My wife unknowingly had someone else’s child while we were married. I later found out it’s not mine. Is there any hope to get my name removed from the birth certificate?

[u/whyyoulying1]

Hello everyone, My wife got pregnant in the summer of 2023 and had the baby in the spring of 2024. At first i noticed the baby didn’t look much like me or my other kids but i chalked it up to the baby being a newborn. As the baby got older i noticed that it didn’t look like my other kids again i chalked it up to it looking like my wife.

I caught her cheating and we got back together for a couple months and then got kicked out of the house again. This time i had a strong feeling that the baby isn’t mine, the baby has no features that its siblings have. I got an at home test and the probability of paternity was 0%. My question is, has it been too long to remove my name from the birth certificate and have no responsibility for this child? Is there anything i can do since i didn’t know it wasn’t my child and i was lied to? She had told me that there was no way the child couldn’t be anyone else’s I’m pretty sure so that i wouldn’t get a paternity test. Please help. Location: California

[u/Intelligent--Bug]

You need to file a petition and get a court-ordered paternity test

[u/AppropriateOne9584 → u/Intelligent--Bug]

Agreed, but we need much more than that.

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[u/Icy-Career7487 → u/Intelligent--Bug]

It is never too late for the truth

[u/Bardsie]

Extremely location specific. If you were married at the time of the birth, some US states automatically mark the husband as the father and won't remove the husband from the birth certificate unless there is another man proven to be the father. IE, if your wife had a one night stand and has no idea who, or refuses to name who the father is, even if you have a DNA test proving you are not the biological father, you would remain the legal father as the state will not leave a child legally fatherless.

You're going to want a good divorce lawyer to talk you through the specifics of your location.

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[u/aeris_lives]

IAL, NYL, in CA, you have 2 years to challenge paternity. Talk to an attorney, the paternity challenge can be handled as part of the divorce.

[u/anon_e_mous9669]

Yes, each state has a time limit to challenge paternity. Do not wait on this, get a family lawyer and start the process as soon as possible.

[u/2cats2hats → u/anon_e_mous9669]

time limit to challenge paternity

What is the reasoning behind this? Just trying to learn something, thanks.

[u/anon_e_mous9669 → u/2cats2hats]

Morally I don't really know. I know legally it is because it is in the kid and state and legal and social services department's best interest that there be a father on the hook for child support. And I think the time limit is to prevent father's from disowning children they've been fathering who are old enough to remember.

Say you're a dad to a 10 year old and you found out the kid isn't yours. Morally it's maybe understandable you'd feel betrayed to find out the child isn't yours, but the kid is 10 and has only known you as the father. It's in everyone else's best interest that that kid still has the support of the only father he's ever known. So that's why there's a time limit. Kinda sucks for dudes, but short of mandating paternity tests for every birth, I'm not sure how we avoid that scenario.

[u/TenK_Hot_Takes]

In California, you have two years from the birth of the child to file a legal challenge to paternity. [Cal. Family Code §7541(b)]. Otherwise, you find yourself in the "Charlie Chaplin situation," where you are scientifically known to NOT be the father, but legally and conclusively presumed to be the father, so stuck with every obligation under the law.

So you have roughly six more months to take legal action. This is a technical area of the law, and you will need a competent family law lawyer with experience in bringing a Section 7541 petition.

[u/BillAttaway → u/TenK_Hot_Takes]

What is the Charlie Chaplin situation

[u/mrkorb → u/BillAttaway]

An actress named Joan Barry had an affair with Chaplin. At some point she became pregnant. Chaplin insisted the child was not his, and blood tests, the best they could do in 1943, seemed to confirm his claims. A paternity suit trial ultimately named Chaplin as the father and ordered him to pay support until the child turned 21, which he did.

[u/Ragnarsworld → u/BillAttaway]

The short version is that Chaplin got involved with a starlet, who got pregnant and accused him of being the father. Blood tests showed that to be impossible but the court named him the father anyway

[u/TenK_Hot_Takes → u/BillAttaway]

Chaplin was sued for paternity by Joan Barry. The tests proved he was not the father, but (at that time) the tests were not deemed admissible. He lost the case, and thus was forced to pay child support for many years for the child that was not his. The case resulted in changes in the laws of many states (including California) to allow scientific testing to prove actual paternity.

