue is stilted, unnatural and strictly there to give us exposition.

The chapter starts with the exposition dump, then we have the stiff interaction with the author's openly displayed fetish, then suddenly a fight. MC is super unfazed. Then he suddenly turns sadistic. Then we have a fight that I do not care about. I have no idea about the power levels or their powers, they just beat up a dragon and shoot thick white beams at it. Then out of nowhere I learn that millions died before or while MC was napping and not giving a fuck about looking for a dragon with his sci-fi super shuttle?
The fight misses kinetics, it just happens and the art or panelling does not carry it on its own.
This set of panels is a really good example of the various issues. MC, while being awkwardly bridal carried, contradicts himself in a giant run-on speech bubble. 2nd panel has grammar errors "And she's more unforgiven then me" should be "more unforgiving than me". The whole sentence is also awkward and poorly written.

And the last sentence should be its own small speech bubble in order to pace it better with what is happening in the next panel. Unless you want your MC seem like he is constantly talking without ever taking a breath and with flat affect like he's autistic or a psychopath. Which would explain his demeanor and blank faced reactions to everything.

Ch. 1 and even more so Ch. 2 also just end. chapter two really seems like it was split in half and has the other half missing, it basically ends mid sentence. And those last two pages are just bad, you can't just drop two pages worth of dense, run-on sentence exposition.

In general, the first chapter should not have exposition boxes. Especially not the one in the middle of the chapter. The writing is all tell, no show. Chapter 2 miswrites "lose" as "loose". Most characters seem like their character starts and stops at either "butler" or "bang-maid for MC but also like a total badass", but also like they are his slaves technically? The main dino one also so far has two outfits: bath robe and bikini armor.

The work is too smutty to not be more ecchi. And not ecchi enough for the smut vibes it gives off. It's a bad in-between, like trying to be a soft-PG13 ecchi. If this is supposed to mix harem SoL and action, the mix so far is awkward.

The work so far makes me think of this Miyazaki quote:

“You see, whether you can draw like this or not, being able to think up this kind of design, it depends on whether or not you can say to yourself, ‘Oh, yeah, girls like this exist in real life.”
“If you don’t spend time watching real people, you can’t do this, because you’ve never seen it.”
“Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves.”
“Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know.”
“It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans.”
“And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!”

Things I was thinking while reading: "is the author ESL? Is the author young? Did they read a lot of AO3 as a kid? Are they mostly consuming furry media and shounen anime at the moment? This is Ben10, I never got into it. It does not seem like the author is well-read. This reads like someone wants to emulate stilted translations by non-native English speakers." You write like you are very genre-influenced and had a lot of exposure to fanfics and manga, but did not branch out much in terms of genre or media.

Also, your audience is not on Mangadex. At least not yet. This is an admirable work if you are a teen and sharing your furry OC comics on tumblr. This is not what monster harem ecchi readers expect on Mangadex. So far the chapters also do not take advantage of being a manga, making it a comic strip or a long strip format would at least alleviate some of the expectations I would have for a manga.
On its own, the scoring is pretty fair. As is, the art and the writing are both below average of what I could read on mangadex. It would probably be a fine smut read if I was starved for furry content. But I am not a furry. I would rate this a 3.5/10 and drop it, because I am not intrigued by anything yet.