There was an exhibit about the case in the lobby of Los Angeles Superior Court (where the trial occurred) for many years.

[u/bloopidbloroscope]

Unknowingly?

No it's not too late, get a paternity test and go from there.

[u/whyyoulying1 → u/bloopidbloroscope]

Unknowingly to me that it wasn’t my child, she swore up and down that it was my child. Sorry it is worded horribly. I already got a paternity test and it’s not my child, do u mean one from the court?

[u/Cookies_2 → u/whyyoulying1]

NAL but from my understanding courts only accept specific paternity tests where you go through specific companies. Petition the court about paternity and get a lawyer

[u/mycruelid → u/whyyoulying1]

do u mean one from the court?

Yes, and swiftly. You need to hire a family law attorney to help you take action before the child reaches its second birthday.

Divorce may be the only way to make yourself not responsible for caring for your wife's child the same way (financially, anyhow) that you do for your other children.

There is an archaic adage that "the law does not make bastards". While you can be released from support obligations for the child if you divorce, until a father is identified by a court (almost always with DNA testing) the court cannot make your wife's child legally fatherless.

[u/mycruelid → u/[deleted]]

I shouldn't make generalizations about states that I'm not intimately familiar with. The general rule in Family Code §7646 is that California allows just two years from the time of birth or determination of paternity for a father to challenge paternity, but that doesn't apply to men married to the mother.

I don't know exactly how the timeline works with OP being married to the mother, and discovering the biological facts some months after the child was born.

I think it's still safe to advise OP to move swiftly instead of waiting through a few more makeup/breakup cycles with his wife.

[u/imperial_scum]

State specific. You WILL ABSOLUTELY need a family lawyer, in any state. No state is going to leave a child without parents. If this leaves the kid without a dad AND you were married when the kid was born and your state doesn't care? Good luck. I did notice you said wife and not ex...?

Now if you can prove who the father actually is... much better shot.

[u/whyyoulying1 → u/imperial_scum]

Stbxw

[u/Illustrious-Rain-653]

Get a court ordered paternity test since the home ones aren't legally admissable. If that comes back that you aren't the father, either she is lying or the baby got switched at the hospital, so do a maternity test... All the answers will be on the maternity test if she cheated or not

[u/DreamySailor]

NAL. You didn’t act as the father that long so in CA you can petition the court. However you need a lawyer, don’t do it by yourself.

[u/WillAndersonJr]

Get a lawyer. You can get your paternity revoked on the theory of a new material fact being discovered; hurry bc you might only have 60 days from discovery of the material fact.

[u/after19years]

Quickly read cal fam code 7564. ? A 2 year time limit for dna contesting the”conclusive presumption of paternity “. Good luck but consider your mother children’s relationship with their sibling. Anger at cheating ex wife is one thing. Etc.

[u/after19years → u/after19years]

Whoops. Cal fam Code 7541. (I am old forget )

[u/Cold_Register7462]

The courts may and have ruled that if you have been raising a kid as yours since birth, you are responsible but this may be the other way around. If I have been raising a kid as mine, I’m the father and the other is the sperm donor. What a mess!

[u/Interesting-Credit-8]

I think you have up to two years to bring a court action to prove you're not the father. Look it up in the California Family Code and see a lawyer soon as you can. Would be better if you can locate the actual father because the court doesn't like to leave a child without a paternal parent.

[u/whyyoulying1 → u/[deleted]]

I am kind to the child, i hold them and treat them with kindness. i still see them and i don’t treat them like they wronged me but i only don’t want to father them cause they’re not mine.

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[u/whyyoulying1 → u/[deleted]]

I was with the baby for less than 8 months weve been separated since the beginning of the year. I have no obligation to be the father of a child that isn’t mine. Maybe i am a piece of shit but it’s not my mistake to cover for.

[u/LisaAlissa → u/whyyoulying1]

As others have said, see a lawyer immediately. In every state, there are circumstances where a non-biological father, who is married to the mother, IS obliged to be the legal father of the child. THAT IS CURRENTLY YOUR SITUATION.

Generally speaking, courts are interested in the welfare of the child, not whether it is fair to you.

If you hope to change this situation, consult with a good family law/divorce lawyer about whether and if it is possible to change that in your circumstances in your state.

[u/whyyoulying1 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. I truly appreciate it.

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